What Not To Say

So I was at a store the other day speaking to a woman in line who was commenting on how adorable my kids are (and yes they are ridiculously cute and well behaved when they want to be) and through conversation I mentioned that Peter was overseas and her response was . . . let's just say not the best (it's number one on my list). So it got me thinking of all the things that people say to me that I would rather not hear, so here is my list of the most ridiculous and irritating things I have heard in the last 11 months.

1. Aren't you afraid he isn't going to make it home?
Uhhh, yes I am! Every night I go to bed alone, each recital I attend without him, every bag of trash I have to take out because he isn't here reminds me of the fact he is in danger and I had just managed to forget about it for about 2 seconds, but thanks for reminding me again.

2. How much longer do you have?
I know this is a talking point, but really I try NOT to focus on how much longer I "have left." Ever hear the saying a watched pot never boils? The same concept applies. If I obsess about how long he has been gone and how many days are left it only makes it feel like time is inching by at a snail's pace, so please don't make me hash it out I try REALLY hard not to look at the calendar every day and calculate how many days, hours and minutes there are before he returns.

3. How long has he been gone?
Again like number 2. I really don't want to dwell on the fact that he has been gone for 10 months has missed our anniversary, 3 birthdays, graduation, first day of school, valentine's day and Christmas and all that is in between.

4. I just don't know how you do it!
I know you are trying to pay me a compliment with this statement, but really I am just one of hundreds of thousands of military wives across the country doing the same thing. We are all asked to do extraordinary things in our lives that some would deem impossible, but in truth put in the same situation you would figure out how to cope just like each wife does.

5. So do you miss him?
Duhh! Yes I miss him! What kind of question is that? If I didn't miss him I am thinking we have some serious issues. I miss him every time I get up and there is no little note to tell me how much he loves me, no one calls during the day to see how I'm doing, no one helps clean up after dinner, I am the only person who sleeps in my bed and no one asks how my day was. Yes a resounding yes I miss everything about him.

6. You only have 2 months left - that's not that long at all, it is right around the corner.
Uhhh, yeah sure two months isn't that long but the eleven months he has been gone have been. Please don't try and cheer me up by saying 2 months isn't that long. Trust me I feel like he has been gone for eleven months and the two months left still feel like an eternity to me and my kids.

Having a deployed soldier is tough. I miss him every day and our kiddos serve just as hard as he and I do missing their daddy and figuring out how to cope without a daddy around except through the computer. We are making it through one day at a time and I can't wait to have him home!

Changes

So it has been forever since I have been on this blog. Life has changed quite a bit. Peter is still deployed, yes I know it seems like he should be home - trust me I know, but it isn't too far off. He came home for R and R what seems like forever ago and we went to Disney (so much fun), I took a job teaching kindergarten and I lost 20 pounds. Grace has grown, Ben has grown and school is coming to a close in just one short month believe it or not. The Dell's are still here, we are just monumentally busy all the time it seems. But we are still alive and well in Lawton and Peter overseas. Have I said in the last 5 minutes how much I miss my husband and can't WAIT for him to come home?

The Little Things

You know, as I go through my day I am, due to the absence of my husband, constantly assaulted by the little things in life that I miss every day and those that I have taken for granted.

I miss having someone tell me they love my cooking and wonder why we ever go out to eat.

I miss someone saying in their southern drawl, "Hey Baby, I'm home."

I miss seeing big clunky Army boots and a uniform somewhere in our bedroom.

I miss having someone who gets my humor (3 and5 year olds don't).

I miss having someone get onto me about the van being on 0 miles because they are concerned with my safety.

I miss the fun of a 10 oclock run to the Orange Leaf Ice Cream Place

I miss someone to tell me that I am beautiful when I feel fat and ugly.

I miss someone to listen to me gripe about a meeting or an interaction that I have.

I miss cleaning up the bathroom of shaving cream and toothpaste and gel before I can brush my own teeth.

I miss the comfort of knowing that if I have a flat tire I have someone to call.

I miss having someone want to hold me, instead of someone wanting me to hold them.

I miss playing sequence and hand and foot at night.

I miss having someone to sit with at church.

I miss not having any of his laundry to fold.

I could go on forever it seems like, there are so many ways that I miss him. So for everyone else out there. Take the time today to appreciate the little things about the one you love. Even the things you don't think you appreciate like cleaning up after them, laundry, and the like. Because even though they seem like hassles now, if they were absent from your life, you would miss them. I know I do.

Missing My Soldier

So he's gone, he left today to meet up with his unit for a year long deployment. Surprisingly, the kids handled it really well. Grace laughed more than she cried, and well Ben, is Ben and just goes with the flow. I think we had talked about it with Grace so much that she was ready. We also opted not to take him to the airport, but instead said goodbye at home. I think that helped too.
In all honesty, I think I took it harder than anyone else. I really thought I would be able to "man up" and be the strong one for the kids, but instead they were the ones who took it in stride. I don't think I have cried so much in a really long time.
I still find myself doing little things out of habit that remind me that he isn't coming home for a while, like I took out four plates for dinner tonight until I realized there were only three of us. When I cleaned the bathroom I put all of Peter's toiletries in the corner of the counter so he can get ready in the morning until I realized he won't be getting ready in the morning at home for a long while. It's almost as if my mind doesn't want to make the shift that he's really gone for a year.
I spent most of today taking care of a sick little boy and missing my husband. Tomorrow is a new day and its time to make the most of this year, to take the opportunity to grow and improve areas of my life. However, it doesn't change the fact that his pillow still smells like him and I will continue to miss his presence until he returns home.

Missing Member

But during this time (since early October actually) Peter has been away at OBC (Officer Training) in San Antonio, Texas. It is December 1st and it feels like he left ages ago and I just miss him terribly today more than any other day thus far. Doing life everyday without him is like trying to ride a bike with no hands - doable but not as easy, the balance has to be just right or you will crash. I know what you are thinking that it comes with the military life you chose, but it still doesn't make it any easier. I know that our time apart is almost over for now (2 1/2 more weeks to go), but in truth, this seperation has served as a reminder that we no longer have control over when he is home or when he is gone and I have to be totally honest, the thought of him being gone for a year scares the s*** out of me, excuse my french. I just am not sure what it would be like to lieterally lose a year of his life intertwined daily with mine. I know that it is going to happen at some point (in a very etherial manner of speaking), and I know that we will make it through it, but I still won't like it (like any one does, right!).

And Babe, if you are reading this, I want you to know that loving you is what is right with my world. Knowing that just me alone is enough for you is a gift greater than you can imagine for my heart. As time has passed from February my heart has healed, our relationship has blossomed again, but the day I read the note you wrote me in the field saying my love for you was the most valuable in this life was the day I truly came to believe you, not just in my head but in my heart completely as well. I love you, I always have, and I always will whether we are next to each other on the couch or thousands of miles apart, my love for you is unceasing and the love I get in return from you is priceless to my heart and soul.

Okay so that was longer than I anticipated it would be, but nonetheless there it is, my heart overflow for the night.

Happy Birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY LOVE!!

Happy Birthday to the man I love. I hope that your day is special. Just a few special things about you!

1. Only your humor can get me in stitches at the most innocuous thing.
2. Your smile lights up a room.
3. Your quiet strength and caring spirit makes you more attractive to me every day.
4. Your children adore you and your ability to be a human jungle gym is amazing.
5. Only you can wear a blanket cape and make it look good!
6. Who else can I trust to be my human GPS within 6 minutes of arriving in a new place?
7. You look good in ACU's, when you leave for work I wonder, "Who is getting their butt kicked today, Hooah!?"
8. Your intelligent and the best problem solver I know.
9. You care about me and even let me be a little ridiculously crazy at times (i.e. Grace's school, the king bed, need I go on?)
10. You love me and our kids and we love you, we are a family and I wouldn't have it any other way, and that in my opinion is pretty special!

I love you my dear and I think you are an amazing man. I am so glad that we are taking this amazing journey together. I look forward to all that the next 20 years hold and can't wait to open our bed and breakfast. I love you with my whole heart!

Your Wife

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day Babe! I wanted to find a way to honor you and let you know what a great dad I think you are to our babies. So here are some of the things I think make you an extra special daddy.


1. You laugh at the kid's jokes even when they aren't funny.

2. You strive to make our daughter feel like a real princess.

3. You let Ben ride on the mower with you even though it would probably be faster and easier without him.

4. You can make even things that aren't fun like brushing teeth and going to bed an adventure.

5. You say I love you all the time.

6. The kids feel like they can talk to you because of your grace and kindness with them.

7. You always make sure to give them hugs and kisses before you leave each day.

8. You leave them little notes even though they can't read.

9. You give in to their silly wants like blue and pink cups after you have already poured milk in a red one, an entire glass of milk with cereal (which is totally unnecessary), sitting in the number two chair, or doing it over because that isn't the way Mommy does it (as Grace would say.)

10. You can be a kid with them and find the true joy in being a parent even though being a parent can be exhausting.

I see in you the heart of our Father, you have a deep desire to really know our kids, not just to raise them to be good people that make a difffernce in this world, but to really truly know them. To know their passions, their weaknesses, their loves, likes, and dislikes. To know their true heart and soul and to guide them and direct them according to that, not according to what job will make them most successful or what school will make them the smartest. I love the way that you love them. No we don't always get it perfect, shoot sometimes we can make a real mess of a situation, but I know and believe with my whole heart that our children know already at their young age and will grow to understand even more that their father loves them with the heart of the Father and that love will transcend all things both small and big. I love to watch you love our children and when I hear you call Ben "daddy's boy" or Grace your "little princess", or see you take the time to let Ben ride in the red car, or spend time with Grace when you are tired after a day's work just because she needs her dad I am so thankful that you are the father to our children. They are blessed to have you as their daddy and I am blessed to be your wife. Thank you for loving us the way only you can. You are our hero!

Love your Wife

We are Army Strong

So . . . what does the army have to do with my blog might you ask? Peter is taking a job with the army, he is swearing in as an active duty soldier on Monday. Shocked? Most people have been when we have told them. So here are the details and answers to the most commonly asked questions. 1. We don't know where we are going yet it will take 30 to 90 days to get orders to where we will be stationed. 2. No, he does not have to go to basic training. He is not enlisting in the army, but is being commissioned as an officer. Which actually takes approval through the Senate. 3. He will be going in at the rank of captain. 4. Yes, we are super excited to start this new adventure in our life!

So if you know anyone who would love to purchase our beautiful home in a great neighborhood with a great yard, it is officially for sale because we are moving!

MIA

So I know that I have been missing in action this month, but it has been CRAZY!! I have had school stuff with Grace, regional conference for Premier, and helping Peter with Life Builders. All my pistons are running and I am beat . . . but in a good way.

So here is what has been going on (I am sure you are dying to know, edge of your seat right?):
Peter and I and Life Builders is expanding, he has an office in Riverview, Brandon, and Bradenton now! We are so excited about new opportunities that God is opening up and continue to pray for his hand of blessing on the counselors and Life Builders as they go out into the community.

Peter is going on a trip to California to visit the largest Christian Counseling Center in California! They are going to give him the tour and talk with him about what they do, how they became so successful, and all those type things. He is totally excited about it. I know it is going to be really great to see a picture of what Life Builders could be in our community.

I contemplated scaling back my Premier business to go back to teaching, but after thought and regional rally, I decided not to. I do miss teaching alot, but I really do enjoy being a part of Premier and doing home shows, and I make good money with a super flexible schedule, so I am going to stick with it and press on through this year. My goal is to make designer which is 7 sponsored jewelers and 36 home shows. It is definitely doable and I am super excited to give it a try, Premier is a really awesome company and I really love my fellow jewelers and my upline is fantastic . . .so I am making strides in the right direction.

I am thinking about teaching preschool at BSBA where the kids go to school. It would be 3 mornings a week so I could feed the need to teach and have my little class without a full time classroom. I also would still get to be home when my babies are home which is the most important part of all. That was the biggest reason why I decided to continue with Premier, I get to work in the evenings and any schedule I want so I can work when Peter is home instead of them being in daycare or with a sitter.

Grace had Donuts with Dad and made him a faux wood pencil holder from an aluminum can. She was so proud of it and was dying to give it to him. When I asked her about how it was she informed me that the donuts were so awesome and tasty. Peter told me later that she ate the entire donut . . . quickly.

Peter and the kids went to Michigan were Ben was a ring bearer in a wedding, he looked so stinkin' adorable in his little suit, nothing like 5 below and 12 inches of snow to make you appreciate Florida and its sunny climate.

As for the 5K, I still don't know about it. I haven't quite started running . . . at all so my guess is I might have waited too long to get my butt in gear.

Excitement

So I am so excited!! Why I can't really pinpoint just one thing. There are definitely things going on that are totally annoying like there is something wrong with either the electricity to the A/C or the A/C itself, which I am for sure is no cheap fix, my floors have not been mopped in . . . I really have no idea when the last time was, my laundry is overflowing, my mother in law is requiring an extraordinary amount of care, and my kid's have to go to the dentist tomorrow (please let there be no cavities), but none the less, excitement.

I would have to say most of it is because Peter is going to be done with his hospital job next week (yeah), but also, I sponsored a new jeweler (yeah, Paige that's you if you didn't know that already!), My jewelry business is going well, my kids are happy, tomorrow is Halloween (which promises to be fun), and God is faithful!

I thank God for moments like now, when despite the yuck parts of my day, I still have lucidity about all the great things God is doing in our lives and in our family. I am not missing the little things and focusing only on the big pressing things. I know God has great things in store for us and I am excited!

The Bag

So my husband bought me the best red bag ever today, I have always wanted a red bag and this one is perfect. The picture does not do it justice at all. It is the perfect shade of red, not too maroon and not bright red, just the right mix. It is like patent leather so it is shiny and has silver accents. It is big enough to carry all my jewelry business stuff, but not so big I feel like I am carrying a suitcase.

I saw it at Best Buy a month ago and really liked it, but didn't get it because it was more money than I would ever spend on a bag for myself. I have to say that I was so excited to get it and when I took it with me tonight for my meeting I felt totally professional. It is a great bag and my honey is the best husband ever. I can't wait to go to training, because I know everyone is going to love my bag just as much as I do! If you're reading this babe, I love you and I love my new bag! Thanks for thinking I was worth it and making a special stop even if I did give you a hard time! You are my number one!