Passion and Drive

So as you can guess 6 years is a long minute and in that minute my beautiful little babies are now . . .  well . . . beautiful big babies (since they will always be my babies no matter how old they are). Grace is 14 and stunning and Ben is 12 and handsome as ever.  They bring amazing amounts of joy into my life every day in a million different ways.  When they were little it was all about the cute things they said or did and now it is real life accomplishments and still some silliness along the way.

I have seen my son become a budding artist with a creative brain that astounds me with all that it can conjure and create.  He plays the saxophone and is generally one of the most thoughtful people I know.  On the other side of the coin, he is still Ben . . . always in motion, with an activity on his brain or in his hands.  I have seen him turn a cardboard box into a desk, literally swing on his pull up bar into some type of flip, and complete a variety of "life hacks" in his room (can you say bread ties as cord keepers.) He has grown so much, but the crazy little boy that couldn't sit still for one television show still reigns supreme.

Grace has developed the most beautiful voice and has accomplished great feats in choir, from all region to just recently all state here in Georgia.  She is dedicated to her music and has even started teaching herself piano.  She loves school and her friends and strives for that A in every class (she is her mother's daughter.) She is a social butterfly and shows kindness to others that makes her friends and her family adore her.  On the other side of the coin, my little princess still drinks chocolate milk, eats cheese, grapes, and chicken exclusively and still hates all sauces of any kind.  She is studious and loves to read and when she is into something she is IN to it.  When she was little it was the Disney Princesses, now, its Riverdale.  Ask her anything and she can tell you.  There isn't a video, interview or post she hasn't seen.  She is the ultimate fan.

My babies bring amazing joy to my life and as any proud mom would, I had to take a moment to put down in writing . .  for posterity . . .  what amazing people they are.  They are gifts that God blessed me with and I cherish them so much. 

Toys and Swimming

My kiddos love to swim and they love playing with toys, mix the two and you have a match made in heaven . . . most of the time!

Sometimes toys can take a turn and become something altogether not what was intended.  If your a mom, you totally know what I'm talking about, a matchbox car becomes a missile, bracelets become handcuffs, and goggles become x-ray glasses.  A child's imagination can be a whimsical place.

We were recently at a hotel pool and being the sweet, kind parents that we are, Peter and I bought the kids little toys while we were in Walgreens for toiletries.  Grace chose a little pony and DVD combo and Ben in his infinite wisdom says, " I am getting these motorboats (wind up) to race in the pool tomorrow!" I thought, great that will give him something to play with (thinking of the ultimate combination of swimming and toys) and me time to read my book!

So the next morning we trek down to the pool and Ben tries to play with his $5 motorboats.  After about 2 or 3 minutes I witness this:

Yes, that is my little man chucking his boats across the pool and yes his sister is doing the same.  I ask him what in the world he is doing and he explains very matter of factly, as if this is what the boats were made for, "We are having a contest to find out who can throw the boats the farthest!" And then he proceeds to chuck the boat and I watch as it sails 10 feet, hits the water, and the motor pops off.

I don't want to laugh, I want to look at him and ask him, Son, what in the world are you thinking, that is not how the boats are supposed to be used? Why did I spend $5 on boats for you to throw them? Then teach a lesson on respecting your toys and give him the lecture about not getting him any other toys if you can't use these properly along with a timeout! But before my righteous indignation can get the best of me, I see his tongue out, full body throw and huge smile as it sails across the pool and I can't do anything but chuckle.

Then it dawned on me, so what if that isn't how the boats are supposed to be used? They were having a blast, laughing up a storm and having a great time.  Isn't that what toys are supposed to be for? Last time I checked toys were for bringing happiness to the kiddos we bought them for and they seemed to be doing that in a . . . non-traditional way. Now don't get me wrong, if I saw them playing football with their Nintendos I would have to call a no-go on that one, I mean you have to draw a line somewhere right! But in this instance, talking about $5 boats, there wasn't any harm in what they were doing and it was highly entertaining to them and in all honesty, me too.  Plus, when I asked him why he was throwing them he made his case that this was completely the right activity by telling me, "Mom, they don't motor good in the pool and the motors go right back on! Plus this is way more fun!"  How can you argue with the logic of a 5 year old.  No one can morph a boat into a missile better than kids!

Needless to say, they had a blast and Ben won throwing it the farthest the most times, which he was very proud of and let me know that boat throwing was now one of his special talents. My little man and his "special talents" I will add that to the list which currently contains, a handstand, locking locks, and drawing people.

Now whether or not the man trying to swim laps appreciated the boat chucking, I can't really say?

Motherhood 101

Grace, my little jellybean, got a cut right below her eye, that she gave herself with a very sharp pencil while playing around at the table with Ben during homework time. Why that is important information will become quickly apparent as my babies decide to share with Daddy the real deal with how things went down when this little incident occured.

So, we are currently in San Antonio visiting Peter (who is at a training), and we were having a nice lunch all together at Jason's Deli (totally delicious salad bar).  While sitting there with the kids, Peter mentions how dangerous it could have been because the cut is VERY CLOSE to her eye.  Grace says, "Please, when I showed mom she didn't do anything, I was pointing to it and everything! She just shooed me away!" Now the best part of this whole interaction is that she shows the "shooing" motion I use, which I would call an upside down/backwards wave. In my mind it kind of resembles what you would see a queen do while saying "off with you now." It is definitely NOT my kid's favorite, they HATE being dismissed without telling me what they came for.  They know when they get the shoo it means go away, not right now, and with Grace and Ben EVERYTHING is of crucial importantance and always needs my full immediate attention.

Now, once Grace was done throwing me under the bus, I know I have an ace in the hole regarding this little scenario. I rebut her statement with this very important (left out) fact . . . I tell her, "I was on the phone when you came in and you weren't bleeding."  BAM! That's right, take that Grace, I was on a very important phone call, what are you going to say about that! Holla! Nothing like besting your 7 year old, right!? Wrong, before I even get a chance to bask in my "win," my daughter says, "Yeah I know - with Dad, who you will be married to for the rest of your life!" At this point, between seeing my shoo live and in color courtesy or my daughter, and her calling me out on who I was actually talking to on the phone, Peter and I are dying laughing. 

Nothing like being confronted with your own stellar mothering skills. It used to be easier to get things by them, but my not so little ones are getting too smart for their own good.  I will clearly need to add possibly losing an eye to my reasons to attend to my child right away. 

Hey, anyone know when my mother of the year trophy will be arriving??

Portal Potties and Porta Potties

So today on the way home from picking up Grace, Ben decides to let us know that if he could he would have a "portal potty" right in the house and it would be like his own private little room.  Now your first thought is probably we must have been talking about bathrooms! Porta potties? Or he see a porta potty somewhere?  The answer to all of these is no.  Ben's mind is a wonder.  How he decides what he is going to say and where it comes from is a mystery to me.  None the less, he declares it would be a blue "portal potty" and it would be so cool.  Now Grace is completely disgusted by porta potties - she WILL NOT use one (and I don't blame her they are totally gross).  Before she will even respond to his suggestion, she informs Ben that its a Porta spelled p-o-r-t-a potty not portal potty and she would not ever want one of those disgusting things near her house or room. 

At this point I can't stop snickering as they discuss the validity of having a portal/porta potty in the house.  I finally gain my composure to ask Ben if his "portal potty" portals him anywhere and that is why it's called a "portal potty." He looks at me as if I have two heads and the "you can't be serious furrowed eyebrow" look (that he gets from his father) and tells me, "No mom, that's ridiculous, a portal potty doesn't even have a flusher! That's just its name." I am holding back snorting laughter at this point.  Then Grace in her quest for correctness, with BIG hand guestures whips around and reiterates her previous point more slowly since he clearly didn't catch it the first time. "Ben I already told you its PORTA P-O-R-T-A potty NOT portal." I then (through tears) ask Grace, "What is a porta?" She shrugs and in the most matter of fact way tells me it's the brand name of the potty because porta isn't really a word.

Before I could respond they were back at their debate about the pros and cons of a porta potty in the house as if they were discussing serious life altering world issues.  The both have their hands a flying, their voices raised at times, shaking their heads, and interupting each other.  It really was so funny and if you have seen either of my little bugs in action during one of these discussions you will be able to picture their vigorous defense of their stance on the issue. 

In the end there was no winner because both remained staunchly on their side of the porta potty issue.  The debate ended when Sonic slushies hit their lips.  Only tomorrow holds what the next debate will be . . . maybe whether or not we should put a gas station in our front yard so we don't have to drive so far? Whether a jungle gym would actually fit in the play room?  Who knows, but I look forward to it!

Preschool Profanity

If you are a parent of preschoolers or toddlers you know what preschool profanity is. Is it the four letter words that we grown ups are so familiar with? Nope, I am talking about those very interesting threats and name calling that can only come from a 3-6 year old's mouth.

For example, my son looked right at his sister and called (or should I say yelled) with all the fury his 3 year old little body could muster, "Diaper Butt."

Or how about the ultimate preschool profanity, the king of all the "four letter words", screamed "Fine then, I'm not your friend!" which garners the response, "Fine, you're not my friend!" The ultimate insult.

They are like those Orbit's gum commercials, the ones where they curse by calling each other names like "lint licker." They are so funny when they try to be mad. Sometimes when I watch how they act stomping around, getting all huffy I think how I sometimes feel that way on the inside and unfortunately I can't stomp around and throw a hissy fit even if I wanted too. No I'm a respectable 30 year old mom who sets an example for her kids, but I think the next time some cashier with a bad attitude crosses my path I might just pull "diaper butt" out and lay it on her, see how she likes that!

So don't cross me I might just have to tell you that you're not my friend if you don't watch out.

Milk

Can someone explain to me where all the milk goes in my house? I bought two gallons of milk, a half gallon of chocolate milk, and my neighbor gave me a gallon milk because they were going out of town and all I have left is a 1/2 gallon of 1% left? I swear someone is drinking milk in their sleep!

Is it even healthy to drink that much milk?

Cleaning and Cleaning and Cleaning

Today I had to deal with a child sobbing because of a toilet. Strange right?! Let me expound on how a toilet can cause red face alligator tears. Today I had the kids help clean up the house that literally looked like a tornado hit it. Normally I only make them clean their rooms and the playroom, but since they had taken it upon themselves to drag their stuff (mess) around the entire house, I had them help with all the rooms.

So they cleaned spills and marks off the floor, vacuumed the rug, cleaned their rooms, the playroom and then I essentially ordered them around to clean other things.

So the big moment: I tell Benjamin to go get a wipe and clean up the toilet - Grace obviously thinks that sounds like something she would like to do, so she rushes and yells, "I'll do it!" Ben runs after her and says "No Mom said me!" At this point they are literally arguing over who is going to wipe down the toilet. I go back to settle the argument and Ben is on his bed bawling, red faced with huge tears. So to settle the argument and quell the tears, I promise Grace she can vacuum and tell Ben he can do the toilet. This makes everyone happy (including me) and the tears cease. All is right with the world again, Ben gets to clean the toilet and Grace gets to vacuum - isn't life grand.

When we are done, Grace informs me that she and Ben did all my job and I hardly did anything (yeah right). Now she has become the mess nazi getting onto anyone that leaves a mess anywhere in the house. Maybe I will make them help with the house everytime, the house has been clean for 2 full hours and the kids are "exhausted of cleaning" and watching t.v. Life is good and my house is clean. What more could I ask for? Uhhh . . . well maybe my husband home, a million dollars, the ability to transport myself like on Star Trek or a private plane, and a bikini body again? That's not too much right? I guess I will settle for a clean house and exhausted children.

Comedians

So being a mom is tough sometimes, but at other times it is probably the funniest place on earth to be. The innocence of a child, unaware of social norms and proper etiquette can create some of the funniest moments ever.

Case and point, today my dad was playing the board game "Trouble" (ironic right) with the kids. About 15 minutes into the game my son decides to express his feelings about the game . . . in song. So he begins to sing, "This is booorrriiinnnggg." Then he proceeds to pull his playing pieces off the board and try and stick them on his fingers - In other words, I am so done with this game.

Or

I go to check on Ben and he is in his room dancing around singing, "Zoo Pals, the lion says roar, zoo pals, the cow says moo, zoo pals the dog says ruff." And on and on it went - Zoo pals for those of you that don't know are paper plates in the shape of animals. Ben's take on them, "They are a must have thing mom." (His words)

Or

I see Grace my sweet princess, girly girl eating a snack and chugging down a juice box that then results in a burp. To which her reply is, (rubbing her belly) "That's a sign that the tank is full." She later tells me this is from Garfield. I was laughing too hard to inform her Excuse me is the correct thing to say.

So although most days I feel like I am not sure what I am doing other than making ham and cheese sandwiches, trying to entertain (and educate I think) children who switch gears every five minutes, correcting behavior, putting in movies, cleaning up and cleaning up and cleaning up, and getting snacks and making sure no one is in dire harm, I do have moments of pure joy when my little ones suprise me with some silliness that is just normal for them and I get a huge laugh that still makes me smile when I think about them now.

Love my babies even if they do give me gray hairs and drive me crazy from time to time, or maybe lots of time? They are the sweetest and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

Motherhood

When I think about how I walk out motherhood everyday I sometimes find that I am disappointed in myself. There are times when I feel like I have it spot on or that I have a plan that will make it better and then there are other times when I feel like I am failing on all sides. That my boat is taking on water and I can't bail out the water fast enough. I know that every mother has feelings of failure from time to time, but that thought never helps in the moment you feel like a failure.

Nothing momentous has happened that has made me doubt whether or not I am doing a good job, but I have an overall feeling of failing with my kids that is weighing heavy on my mind that I can't seem to shake. I think it is a build up of alot of things. Yelling more than normal, not enough patience in the face of requests that would normally never even faze me. An anxiety producing thought that my daughter is 6 and already experiences deep guilt when she is in trouble. Wondering if I have played a role in making that so. Do I put too much pressure on her because she is older? The answer to that I am afraid is yes. Am I raising good kids?

I have read some great books on parenting "The Most Important Place On Earth", "Scream Free Parenting" to name a couple and their messages speak directly to my heart, to the mom I want to be for my kids and feel like I am failing to do. Have I done irreparable damage to them that can't be undone? I know the answer is no, but sometimes it feels like I have and I am not sure what to do with that thought.

I know the answer in my head, tomorrow is a day to do things differently. To make better choices, no one is perfect and your children love you. You are a good mother Peter would tell me and my children tell me they love me all the time.

All that being said, I think some heart searching and prayer is in order for me tonight. I need some quiet time to think, to take these thoughts captive and choose to be the mother I want to be, the mom I know I can be.

Mini Fashionista

I oficially have a mini fashionista on my hands. Grace will be 6 in a couple of weeks and I had briefly talked to her about going school shopping for uniforms while in Florida because they are easier to find than in Oklahoma. So the first thing that she asks is "what about school shoes?" I tell her we can look for those too. Then she says the magic words. . . Mom I'm going to be 6 soon and I really NEED a pair of twinkle toe sketchers. EVERYBODY in my class has them. Do you think I can get them?

How can a 5 year old NEED a pair of shoes? How does EVERYBODY have them? I thought that I had at least 5 more years before we got to the everybody has them and I need them too conversation.

So I give in, I tell her we can go look at them and see if she likes them and if they fit well. So we look, I see $40 for a pair of kids shoes and I almost gag. Now my daughter is a real girly girl, not a tennis shoe wearing type. She lives in "high heeled sandals" and "sparkly shoes" most of the time. I think she has worn her tennis shoes she has now maybe a dozen times in the whole year so I think she will try them on and realize they are TENNIS SHOES and that she will only get one pair (She is allotted $40 for school shoes) and then say no thanks I'd rather have 4 different pairs from target.

I was wrong, she tries on the brightly colored diamond studded, light up twinkle toes and is in love. Now the only size we can find is a 10 and they fit just right and I would rather get a 1/2 size bigger so she can wear them longer since they are so freaking expensive for a kids shoe (I am more of a 9.99 from target kind of shopper.) I tell her she can spend her $40 for school shoes however she wants and that we will get the 10's and look at other places for a 10 1/2. She agrees and is ear to ear smiles.

So tonight we are saying our prayers and what does Grace pray for . . . "please help me find a 10 1/2 twinkle toes."

I have a fashionista - a jewelry wearing, accessory loving, twinkle toes, almost 6 year old fashionista, Lord help me.

Teeth

I have a confession to make . . . I hate loose teeth. I think they are totally gross. I don't like wiggling them, I don't like the way the gums look when they are gone, and I don't like the way teeth look when they are growing back in, yuck. The whole process is totally disgusting to me.

Luckily my loose teeth days are over, however, my daughters are just beginning. I took her for a cleaning and they showed me that her bottom tooth was loose and going to come out soon. I cringed. I checked Grace's tooth tonight while I brushed her teeth and it is really loose. So my problem is I don't think I can pull it out, just thinking about it gives me goosebumps. I am scared to death that I am going to grab hold of it and yank and it is not going to come out and then what? Ugh, I am going to have to google this or something, any volunteers to be the tooth puller?

Chores

Chores always seem like a good idea. I give the kids chores, they do them, that is less work for me, everyone is happy. No, instead chores require alot of management when the kids are 3 and 5. Making sure they put their stickers on the right day, reminding them of their chores answering questions about how it has to be done, when it has to be done, dealing with crying when they forget and can't get the sticker. I almost would rather just clean the room myself it seems at times.

However, we are soldiering on and will continue with the chores, why, because it teaches character, responsibility, money management and a bunch of other things that are beneficial for kids. And for me it teaches patience when have to explain that brushing your teeth includes not making a giant water/toothpaste mess all over the bathroom, cleaning out under your bed is part of cleaning you room, and just telling Benjamin what to do is not helping to clean the playroom.

So I guess we all learn something that we need to work on.

Lost Toy

Why do they make children's toys that have pieces so small? My son has a pirate set that has the tiniest pieces I have ever seen and it seems to be what he wants to play with all the time. Amazingly the kid has a mind like a steel trap when it comes to how many miniscual swords should be in this set (Yet he can't remember to put his shoes away even though I have said it a thousand times). So inevitably I hear, "I can't find the little sword, I can't find the gold sword!" So I comb through the carpet to find a sword that is a 1/2 inch long so the captain and the matey can have swords, very important.

As for Grace - Barbie, need I say more to anyone with a girl that is over the age of 5. She has a fold out Barbie house that has removable toothbrushes and a tube of toothpaste. Yes, toothbrushes for a barbie (very small).

Obviously who ever created these toys do not have any children otherwise the pirate swords would be fused to the hands of the pirates and the toothbrushes would not come out of the holder. I think in the realm of tortuous toys I would rather have the loud annoying alien gun and the princess toy that only plays 2 songs than the current favorites. Ugh I am off to comb through my rug for the "small sword" they are all small, how they can be smaller than small I don't know , but it must be found, the matey can't be without his sword, why you might ask, "because how will he fight the bad guys, mom his arms don't move for punching?"

Whining

Whining . . . just the word is annoying. Peter and I have been trying to teach the kids (mainly Ben) to just use his words to ask for what he wants instead of whining about everything and every little thing requiring tears. Tonight was a small success followed by a reverting back to whining. I guess I am just being paid back for all of my whining as a kid and as a teen. In fact, when I was talking to Ben tonight I was reminded of working at Winn Dixie as a teenager. Why you might ask . . . well that is were I met my lovely husband of ten years. I was a cashier, he was the front end manager (however, he was not my manager, he was the manager over the baggers really, although I am sure he would disagree, this is the truth.) Peter used to say that I was a whiner with a poor work ethic (very suave right??) and one day presented me with a new name badge that instead of saying my name said "Whiner." What about my whining was so attractive, I don't know but it must have worked, because here we are.
Nonethless, we are tackling the whining. If you here of a woman who chose to go voluntarily deaf, it may be me. Am I whining right now about whining????

The End

So Thursday I was faced with the end of my daughter's preschool years. She officially graduated from preschool and will be going into kindergarten next year. It brought tears to my eyes and I have to admit, I am all watered up as I type right now about the fact that my baby girl is definitely no longer a baby. You know my mom always told me that once I had kids the time would fly, but I never really realized it until just recently when I looked around to see my daughter who will be 5 this year in kindergarten, my son who will be 3 this year and is Mr. Chatty Kathy.

I do have to say that she looked beautiful. She danced in a mini recital before her graduation, in her gorgeous costume with her hair all done up and looking like a perfect little fairy princess. It was so sweet to watch her sing and dance her little heart out "for Jesus" as she likes to remind me. After her recital she looked so sweet and proud as she walked across the stage to get her "diploma."

We also got her evaluation about all she can do both academically and her spiritual growth. As a mother I have to brag and say that not only has she done a great job mastering her academics, but under her spiritual growth her teacher commented that she has a great command in this area! Good Job Baby Girl!

The End . . . of Babies

So the end of school is near for my little princess. I can't believe it is already May. She is going to be leaving preschool and next year will be in kindergarten and I can't believe it. Sometimes I look at her and I have to do a double take because I am expecting someone smaller more baby like and not the big girl that is in front of me.
In fact, the other day I went to the park with a friend and I was looking around for Grace and couldn't find her, I started to get nervous, when my girlfriend said, there she is right there under the slide, and I looked quickly and said that it wasn't her . . . that little girl was too big to be mine, but low and behold it was.
She does her dance recital next week, and her graduation two weeks following. I am going to try not to cry when my baby walks in her little cap, but I am sure I will. I have recently been so taken with how big my little ones have gotten, they are growing so fast right before my eyes.
My Benjamin, my little man is growing like a weed, talking like crazy, and moving non stop. Although they are getting big, my heart sometimes still sees them toddling around in a diaper and a onesies with a juice stained mouth, and cookie on their faces, and I think it might always be that way.

Pictures of the Past

So I was looking for a picture on the computer and as I was going through them, I was reminded of how much my babies have grown. So I had to share a few of my favorites.

Cool

So this conversation happened with Grace today. She is growing up too fast. I am not ready for cool, I haven't had enough of innocent sweetness.

Grace: I love the Jonas Brothers, they are so cool.
Me: Really what exactly makes them cool?
Grace: Just look at them, they are totally cool.
Me: Why?
Grace: Mom, they are totally rocking out on stage!
Me: What about Hannah Montana?
Grace: She rocks it out too, she's cool.
Me: What about Belle?
Grace: Well, she sings good, but she doesn't rock it out, she just sings princess songs.
Me: (Dancing around) Is this rocking it out?
Grace: No you have to sing too.
Me: (Dancing and singing Twinkle, Twinkle) Now am I rocking it out?
Grace: (Laughing and smiling) uh . . . Yeah (Not very convincing)
Grace: Singing the ABC song more like a rap than the regular way) This is rocking it out, I totally rock it out mom, see?

I am not ready for rocking it out, cool, or any of that. I need a few more years to prepare, thank goodness she doesn't like boys yet, I don't think I could handle that.

The Holidays

So the Christmas holidays have come and gone and they were pretty amazing. The kids loved all their things they got. Grace got her Leapster, some games, and My Little Pony. Ben got Thomas the Train sets, Mickey Mouse Clock, and cars, cars, cars. My parents brought us into the 21st century (as my mom called it) by buying us a flat screen tv, which is pretty awesome.

We as a family (from my mom) got a Wii. I know like everyone in the world already has one, but we got one this year and Grace loves it. She is better at the bowling than I am. It is so funny to watch her get strikes and jump up and down like she just won the state lotto. She also has become a bit of a trash talker when you play with her, which is so funny to listen to. She told Pete (after a strike), "beat that big boy!" And told me, "oh yeah, that's a stripe (which is a strike)!" She's got a competetive streak in her that is for sure. I have a feeling the Wii is going to afford some good sportsmanship lessons, and that you aren't always the best everytime, which she hasn't experienced too much seeing her usual competition is her 2 year old brother. So unless we are talking about who eats more (Ben), she is usually "the best" right now.

My dad got the kids little ipod shuffles, which they love, it is hilarious to watch them walk around with their head phones "singing." It is amazing how techno savvy kids are these days. I got a cassette player when I was 7 or 8, now my babies have ipod shuffles at 4 and 2.

Looking forward to New Year's and then the year is off and running again. Soon to say hello to 2009!

Cleaning Out

So I am cleaning out the toy room to make room for the new Christmas toys that are going to be coming from Santa and grandparents. My question is how in the world do you decide what to get rid of? I mean my kids seem to play with everything that is not a toy. For example, today I have confiscated (from Ben) a can of hairspray, dishwasher packets, Sissy's dinner plate (which he was using as a hat), makeup, pens, and I am sure other stuff I just can't remember. From Grace I have gotten index cards (all scribbled on and wadded up), mommy's business cards, and makeup. Granted they do play with alot of their toys, I mean they aren't a total waste, but sometimes I wonder? I swear they get the greatest joy out of the weirdest things.