Portal Potties and Porta Potties

So today on the way home from picking up Grace, Ben decides to let us know that if he could he would have a "portal potty" right in the house and it would be like his own private little room.  Now your first thought is probably we must have been talking about bathrooms! Porta potties? Or he see a porta potty somewhere?  The answer to all of these is no.  Ben's mind is a wonder.  How he decides what he is going to say and where it comes from is a mystery to me.  None the less, he declares it would be a blue "portal potty" and it would be so cool.  Now Grace is completely disgusted by porta potties - she WILL NOT use one (and I don't blame her they are totally gross).  Before she will even respond to his suggestion, she informs Ben that its a Porta spelled p-o-r-t-a potty not portal potty and she would not ever want one of those disgusting things near her house or room. 

At this point I can't stop snickering as they discuss the validity of having a portal/porta potty in the house.  I finally gain my composure to ask Ben if his "portal potty" portals him anywhere and that is why it's called a "portal potty." He looks at me as if I have two heads and the "you can't be serious furrowed eyebrow" look (that he gets from his father) and tells me, "No mom, that's ridiculous, a portal potty doesn't even have a flusher! That's just its name." I am holding back snorting laughter at this point.  Then Grace in her quest for correctness, with BIG hand guestures whips around and reiterates her previous point more slowly since he clearly didn't catch it the first time. "Ben I already told you its PORTA P-O-R-T-A potty NOT portal." I then (through tears) ask Grace, "What is a porta?" She shrugs and in the most matter of fact way tells me it's the brand name of the potty because porta isn't really a word.

Before I could respond they were back at their debate about the pros and cons of a porta potty in the house as if they were discussing serious life altering world issues.  The both have their hands a flying, their voices raised at times, shaking their heads, and interupting each other.  It really was so funny and if you have seen either of my little bugs in action during one of these discussions you will be able to picture their vigorous defense of their stance on the issue. 

In the end there was no winner because both remained staunchly on their side of the porta potty issue.  The debate ended when Sonic slushies hit their lips.  Only tomorrow holds what the next debate will be . . . maybe whether or not we should put a gas station in our front yard so we don't have to drive so far? Whether a jungle gym would actually fit in the play room?  Who knows, but I look forward to it!

Cooking in the kitchen

Today we baked one of my favorite cakes . . . ever, and it was delicious.  What might you wonder is this delectable dessert?  It is . . . wait for it . . .Peanut Butter Sheet Cake!  It is so peanut buttery and delicious and sweet and just damn tasty.  Now I found this recipe on Pinterest.  If you are not a part of this wonderful website then you are not living!!!! If you have even one crafty cell in your body, like to cook, try new recipes, fashion, or literally just about anything else you can imagine, Pinterest is a MUST! Now that I am done selling this fabulous mecca of creativity and ingenious ideas, back to THE CAKE. You can find the recipe on this blog. It is just so fantastic I can't sing its praises enough. Now if you don't like peanut butter, you're just wrong and something isn't right with you on so many levels!! You probably are not going to find this recipe to your liking. But if you are peanut butter fan like me and really that is the only way to be, this one is a winner.  I thought the kiddos might like helping me make this one since it has a ton of steps and one can be on the stove while one is mixing the dry ingredients and as you can see by their little faces they had a blast being little bakers.

They pretended they were on a cooking show and went to town mixing and sifting  and tasting of course. (Sometimes I wonder if the only reason they want to help is so that they can taste all the batter.) In the end it was decided they were both "sweet geniuses" and got to eat a spoonful of frosting as their reward seeing as mom does not have $20,000 to hand out.

Here is the cooling cake . . . yes that is my turkey roasting pan it is in. The recipe calls for a jelly rolled cookie sheet (which I don't have) so this is the only pan I have that is big enough to accomodate the cake.  Hey it works and without this picture you would never know!

This cake does have a bunch of steps, but it is soooooo good, and so it is worth it.  Word to the wise, I have made this cake with buttermilk substitute (milk with a bit of vinegar), because who in world has buttermilk just lying around in the refrigerator. Not me! I did find it to be moister with the buttermilk, but the difference is not huge.  Oh, did I mention how completely delicious this cake is.  It is like cake and peanut butter balls mixed together in complete deliciousness.  Normally I am a die hard chocolate fan, but this cake is chocolate free and is so terrifically yummy. If you do rally your troops and put on a little cooking show be prepared to make it again and again.  And dare you take it out of the house to someone's house, you will be hounded for the recipe even by people you don't even know . . . this I promise!

As for me and the babies, we had a blast tasting and making decisions on is it really sweet enough??? I mean can you really have too much sugar??? They are so funny when they try to be like food network tv.  Now whether the peanut butter cake will last til tomorrow? That I cannot promise!  Yeah, its that good.

My Boy

So I am riding home in the car today after picking up my litle man and depending on the day and how it went will make the decision on whether or not I'm going to get the good stuff. Today was not a disappointment, he was ready to talk.  So I begin with my typical question . . . " How was your day, buddy?"  His reply is a short good and he gives me the run down, lunch playing, books, table toys.  Then it comes. What I have been waiting for, after the obligatory niceties he says it soooo . . .  Tyler got in trouble to day for no real reason at all, he just said a bad word that really isn't a bad word at all because Thomas didn't get to play rock, paper, scissors.  THE DIRT!  That's right, my son is giving me the gossip of the K-4 classroom.  Now don't get all judgemental on me saying I shouldn't be encouraging such behavior, but you know if you have kids you do the same thing. You want to hear about the kids that get into trouble, why it happened, what the teacher did, if your kid was involved, etc.  You may say its not nice to talk about others, but let's get real . . . we all do it and I want to know what is going on when momma ain't around.  And as always the story has to do with Thomas - Benjamin's nemisis.  This kid just can't leave him alone, and is sometimes just down right rude to Ben.  I hear his name often and today was no exception.  Tyler, his little friend decided to add things to rock paper scissors like hammer, diaper and the dreaded "bad word" BOOTY! That's right, the boys added booty to rock paper scissors. And what does booty do you might ask - according to Ben it farts which beats paper somehow???  None the less, he told me all about how Thomas said he wouldn't tell if Tyler let him play and Tyler said you can play but didn't really let him.  What was Ben's role?  Quiet observer to the wheelings and dealings of two 4 year olds trying not to get into trouble for saying the word booty!  I have to say it was quite entertaining and I couldn't stop laughing as he told me the story. I asked a bunch of questions (which he does not like) questions about what exactly happened . . .details, details beause that's what women like! Nonetheless my little man gave me the straight skinny on saying the word booty, and the ramifications of being caught saying such a vile word.  Now just in case you were wondering . . . the correct word to refer to your gluteus maximus is bottom or behind ONLY.

What Not To Say

So I was at a store the other day speaking to a woman in line who was commenting on how adorable my kids are (and yes they are ridiculously cute and well behaved when they want to be) and through conversation I mentioned that Peter was overseas and her response was . . . let's just say not the best (it's number one on my list). So it got me thinking of all the things that people say to me that I would rather not hear, so here is my list of the most ridiculous and irritating things I have heard in the last 11 months.

1. Aren't you afraid he isn't going to make it home?
Uhhh, yes I am! Every night I go to bed alone, each recital I attend without him, every bag of trash I have to take out because he isn't here reminds me of the fact he is in danger and I had just managed to forget about it for about 2 seconds, but thanks for reminding me again.

2. How much longer do you have?
I know this is a talking point, but really I try NOT to focus on how much longer I "have left." Ever hear the saying a watched pot never boils? The same concept applies. If I obsess about how long he has been gone and how many days are left it only makes it feel like time is inching by at a snail's pace, so please don't make me hash it out I try REALLY hard not to look at the calendar every day and calculate how many days, hours and minutes there are before he returns.

3. How long has he been gone?
Again like number 2. I really don't want to dwell on the fact that he has been gone for 10 months has missed our anniversary, 3 birthdays, graduation, first day of school, valentine's day and Christmas and all that is in between.

4. I just don't know how you do it!
I know you are trying to pay me a compliment with this statement, but really I am just one of hundreds of thousands of military wives across the country doing the same thing. We are all asked to do extraordinary things in our lives that some would deem impossible, but in truth put in the same situation you would figure out how to cope just like each wife does.

5. So do you miss him?
Duhh! Yes I miss him! What kind of question is that? If I didn't miss him I am thinking we have some serious issues. I miss him every time I get up and there is no little note to tell me how much he loves me, no one calls during the day to see how I'm doing, no one helps clean up after dinner, I am the only person who sleeps in my bed and no one asks how my day was. Yes a resounding yes I miss everything about him.

6. You only have 2 months left - that's not that long at all, it is right around the corner.
Uhhh, yeah sure two months isn't that long but the eleven months he has been gone have been. Please don't try and cheer me up by saying 2 months isn't that long. Trust me I feel like he has been gone for eleven months and the two months left still feel like an eternity to me and my kids.

Having a deployed soldier is tough. I miss him every day and our kiddos serve just as hard as he and I do missing their daddy and figuring out how to cope without a daddy around except through the computer. We are making it through one day at a time and I can't wait to have him home!

Changes

So it has been forever since I have been on this blog. Life has changed quite a bit. Peter is still deployed, yes I know it seems like he should be home - trust me I know, but it isn't too far off. He came home for R and R what seems like forever ago and we went to Disney (so much fun), I took a job teaching kindergarten and I lost 20 pounds. Grace has grown, Ben has grown and school is coming to a close in just one short month believe it or not. The Dell's are still here, we are just monumentally busy all the time it seems. But we are still alive and well in Lawton and Peter overseas. Have I said in the last 5 minutes how much I miss my husband and can't WAIT for him to come home?

Tears

So it finally happened. My go with the flow, everything is alright, I can pretty much go along with anything little man cried over missing his Daddy today. I hear him crying back in the playroom and he comes out and crawls up in my lap and says, "I miss daddy. I want to show him all my moves and he isn't here. I just miss him." Then he snuggled his head in my chest and cried. Break my heart into a million pieces please. We talked about Daddy and how they were going to have a boy's night at El Chico when he gets back and then he felt better. I have to say seeing tears in your babies eyes is one of the hardest parts of deployment. Although I am always amazed at how resilient kids are, 5 minutes after I let him go he was back to wreaking havoc on everything in his path as "The Sheriff" courtesy of his treasure chest pick from school today. Love my little man and the tenderness he showed today. Grace and Ben are just too sweet for words - they are amaziningly special in more ways than I can count.

Preschool Profanity

If you are a parent of preschoolers or toddlers you know what preschool profanity is. Is it the four letter words that we grown ups are so familiar with? Nope, I am talking about those very interesting threats and name calling that can only come from a 3-6 year old's mouth.

For example, my son looked right at his sister and called (or should I say yelled) with all the fury his 3 year old little body could muster, "Diaper Butt."

Or how about the ultimate preschool profanity, the king of all the "four letter words", screamed "Fine then, I'm not your friend!" which garners the response, "Fine, you're not my friend!" The ultimate insult.

They are like those Orbit's gum commercials, the ones where they curse by calling each other names like "lint licker." They are so funny when they try to be mad. Sometimes when I watch how they act stomping around, getting all huffy I think how I sometimes feel that way on the inside and unfortunately I can't stomp around and throw a hissy fit even if I wanted too. No I'm a respectable 30 year old mom who sets an example for her kids, but I think the next time some cashier with a bad attitude crosses my path I might just pull "diaper butt" out and lay it on her, see how she likes that!

So don't cross me I might just have to tell you that you're not my friend if you don't watch out.

Milk

Can someone explain to me where all the milk goes in my house? I bought two gallons of milk, a half gallon of chocolate milk, and my neighbor gave me a gallon milk because they were going out of town and all I have left is a 1/2 gallon of 1% left? I swear someone is drinking milk in their sleep!

Is it even healthy to drink that much milk?

Cleaning and Cleaning and Cleaning

Today I had to deal with a child sobbing because of a toilet. Strange right?! Let me expound on how a toilet can cause red face alligator tears. Today I had the kids help clean up the house that literally looked like a tornado hit it. Normally I only make them clean their rooms and the playroom, but since they had taken it upon themselves to drag their stuff (mess) around the entire house, I had them help with all the rooms.

So they cleaned spills and marks off the floor, vacuumed the rug, cleaned their rooms, the playroom and then I essentially ordered them around to clean other things.

So the big moment: I tell Benjamin to go get a wipe and clean up the toilet - Grace obviously thinks that sounds like something she would like to do, so she rushes and yells, "I'll do it!" Ben runs after her and says "No Mom said me!" At this point they are literally arguing over who is going to wipe down the toilet. I go back to settle the argument and Ben is on his bed bawling, red faced with huge tears. So to settle the argument and quell the tears, I promise Grace she can vacuum and tell Ben he can do the toilet. This makes everyone happy (including me) and the tears cease. All is right with the world again, Ben gets to clean the toilet and Grace gets to vacuum - isn't life grand.

When we are done, Grace informs me that she and Ben did all my job and I hardly did anything (yeah right). Now she has become the mess nazi getting onto anyone that leaves a mess anywhere in the house. Maybe I will make them help with the house everytime, the house has been clean for 2 full hours and the kids are "exhausted of cleaning" and watching t.v. Life is good and my house is clean. What more could I ask for? Uhhh . . . well maybe my husband home, a million dollars, the ability to transport myself like on Star Trek or a private plane, and a bikini body again? That's not too much right? I guess I will settle for a clean house and exhausted children.

Comedians

So being a mom is tough sometimes, but at other times it is probably the funniest place on earth to be. The innocence of a child, unaware of social norms and proper etiquette can create some of the funniest moments ever.

Case and point, today my dad was playing the board game "Trouble" (ironic right) with the kids. About 15 minutes into the game my son decides to express his feelings about the game . . . in song. So he begins to sing, "This is booorrriiinnnggg." Then he proceeds to pull his playing pieces off the board and try and stick them on his fingers - In other words, I am so done with this game.

Or

I go to check on Ben and he is in his room dancing around singing, "Zoo Pals, the lion says roar, zoo pals, the cow says moo, zoo pals the dog says ruff." And on and on it went - Zoo pals for those of you that don't know are paper plates in the shape of animals. Ben's take on them, "They are a must have thing mom." (His words)

Or

I see Grace my sweet princess, girly girl eating a snack and chugging down a juice box that then results in a burp. To which her reply is, (rubbing her belly) "That's a sign that the tank is full." She later tells me this is from Garfield. I was laughing too hard to inform her Excuse me is the correct thing to say.

So although most days I feel like I am not sure what I am doing other than making ham and cheese sandwiches, trying to entertain (and educate I think) children who switch gears every five minutes, correcting behavior, putting in movies, cleaning up and cleaning up and cleaning up, and getting snacks and making sure no one is in dire harm, I do have moments of pure joy when my little ones suprise me with some silliness that is just normal for them and I get a huge laugh that still makes me smile when I think about them now.

Love my babies even if they do give me gray hairs and drive me crazy from time to time, or maybe lots of time? They are the sweetest and I wouldn't trade them for anything.