So I was at a store the other day speaking to a woman in line who was commenting on how adorable my kids are (and yes they are ridiculously cute and well behaved when they want to be) and through conversation I mentioned that Peter was overseas and her response was . . . let's just say not the best (it's number one on my list). So it got me thinking of all the things that people say to me that I would rather not hear, so here is my list of the most ridiculous and irritating things I have heard in the last 11 months.
1. Aren't you afraid he isn't going to make it home?
Uhhh, yes I am! Every night I go to bed alone, each recital I attend without him, every bag of trash I have to take out because he isn't here reminds me of the fact he is in danger and I had just managed to forget about it for about 2 seconds, but thanks for reminding me again.
2. How much longer do you have?
I know this is a talking point, but really I try NOT to focus on how much longer I "have left." Ever hear the saying a watched pot never boils? The same concept applies. If I obsess about how long he has been gone and how many days are left it only makes it feel like time is inching by at a snail's pace, so please don't make me hash it out I try REALLY hard not to look at the calendar every day and calculate how many days, hours and minutes there are before he returns.
3. How long has he been gone?
Again like number 2. I really don't want to dwell on the fact that he has been gone for 10 months has missed our anniversary, 3 birthdays, graduation, first day of school, valentine's day and Christmas and all that is in between.
4. I just don't know how you do it!
I know you are trying to pay me a compliment with this statement, but really I am just one of hundreds of thousands of military wives across the country doing the same thing. We are all asked to do extraordinary things in our lives that some would deem impossible, but in truth put in the same situation you would figure out how to cope just like each wife does.
5. So do you miss him?
Duhh! Yes I miss him! What kind of question is that? If I didn't miss him I am thinking we have some serious issues. I miss him every time I get up and there is no little note to tell me how much he loves me, no one calls during the day to see how I'm doing, no one helps clean up after dinner, I am the only person who sleeps in my bed and no one asks how my day was. Yes a resounding yes I miss everything about him.
6. You only have 2 months left - that's not that long at all, it is right around the corner.
Uhhh, yeah sure two months isn't that long but the eleven months he has been gone have been. Please don't try and cheer me up by saying 2 months isn't that long. Trust me I feel like he has been gone for eleven months and the two months left still feel like an eternity to me and my kids.
Having a deployed soldier is tough. I miss him every day and our kiddos serve just as hard as he and I do missing their daddy and figuring out how to cope without a daddy around except through the computer. We are making it through one day at a time and I can't wait to have him home!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Changes
So it has been forever since I have been on this blog. Life has changed quite a bit. Peter is still deployed, yes I know it seems like he should be home - trust me I know, but it isn't too far off. He came home for R and R what seems like forever ago and we went to Disney (so much fun), I took a job teaching kindergarten and I lost 20 pounds. Grace has grown, Ben has grown and school is coming to a close in just one short month believe it or not. The Dell's are still here, we are just monumentally busy all the time it seems. But we are still alive and well in Lawton and Peter overseas. Have I said in the last 5 minutes how much I miss my husband and can't WAIT for him to come home?
Friday, September 17, 2010
Tears
So it finally happened. My go with the flow, everything is alright, I can pretty much go along with anything little man cried over missing his Daddy today. I hear him crying back in the playroom and he comes out and crawls up in my lap and says, "I miss daddy. I want to show him all my moves and he isn't here. I just miss him." Then he snuggled his head in my chest and cried. Break my heart into a million pieces please. We talked about Daddy and how they were going to have a boy's night at El Chico when he gets back and then he felt better. I have to say seeing tears in your babies eyes is one of the hardest parts of deployment. Although I am always amazed at how resilient kids are, 5 minutes after I let him go he was back to wreaking havoc on everything in his path as "The Sheriff" courtesy of his treasure chest pick from school today. Love my little man and the tenderness he showed today. Grace and Ben are just too sweet for words - they are amaziningly special in more ways than I can count.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Preschool Profanity
If you are a parent of preschoolers or toddlers you know what preschool profanity is. Is it the four letter words that we grown ups are so familiar with? Nope, I am talking about those very interesting threats and name calling that can only come from a 3-6 year old's mouth.
For example, my son looked right at his sister and called (or should I say yelled) with all the fury his 3 year old little body could muster, "Diaper Butt."
Or how about the ultimate preschool profanity, the king of all the "four letter words", screamed "Fine then, I'm not your friend!" which garners the response, "Fine, you're not my friend!" The ultimate insult.
They are like those Orbit's gum commercials, the ones where they curse by calling each other names like "lint licker." They are so funny when they try to be mad. Sometimes when I watch how they act stomping around, getting all huffy I think how I sometimes feel that way on the inside and unfortunately I can't stomp around and throw a hissy fit even if I wanted too. No I'm a respectable 30 year old mom who sets an example for her kids, but I think the next time some cashier with a bad attitude crosses my path I might just pull "diaper butt" out and lay it on her, see how she likes that!
So don't cross me I might just have to tell you that you're not my friend if you don't watch out.
For example, my son looked right at his sister and called (or should I say yelled) with all the fury his 3 year old little body could muster, "Diaper Butt."
Or how about the ultimate preschool profanity, the king of all the "four letter words", screamed "Fine then, I'm not your friend!" which garners the response, "Fine, you're not my friend!" The ultimate insult.
They are like those Orbit's gum commercials, the ones where they curse by calling each other names like "lint licker." They are so funny when they try to be mad. Sometimes when I watch how they act stomping around, getting all huffy I think how I sometimes feel that way on the inside and unfortunately I can't stomp around and throw a hissy fit even if I wanted too. No I'm a respectable 30 year old mom who sets an example for her kids, but I think the next time some cashier with a bad attitude crosses my path I might just pull "diaper butt" out and lay it on her, see how she likes that!
So don't cross me I might just have to tell you that you're not my friend if you don't watch out.
Milk
Can someone explain to me where all the milk goes in my house? I bought two gallons of milk, a half gallon of chocolate milk, and my neighbor gave me a gallon milk because they were going out of town and all I have left is a 1/2 gallon of 1% left? I swear someone is drinking milk in their sleep!
Is it even healthy to drink that much milk?
Is it even healthy to drink that much milk?
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Cleaning and Cleaning and Cleaning
Today I had to deal with a child sobbing because of a toilet. Strange right?! Let me expound on how a toilet can cause red face alligator tears. Today I had the kids help clean up the house that literally looked like a tornado hit it. Normally I only make them clean their rooms and the playroom, but since they had taken it upon themselves to drag their stuff (mess) around the entire house, I had them help with all the rooms.
So they cleaned spills and marks off the floor, vacuumed the rug, cleaned their rooms, the playroom and then I essentially ordered them around to clean other things.
So the big moment: I tell Benjamin to go get a wipe and clean up the toilet - Grace obviously thinks that sounds like something she would like to do, so she rushes and yells, "I'll do it!" Ben runs after her and says "No Mom said me!" At this point they are literally arguing over who is going to wipe down the toilet. I go back to settle the argument and Ben is on his bed bawling, red faced with huge tears. So to settle the argument and quell the tears, I promise Grace she can vacuum and tell Ben he can do the toilet. This makes everyone happy (including me) and the tears cease. All is right with the world again, Ben gets to clean the toilet and Grace gets to vacuum - isn't life grand.
When we are done, Grace informs me that she and Ben did all my job and I hardly did anything (yeah right). Now she has become the mess nazi getting onto anyone that leaves a mess anywhere in the house. Maybe I will make them help with the house everytime, the house has been clean for 2 full hours and the kids are "exhausted of cleaning" and watching t.v. Life is good and my house is clean. What more could I ask for? Uhhh . . . well maybe my husband home, a million dollars, the ability to transport myself like on Star Trek or a private plane, and a bikini body again? That's not too much right? I guess I will settle for a clean house and exhausted children.
So they cleaned spills and marks off the floor, vacuumed the rug, cleaned their rooms, the playroom and then I essentially ordered them around to clean other things.
So the big moment: I tell Benjamin to go get a wipe and clean up the toilet - Grace obviously thinks that sounds like something she would like to do, so she rushes and yells, "I'll do it!" Ben runs after her and says "No Mom said me!" At this point they are literally arguing over who is going to wipe down the toilet. I go back to settle the argument and Ben is on his bed bawling, red faced with huge tears. So to settle the argument and quell the tears, I promise Grace she can vacuum and tell Ben he can do the toilet. This makes everyone happy (including me) and the tears cease. All is right with the world again, Ben gets to clean the toilet and Grace gets to vacuum - isn't life grand.
When we are done, Grace informs me that she and Ben did all my job and I hardly did anything (yeah right). Now she has become the mess nazi getting onto anyone that leaves a mess anywhere in the house. Maybe I will make them help with the house everytime, the house has been clean for 2 full hours and the kids are "exhausted of cleaning" and watching t.v. Life is good and my house is clean. What more could I ask for? Uhhh . . . well maybe my husband home, a million dollars, the ability to transport myself like on Star Trek or a private plane, and a bikini body again? That's not too much right? I guess I will settle for a clean house and exhausted children.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Comedians
So being a mom is tough sometimes, but at other times it is probably the funniest place on earth to be. The innocence of a child, unaware of social norms and proper etiquette can create some of the funniest moments ever.
Case and point, today my dad was playing the board game "Trouble" (ironic right) with the kids. About 15 minutes into the game my son decides to express his feelings about the game . . . in song. So he begins to sing, "This is booorrriiinnnggg." Then he proceeds to pull his playing pieces off the board and try and stick them on his fingers - In other words, I am so done with this game.
Or
I go to check on Ben and he is in his room dancing around singing, "Zoo Pals, the lion says roar, zoo pals, the cow says moo, zoo pals the dog says ruff." And on and on it went - Zoo pals for those of you that don't know are paper plates in the shape of animals. Ben's take on them, "They are a must have thing mom." (His words)
Or
I see Grace my sweet princess, girly girl eating a snack and chugging down a juice box that then results in a burp. To which her reply is, (rubbing her belly) "That's a sign that the tank is full." She later tells me this is from Garfield. I was laughing too hard to inform her Excuse me is the correct thing to say.
So although most days I feel like I am not sure what I am doing other than making ham and cheese sandwiches, trying to entertain (and educate I think) children who switch gears every five minutes, correcting behavior, putting in movies, cleaning up and cleaning up and cleaning up, and getting snacks and making sure no one is in dire harm, I do have moments of pure joy when my little ones suprise me with some silliness that is just normal for them and I get a huge laugh that still makes me smile when I think about them now.
Love my babies even if they do give me gray hairs and drive me crazy from time to time, or maybe lots of time? They are the sweetest and I wouldn't trade them for anything.
Case and point, today my dad was playing the board game "Trouble" (ironic right) with the kids. About 15 minutes into the game my son decides to express his feelings about the game . . . in song. So he begins to sing, "This is booorrriiinnnggg." Then he proceeds to pull his playing pieces off the board and try and stick them on his fingers - In other words, I am so done with this game.
Or
I go to check on Ben and he is in his room dancing around singing, "Zoo Pals, the lion says roar, zoo pals, the cow says moo, zoo pals the dog says ruff." And on and on it went - Zoo pals for those of you that don't know are paper plates in the shape of animals. Ben's take on them, "They are a must have thing mom." (His words)
Or
I see Grace my sweet princess, girly girl eating a snack and chugging down a juice box that then results in a burp. To which her reply is, (rubbing her belly) "That's a sign that the tank is full." She later tells me this is from Garfield. I was laughing too hard to inform her Excuse me is the correct thing to say.
So although most days I feel like I am not sure what I am doing other than making ham and cheese sandwiches, trying to entertain (and educate I think) children who switch gears every five minutes, correcting behavior, putting in movies, cleaning up and cleaning up and cleaning up, and getting snacks and making sure no one is in dire harm, I do have moments of pure joy when my little ones suprise me with some silliness that is just normal for them and I get a huge laugh that still makes me smile when I think about them now.
Love my babies even if they do give me gray hairs and drive me crazy from time to time, or maybe lots of time? They are the sweetest and I wouldn't trade them for anything.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Walking Accident
So I have a walking accident, his name is Benjamin. We have been at the beach all week long and we are playing on the beach and low and behold Ben is driving his truck gets stuck and flys face first into the sand inadvertently hitting his nose on his truck resulting in a bloody (very bloody) nose and the beginnings of a black eye. How does a kid get hurt on soft sand? I really can't even explain what happened and I saw it first hand, if there is a way to get hurt, he will find it. I can only imagine what my future doctor's visits and surely hospital visits will look like. I really can't even explain how the accidents happen. So for now I am trying to keep my walking accident upright sans scraped knees, bloody noses, any more missing teeth, broken bones, and swollen anything. Thus far I haven't been that successful, but I will press on and keep trying.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Motherhood
When I think about how I walk out motherhood everyday I sometimes find that I am disappointed in myself. There are times when I feel like I have it spot on or that I have a plan that will make it better and then there are other times when I feel like I am failing on all sides. That my boat is taking on water and I can't bail out the water fast enough. I know that every mother has feelings of failure from time to time, but that thought never helps in the moment you feel like a failure.
Nothing momentous has happened that has made me doubt whether or not I am doing a good job, but I have an overall feeling of failing with my kids that is weighing heavy on my mind that I can't seem to shake. I think it is a build up of alot of things. Yelling more than normal, not enough patience in the face of requests that would normally never even faze me. An anxiety producing thought that my daughter is 6 and already experiences deep guilt when she is in trouble. Wondering if I have played a role in making that so. Do I put too much pressure on her because she is older? The answer to that I am afraid is yes. Am I raising good kids?
I have read some great books on parenting "The Most Important Place On Earth", "Scream Free Parenting" to name a couple and their messages speak directly to my heart, to the mom I want to be for my kids and feel like I am failing to do. Have I done irreparable damage to them that can't be undone? I know the answer is no, but sometimes it feels like I have and I am not sure what to do with that thought.
I know the answer in my head, tomorrow is a day to do things differently. To make better choices, no one is perfect and your children love you. You are a good mother Peter would tell me and my children tell me they love me all the time.
All that being said, I think some heart searching and prayer is in order for me tonight. I need some quiet time to think, to take these thoughts captive and choose to be the mother I want to be, the mom I know I can be.
Nothing momentous has happened that has made me doubt whether or not I am doing a good job, but I have an overall feeling of failing with my kids that is weighing heavy on my mind that I can't seem to shake. I think it is a build up of alot of things. Yelling more than normal, not enough patience in the face of requests that would normally never even faze me. An anxiety producing thought that my daughter is 6 and already experiences deep guilt when she is in trouble. Wondering if I have played a role in making that so. Do I put too much pressure on her because she is older? The answer to that I am afraid is yes. Am I raising good kids?
I have read some great books on parenting "The Most Important Place On Earth", "Scream Free Parenting" to name a couple and their messages speak directly to my heart, to the mom I want to be for my kids and feel like I am failing to do. Have I done irreparable damage to them that can't be undone? I know the answer is no, but sometimes it feels like I have and I am not sure what to do with that thought.
I know the answer in my head, tomorrow is a day to do things differently. To make better choices, no one is perfect and your children love you. You are a good mother Peter would tell me and my children tell me they love me all the time.
All that being said, I think some heart searching and prayer is in order for me tonight. I need some quiet time to think, to take these thoughts captive and choose to be the mother I want to be, the mom I know I can be.
Friday, July 23, 2010
My Face
So I have the hugest cold sore known to man on my face thanks to some Abreva. How might you ask does medicine that is supposed to take it away make it huge, let me expound on this ridiculous medicine.
It begins with the tingle and I know that a cold sore is coming on so I decide to break down and buy some Abreva. Abreva is $16 a tube which is a ridiculous amount to pay but I am hoping it will live up to all the hype and shorten the lifespan and heal this sucker quickly, I mean how could they charge $16 if it doesn't work, wouldn't someone have blown the top off of Abreva Inc. if they were just a total sham?
So I buy it and do what it says rub it in 5 times a day (even setting my alarm for 3am as to not miss a dose), it says it is fine to get it on your healthy skin around the cold sore it won't affect it at all just make sure it is rubbed in all the way. When I wake up I have the hugest coldsore I have ever seen and my whole lip seems to be swollen. Why is this thing so huge, it wasn't like this yesterday? My dad sees it and when I tell him I used Abreva he says he has also fallen prey to the scam called Abreva and it simply spread more cold sores around the one he had. At that point I realize that even though it says that it is safe for healthy skin and the cold sore, it is a fallacy, yeah it won't hurt your skin but what it does do is take the virus from the local it is and spread it as big as the circle you rub in. Hence the cold sore on my lip that is the size of a freaking nickel. It is awful as is all cold sores. So my recomendation stay away from Abreva, just leave it alone, there is nothing that works to shorten the time that hideous thing is going to be there, you can't shorten it, but it can make it longer by messing with it.
Like everyone always says, if it is too good to be true, it is. Unfortunately it didn't follow the adage you get what you pay for, which would have been my preference.
It begins with the tingle and I know that a cold sore is coming on so I decide to break down and buy some Abreva. Abreva is $16 a tube which is a ridiculous amount to pay but I am hoping it will live up to all the hype and shorten the lifespan and heal this sucker quickly, I mean how could they charge $16 if it doesn't work, wouldn't someone have blown the top off of Abreva Inc. if they were just a total sham?
So I buy it and do what it says rub it in 5 times a day (even setting my alarm for 3am as to not miss a dose), it says it is fine to get it on your healthy skin around the cold sore it won't affect it at all just make sure it is rubbed in all the way. When I wake up I have the hugest coldsore I have ever seen and my whole lip seems to be swollen. Why is this thing so huge, it wasn't like this yesterday? My dad sees it and when I tell him I used Abreva he says he has also fallen prey to the scam called Abreva and it simply spread more cold sores around the one he had. At that point I realize that even though it says that it is safe for healthy skin and the cold sore, it is a fallacy, yeah it won't hurt your skin but what it does do is take the virus from the local it is and spread it as big as the circle you rub in. Hence the cold sore on my lip that is the size of a freaking nickel. It is awful as is all cold sores. So my recomendation stay away from Abreva, just leave it alone, there is nothing that works to shorten the time that hideous thing is going to be there, you can't shorten it, but it can make it longer by messing with it.
Like everyone always says, if it is too good to be true, it is. Unfortunately it didn't follow the adage you get what you pay for, which would have been my preference.
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