Teeth

I have a confession to make . . . I hate loose teeth. I think they are totally gross. I don't like wiggling them, I don't like the way the gums look when they are gone, and I don't like the way teeth look when they are growing back in, yuck. The whole process is totally disgusting to me.

Luckily my loose teeth days are over, however, my daughters are just beginning. I took her for a cleaning and they showed me that her bottom tooth was loose and going to come out soon. I cringed. I checked Grace's tooth tonight while I brushed her teeth and it is really loose. So my problem is I don't think I can pull it out, just thinking about it gives me goosebumps. I am scared to death that I am going to grab hold of it and yank and it is not going to come out and then what? Ugh, I am going to have to google this or something, any volunteers to be the tooth puller?

Lost It

So what do you do when you have totally lost it with your kids. You have flown off the handle, your upset, they are upset, and you're not sure how to take a step back and look at the reality of the situation. You have gone so far over the edge that climbing back out seems harder than just staying mad?

I found out the answer today, slowly but surely you calm down, apologize, try to mend the hurt in them, explain in rational tones why you were upset, and take back the consequence you gave letting them know you are human too and you just made a huge mistake and ask for their forgiveness.

I hate it when I have to learn the hard way. Lesson learned.

T***h

Trash . . . it's like a four letter word, I hate taking it out. The words MOOOM, the trash is full and falling on the floor, I can't throw away my juice box is almost like a curse word to me. And amazingly I hear those words at least once, a lot of times twice a day. I wonder what is in that trash can?? How does it fill up so fast? I just don't get it, what is getting thrown away? I don't like taking it out of the can (usually because it is overfull and spills everywhere), I don't like taking it outside, I don't like remembering to take it to the road on Mon. and Thurs.

I had several people offer up their help if I needed it while Peter was gone, do you think it would be too much to call them to take out my trash? Probably overkill, I will have to just grin and bear it. If only Ben were older. Until then I am stuck as the trash taker outer at the Dell house ugh.

Lightbulbs

So amazingly every single lightbulb in the kitchen is blown with the exception of the one under cabinet light by the door. So I think no problem I will just take out the bulbs take them to Picerne (housing office) and get some replacements no big deal, right? WRONG!

All the under cabinet lights are flourescent lights, so I am pulling on them and looking for some type of release button to no avail. At one point I am tugging so hard I am concerned I am going to break them. In case you haven't guessed I have never changed a flourescent bulb before we have always had the ones that just screw in, the regular 40-watts.

So I give up realizing if I can't change the under cabinet ones I definitely am not going to be able to climb up to the ceiling and get out the big ones. At this point I am totally frustrated because the kitchen is dark and I have to call Picerne to schedule a maintenance appointment just to change lightbulbs (they can't come out for a week)which feels ridiculous I mean I have a college degree for crying out loud I should be able to do this.

So I am about to look it up on the world wide web and get some answers when I get a call from the hubs. I mention the problem and he says in a very matter of fact way, just twist it and it should come loose. I twist and he is right, comes right out no problem. Unfortunately that still doesn't solve the problem that I don't have a ladder and I am not tall enough to get to the ceiling, but at least I can get the ones under the cabinets changed and have some light in the kitchen.

So thanks babe! you came to my rescue even though you are 3,000 miles away!

2am Is Not My Friend

So I have yet to get to bed before 2am since Peter left. It is just impossible to unwind at night without him around it seems. I didn't realize what calm he brought until he wasn't here. So instead I find it impossible to shut down the endless list of things that need to get done, or what tomorrow holds, etc. Which in turns makes me tired in the morning making me not want to do anything on my list. It is a vicious cycle.

It is totally weird to watch movies by myself, to crawl into an empty bed, okay maybe not empty, I have been letting the kids sleep in our bed temporarily. But the house just isn't the same without Peter, which is the way it should be I guess. An integral part of our house is gone and without him there is a hole.

Ican't wait to spend lots of money on plane tickets to Germany when he comes home next year. But until then, we make the most of some really great mommy and kids time!

Chores

Chores always seem like a good idea. I give the kids chores, they do them, that is less work for me, everyone is happy. No, instead chores require alot of management when the kids are 3 and 5. Making sure they put their stickers on the right day, reminding them of their chores answering questions about how it has to be done, when it has to be done, dealing with crying when they forget and can't get the sticker. I almost would rather just clean the room myself it seems at times.

However, we are soldiering on and will continue with the chores, why, because it teaches character, responsibility, money management and a bunch of other things that are beneficial for kids. And for me it teaches patience when have to explain that brushing your teeth includes not making a giant water/toothpaste mess all over the bathroom, cleaning out under your bed is part of cleaning you room, and just telling Benjamin what to do is not helping to clean the playroom.

So I guess we all learn something that we need to work on.

Missing My Soldier

So he's gone, he left today to meet up with his unit for a year long deployment. Surprisingly, the kids handled it really well. Grace laughed more than she cried, and well Ben, is Ben and just goes with the flow. I think we had talked about it with Grace so much that she was ready. We also opted not to take him to the airport, but instead said goodbye at home. I think that helped too.
In all honesty, I think I took it harder than anyone else. I really thought I would be able to "man up" and be the strong one for the kids, but instead they were the ones who took it in stride. I don't think I have cried so much in a really long time.
I still find myself doing little things out of habit that remind me that he isn't coming home for a while, like I took out four plates for dinner tonight until I realized there were only three of us. When I cleaned the bathroom I put all of Peter's toiletries in the corner of the counter so he can get ready in the morning until I realized he won't be getting ready in the morning at home for a long while. It's almost as if my mind doesn't want to make the shift that he's really gone for a year.
I spent most of today taking care of a sick little boy and missing my husband. Tomorrow is a new day and its time to make the most of this year, to take the opportunity to grow and improve areas of my life. However, it doesn't change the fact that his pillow still smells like him and I will continue to miss his presence until he returns home.

Lost Toy

Why do they make children's toys that have pieces so small? My son has a pirate set that has the tiniest pieces I have ever seen and it seems to be what he wants to play with all the time. Amazingly the kid has a mind like a steel trap when it comes to how many miniscual swords should be in this set (Yet he can't remember to put his shoes away even though I have said it a thousand times). So inevitably I hear, "I can't find the little sword, I can't find the gold sword!" So I comb through the carpet to find a sword that is a 1/2 inch long so the captain and the matey can have swords, very important.

As for Grace - Barbie, need I say more to anyone with a girl that is over the age of 5. She has a fold out Barbie house that has removable toothbrushes and a tube of toothpaste. Yes, toothbrushes for a barbie (very small).

Obviously who ever created these toys do not have any children otherwise the pirate swords would be fused to the hands of the pirates and the toothbrushes would not come out of the holder. I think in the realm of tortuous toys I would rather have the loud annoying alien gun and the princess toy that only plays 2 songs than the current favorites. Ugh I am off to comb through my rug for the "small sword" they are all small, how they can be smaller than small I don't know , but it must be found, the matey can't be without his sword, why you might ask, "because how will he fight the bad guys, mom his arms don't move for punching?"

We Need That

So it has hit my son full force. What might you ask? Commercials. I used to think of them as innoccous little annoyances that kept me from my show, but I am now aware that are actually meant to torture me through these words, " Mommy, I need that, I am going to get that for Christmas." Now we have just encountered this problem recently since my kids have started watching Nick Jr. versus Disney (who only has commercials about other Disney shows). My son has come to a full awareness that the commercials that come on in between Nick Jr. shows are for random crap - - I mean children's toys that he now needs. Not wants, but needs. So currently on his list are Bendaroos, some foaming bubble machine for the bath, various action figures, transformers, games, and the like. And since Christmas just passed, where he got a myriad of toys he now associates all gift giving with Christmas. So I say hello to the hell of commercialization and my sons obsession with owning every single thing that crosses the tv screen including non toys at times.

New Year

With a new year comes resolutions, desires, dreams and the like. I read a devotional today that marked for me the desire of my heart this year. " Be today who you want to be tomorrow." It really resonated with me because so many times I say that I will do it tomorrow, that I will do better tomorrow, but why not today. Why not get up earlier today, exercise today, love those around me today. So my hope and my "resolution" is to be today what I shouldn't put off until tomorrow. To love my children the best that I can today. To tell my husband that I love him whenever I think about it. To be thankful for the blessings of today and not worry about tomorrow. To embrace teaching again today and not worry about it. To volunteer now, to love what I do and be true to myself. To remember it is not always about me. To be careful to listen to God's words today and to be cognizant of my effect on others around me. To care about my attitude and how I speak to others. To be the woman God created me to be, to be the woman I want to be tomorrow . . .but instead make it today.