The Year in Review and a Look Ahead

This year has been full and fast. It seems that the years fly by so fast, especially with the kids. Grace turned 4 this year and Ben turned 2. It is so strange not to have any more babies. I started the year with a "baby", Ben was only 15 months, but now he is 2 years old and talking up a storm. It is amazing what 10 months does in the life of a little one. Grace is blossoming into a beautiful little girl. She isn't a toddler anymore that is for sure. She is a social butterfly and a great big sister.

Peter and I had a big year, I started my jewelry business in Febuary which has been a great success and has been alot of fun. I have really enjoyed finding something that I can excel at and that has provided great blessings for our family. Peter left his job at St. Joseph's Hospital and started a counseling center with a business partner in October and I know that God is going to do great things through Life Builders. Peter and Robbie are challenging the way counseling centers have been done in the past and forging a new path that will impact our community with healing.

Our marriage is stronger today than ever before I believe. We had a rocky couple of months this year, but in the end God spoke words of wisdom into our hearts and years of healing was done in Peter's in one divine conversation. We are truly in pursuit of partnering together and experiencing intimacy in our marriage like never before. I so look forward to a deepening of our relationship.

Being a mom is the toughest role I have for sure. As the kids get older and more of their personality unfolds, it is a constant changing of how to deal with the every day things. Like where does a 4 year old learn to roll her eyes? Or how does Ben know how to be "huffy" with the folded arms and pouty face? They are both very funny and make me laugh all the time, sometimes when I shouldn't. Benjamin has become enamored with burping and saying excuse me, so he likes to make a "burp noise" (it sounds more like a tractor to me) and then say "excuse me" which sounds like "moo me." He also likes to say "Oh Man!" all the time before everything. Grace takes after her mom and has become a proficient hand talker. She is super expressive with her face, you probably have never experienced the excitement she can muster over something as simple as a piece of pink string she found while riding her bike (now coined her "magic ribbon"). She is doing so well in school. She is learning her letters, numbers, she loves to retell stories, and is proud to be able to write her own name. I find myself totally wiped by the end of the day more times than not, they just have so much energy. I am reading a book called, Grace Based Parenting, which I hope will help me as we get into tougher parenting years. As discipline becomes character building versus just trying to keep them safe. I now realize that disciplining a 12 month old so she doesn't stick her finger in the light socket easier than disciplining her now at 4 year olds when she just said "whatever" with more attitude than I would like or figuring out how to explain to my 2 year old that he doesn't always get what he wants despite the fit he is pitching. Anyway, I look forward to what the year brings and I am so blessed to be a mom to these two special and unique little ones.

What's to come for the Dell's:

Well this year Ben will be a ring bearer in a wedding in January. We got his a little 5 piece suit (For $30 can you believe it). We tried the suit on him and he looks SOOOOO adorable, as soon as we put it on he said, "Benny go to work" since Daddy wears dress shirt and pants to work.

I am working hard in my jewelry business to promote to builder and designer by sponsoring other jewelers and hope that I can go to Rally this year in July.

Peter is working hard to help make his business successful. We hope the counseling center will have a great presence in the community and God will direct them to the right places to spend money, resources, and time.

Grace will finish 4's and start kindergarten this year, I can't believe my baby is going to be in school not just preschool.

Ben will be eligible to be in young 3's, but we are not sure if we are going to send him just yet, we will see how the year goes.

Peter and I are both going to start exercising (I know how cliche') but I would really like to run a 5K in March, but I am not sure if I can do it.

We want to connect with people more. We feel like we have had our nose to the grindstone the past couple of years and I don't think we have come up for air, and we miss spending time with people we know, and we really would like to cultivate friendships with new people. We miss having friends to call and relationships with other couples.

Most of all we look forward to spending time together as a family. Deepening our relationships with each other, learning more about our kids and each other, and just living life together. We want our house to be a place where the fragrance of Christ is evident, that our kids call home in the truest sense, and that people feel welcome.

Looking ahead with anticipation and recalling the past with fond memories.

The Holidays

So the Christmas holidays have come and gone and they were pretty amazing. The kids loved all their things they got. Grace got her Leapster, some games, and My Little Pony. Ben got Thomas the Train sets, Mickey Mouse Clock, and cars, cars, cars. My parents brought us into the 21st century (as my mom called it) by buying us a flat screen tv, which is pretty awesome.

We as a family (from my mom) got a Wii. I know like everyone in the world already has one, but we got one this year and Grace loves it. She is better at the bowling than I am. It is so funny to watch her get strikes and jump up and down like she just won the state lotto. She also has become a bit of a trash talker when you play with her, which is so funny to listen to. She told Pete (after a strike), "beat that big boy!" And told me, "oh yeah, that's a stripe (which is a strike)!" She's got a competetive streak in her that is for sure. I have a feeling the Wii is going to afford some good sportsmanship lessons, and that you aren't always the best everytime, which she hasn't experienced too much seeing her usual competition is her 2 year old brother. So unless we are talking about who eats more (Ben), she is usually "the best" right now.

My dad got the kids little ipod shuffles, which they love, it is hilarious to watch them walk around with their head phones "singing." It is amazing how techno savvy kids are these days. I got a cassette player when I was 7 or 8, now my babies have ipod shuffles at 4 and 2.

Looking forward to New Year's and then the year is off and running again. Soon to say hello to 2009!

Cleaning Out

So I am cleaning out the toy room to make room for the new Christmas toys that are going to be coming from Santa and grandparents. My question is how in the world do you decide what to get rid of? I mean my kids seem to play with everything that is not a toy. For example, today I have confiscated (from Ben) a can of hairspray, dishwasher packets, Sissy's dinner plate (which he was using as a hat), makeup, pens, and I am sure other stuff I just can't remember. From Grace I have gotten index cards (all scribbled on and wadded up), mommy's business cards, and makeup. Granted they do play with alot of their toys, I mean they aren't a total waste, but sometimes I wonder? I swear they get the greatest joy out of the weirdest things.

Quotes

So while at the doctor's office with my sick little man I was reading this magazine and they had a page of quotes that I thought were so funny so I had to share!



" Golf wear is the disturbing thing that happens when men take an interest in fashion."



"Sign of a great housekeeper - You haven't misplaced your house once."



" Nothing says 'new mom' like a baby in a dry-clean-only sweater." (my fave!)



"Don't the tires rotate themselves every time the car is driven?"



Kids occasionally need space. Adults occasionally need martinis. Don't mess with a system that works."



"Achieving work/life balance is easy. Especailly if you like creating synergies and leveraging your core competencies in your free time." (Scarily, I know people who talk this way and I have no idea what it means.)



Hope you got a smile out of one of these!

Rosie

So we have a new addition to our family, Rosie. Who might you ask is Rosie, a dog, cat maybe? No, Rosie is Grace's "imanginary daughter." Not imaginary friend or pet, her daughter.

I was watching the kids play outside the other day and Grace was pushing the swing (with no one on it)and talking to "Rosie." When I asked her who Rosie was, she said, she's my daughter. Granted Rosie is not a traditional imaginary friend, she doesn't go with us all the time and only seems to pop up on occasion, but what I notice when Rosie is around is that Grace tends to sound alot like me. It can be very weird to hear your words come out of your daughter's mouth. Although most of it was very sweet and gentle, I did notice a couple of harsh tones and words that I recognized as something I had said to Grace before. It reminded me (again) that my kids are sponges and soak up every word I say, every smile, every bad attitude, every bit of playfulness, and every harsh tone I use.

I in no way have the expectation that I have the ability to raise my kids to be perfect angels all while perfectly dressed and never raising my voice, because I can use the "voice of reason" instead (you cannot reason with a 2 year old). I gave up on that pipe dream a while ago, but I think I do need to be more careful that I don't let my temper get the best of me on a regular basis. There is nothing more special than being a mom, and I love my kids with all my heart and I want to make sure that they know that without a shadow of a doubt.

I want there to be more I love you's than time-outs, more hugs and kisses than angry words, more laughing than crying, and more playfulness than arguments. I just have to keep reminding myself because there is nothing more devious than the monotony of everyday to steal those thoughts from me. So I guess my fight is against the everyday and finding the joy in making my 1,000 ham and cheese sandwich, saying go back to bed for the millionth time with the same calm as I did the first time, or laughing and playing while I clean up the playroom that I just cleaned 10 minutes ago (It's amazing what kids can do in 10 minutes).

So, Fight Against the Monotony!!!! This week coming up I am going to find a new way to look at the laundry or the dishes! It's all about the perspective.

Bennyisms

Okay for posterity I have to write about some of my favorite Bennyism's.

Donuts: When ever I say we are going to church his response is "Donuts?", but the best part is how he says it, "Doo-nuts?"

McDonald's: As any kid does, Ben loves McD's. When I asked him, "What are you going to get at McDonald's?" Grace said cheeseburger, Ben's response was, "Daddy's Coke." Ahhh, another coca-cola addict on my hands I fear.

Mickey Mouse: Ben refers to Mickey Mouse as "Hot Dog." Why you may ask, because the song on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse starts out as hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog, and somewhere in the process that song translated into Mickey's name. Don't ask me how, because I really don't have a clue.

Castle Party: Both of my kids LOVE Disney, and I must admit, so do I. They both adore the castle stage show called Dream along with Mickey. Right at the beginning they sing a song called "Castle Party." Grace can sing a good part of it, but Ben doesn't have all the words down quite like she does so you only get every seventh word or so, and he throws in some repeat phrases. He does have the tune down though. My favorite part of the song is how he says castle party, it comes out as, "cashew potty."

"Me": Whenever we ask a question like, "Who wants a cookie?" Ben now raises his hand and shouts, "Meee!"

Princess: Ben loves the princesses, partly because Grace does and partly I think he likes giving them his coy little smile that just melts your heart. The princesses were the only characters at Disney that little booger would take a picture with! He also likes the princess songs, and he can sing the Sleeping Beauty song, "I Know You", at least in part and it is so adorable.

Dancing: Ben has quite a little groove and loves music. Give him a good beat and he likes to shake it. He has his little signature move he does that is a cross between the chicken dance with the arm flapping and some type of little bouncing up and down move while turning around in a circle. It is quite a sight to see.

Just writing these makes me smile. He is such a unique little boy and I love him with all my heart. He's my little man!

Girl's Night

So Peter has been away this weekend for a business planning retreat, so it has been just me and the kids. Grace and I have had a "girl's night" which requires Ben to be asleep, rootbeers (in the bottle), cheese, popcorn, and cookies. Don't ask where that food combination came from, I really don't know, but that is what we have at every "girl's night." We watched a Christmas cartoon "on demand" for 4.99, which amazingly gave Grace the creeps because of the bad guy in it. I am always amazed at what she finds scary.

It was alot of fun, I always enjoy getting to hear her thoughts and reasoning on life. She is such an inquisitive and thoughtful little thing, so we always have interesting conversation. She is really getting to the age where you can talk things out and she can listen and really dialouge with you. She has her own opinions on things and wants to be heard. Having the girl's night reminded me that even at this young age she has the need to be heard, to be affirmed, and to be seen and loved.

I think it is easy for her to get "lost" sometimes because Ben is still young and is at that cute stage where he says cute things and he is just adorable, so he garners alot of attention from everyone. Granted Grace had that same thing when she was 2, but I can see in her now that she wants that same attention, that same recognition.

I believe that her love language is quality time, she likes gifts, but nothing seems to excite her more than a date night with Daddy or a Girl's night with Mommy. What I am sure about is that we need to make them more frequent, because if her love tank is full from those times, I think that her need to copy, to be first, or to win would be less. Granted, I don't expect her not to copy Ben when he is getting a laugh or to try her own thing to get laughs and praise, but I want to make sure that she understands that she is wonderful just by being her. That she has been created uniquely beautiful and special. That she doesn't have to be #1 or do the same thing as Ben because she is wonderfully made by the Father himself. And that her worth doesn't lie in how funny she is or who is done with dinner first or who can jump the highest or run the fastest, but instead in who she is as a person. Grace is a pretty amazing little girl and I know she will be a remarkable young woman, and an astounding adult. I want to make sure that she knows Mommy thinks that way about her.

The Kids

So Grace is on vacation for Thanksgiving all of this week. Sounds great right?! Well, I have come to believe that my children (when together) conspire with each other to make the biggest mess humanly possible, find as many things as they can to get into (and subsequently tear up), and use Mooommmmy! (yes they drag it out like that, and if you are a mom, you can literally hear it in your head right now can't you!) at least every other word.

I have come to this conclusion of the team approach after much research (not!, like I have time for that, I don't even get to go to the bathroom on my own half the time.) Grace and Ben alone are a joy to be around, you can play with them, you can get work done, have a conversation, essentially it is quiet and calm. That is my life 5 mornings a week while Grace is at preschool, I have Ben and it is wonderful and easy. Then they get together and for the first few hours they play with each other and have a great time making a giant mess as mentioned above, I rarely have to intervene, but about 5 o' clock, BOOM!, orange juice and toothpaste, they can't stand to be with each other, all they do is annoy each other and we move into the Moooommmmy! stage. Well with Grace being home in the morning, it brings on the latter even sooner, in essence making it last longer and I think I might just lose my mind sometimes. I mean really, how many times can you be the referee on who had the Thomas the Train toothbrush that plays music first, my count today on that issue 6 times.

Granted my kids love playing with each other, they can be soooo sweet with each other, (I mean Grace even calls him sweetheart), but I think when the schedule is changed or interupted for extended vacations like Thanksgiving and oh boy, Christmas, I don't think they know what to do with themselves and all that extra time together.

Well, they are playing like angels right now (making a mess of the playroom that I just cleaned), so I am off to folding laundry before the madness ensues, and trust me it will.

Journal

So I wrote in the last page of my journal today. My husband got me this journal last year for Christmas and I have treasured its special meaning. I went back and read the first couple of entries I made in the journal which would have been December of 2007. In the prayer I prayed that God would let us find a church that is home. I was struck by the fact that almost exactly one year ago we were looking for a church home, one that we could feel comfortable and that would "fit", we have tried a few this year and well, I am happy to say that we are a part of Element Church and it is home. We all really love it and find it to be a great place to worship God. It is exciting to think about raising our kids there and them knowing that church can be and is different where we worship. That we the people form the church and our heart is for our community.

In fact, today as we were driving by Riverview High School Grace said, "We used to go to church there!" I asked her which church she liked best and she said, "The one we go to now." When I asked her why, she told me because she likes her teachers and class there the best, that they do fun things and even though they don't go outside, it is her favorite, and it takes alot to be "going outside in Grace's book.

Greatest Story

So I have heard the song by Avalon called "The Greatest Story", but I have never really listened to the words with purpose. I heard the song the other day and I was struck by the message in the words. For those of you who haven't heard it, here's the beginning:

Some days your own resolve is strong
And other days you bend
it's two steps forward, one step back
and a stumble now and then
You wonder if you'll ever really make the difference
you've prayed that you will
Well, I know that prayer will be fulfilled 'cause
Your life woven day by day
is a new design of the glory God displays
on the canvas of creation
Through the poem of history
in the pattern of redemption
running through the tapestry
Your life in christ can be
the greatest story ever told.

My first reaction to this was, Wow, how awesome to think about my life being the greatest story ever told, to have made a difference, a difference I prayed for, a world changing difference. My life mattering to more than just me. I started to think about what big dream would be fullfilled through my life, what big thing God could do through me! It was in that moment of grandiose thought that God spoke clear and loud to me saying, your life is the greatest story ever told because you live that life for me, whether it be being a great mom to your kids or a wife that supports her husband, a good friend to those in your life, or even a good daughter and sister. These are the things that make your life great. They are what make the biggest impact, they are world changing all in themselves. Your life matters to more people than just you, every tear you dry, every scraped knee you kiss, each resume you write, or holiday you host, each person you call, or time you invest, each task you do is world changing to someone even if they don't know it in that moment I do and I see you. Don't get me wrong, God can totally use me to change the world, I might be the next first lady, you never know, but I can't only dream the big dream. I have to remember to relish the small dreams, the little things in life that make up my everyday, because it is those little things that are woven day by day and displays God's glory to those around me. So I choose to continue to dream about the big things, but relish in the "small things" that I get to do each day, because they matter.

The Week in Review

So I have totally flaked on my blog here the last few days. Let's start with the fact that the air conditioning has been broke for two weeks. Yes, you heard me two weeks. It wasn't so bad the first week because it was so cold it was actually nice, but this last week, whoa! I am a Florida girl, but 85 outside is 90 inside with no air. You know you are hot when you have to change your shirt midday because you are sweating so much. Eww, gross I know! They came today with our new system since the old one was unrepairable. An expense I would have rather done without, but Florida without air would be as bearable as licking an ashtray. I realized I could have bought 840 McDonald's value meal, or 104 pairs of shoes with that money.

On another note, I have been thinking about running a 5K in March. It sounds like a good idea in theory, but the question is can I actually get my butt in gear and do it. I refuse to run/walk it. Either it is run the whole way or forget it. Having to walk part of a 5K means you should have never signed up to begin with, that would be so lame to have to walk. So I am contemplating it, but no decision as of yet.

Grace spent the afternoon at her friends house this week and when she came home (after crying for five minutes about not being with her best friend) she proceeded to inform me of how cool everything is there. She let me know they have a TV in their van, and her mom calls them pumpkin and pea, and she has a leapster, and she . . . on and on and on. So typical, the grass is always greener on the other side.

So for those of you that don't know, I sell Premier jewelry. I really love it, it is alot of fun and I make good money. I am working hard at sponsoring some more jewelers by January. I really want to make designer by then. That means I need to sponsor 6 more jewelers personally, it seems unobtainable, but I am going to work hard at it. It would be really great to earn funds for flying from the Mahusay's. Anyway, I am calling, calling, calling. Doing an event this month to help with the sponsoring. I am praying God will bring those people that could benefit from Premier into my life and that I would seize the opportunity with them, which is half my problem I think, sometimes I miss them. I need some courage and words beyond my own self to inspire others to think about the business.

Anyway, I have a book to read, so I am out of here!

Quote

Here's a quote from Phyllis Diller for all you mom's who have a messy house like me!

" Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."

That is exactly how I feel. It never ends and seems to be the most fruitless activity I do sometimes.

Fruits

I have started reading Tender Mercy for a Mother's Soul. If you are a mother and you haven't read it, it is a must read. I am only a few pages in and I am already going back to re-read the beginning again because it so speaks to my soul. She talks about how her children are God's instruments to grow her in the fruits of the spirit. She gives examples of how God is doing that and I thought I would do the same for my own children, because it reminded me that sometimes things I think of as inconveniences might be opportunities that God is using in my life to grow me through my little ones.

Love: I definitely have learned what it means to love someone for who they are not what they can do for you, what position they are in society, how funny they are, what they look like, or even how good of a person they are. Love is a warm snuggly little body laying next to you and whispering I love you when you look a mess with morning breath. Love is hearing them run to the door calling your name when you come home. Love is being the only one who can soothe a hurt knee or spirit. Love is having your heart burst with pride when they share their toy with a friend or remember to throw away their juice box container in the trash instead of on the floor. Love is the smile that comes when you let them have a sip (or gulp) of your coke. Love is wanting to be with your children more than having a pristine home. Love is deep, heartfelt and soulful.

Joy: Joy now takes so much less than it used to. I can remember the heart brimming joy when both of my children said I love you with out me saying it first. Just knowing that they felt that in that morning and wanted to say it was a joyful moment not be forgotten. Joy is listening to my kids laughing their heads off together in their carseats for a reason that is beyond me all together. Joy is letting them help bake cupcakes just so they can eat the batter off of spoons and eat more frosting than they put on the cakes. Joy is watching my daughter dance in her recital or hearing my son say watch me as he does his latest dance move. Joy is soap smelling, frizzy headed toddlers snuggled up watching a movie we have all seen a thousand times, but still being totally engrossed in it.

Peace: Peace used to be about quiet. Peace is now more of a state of being. It is being peaceful when the chaos of everyday life ensues, knowing it is part of what being a mom is about.

Patience: I don't ever think that I would have realized the amount of patience that would be required when being a parent. Patience is letting Grace try on 3 different outfits before she chooses one. Patience is not hurrying even when you are late (because toddlers do not understand hurry). Patience is holding the treat bowl for 5 minutes while they root around to find the perfect treat. Patience is saying the same thing 10 times without yelling at them because little ones are still learning what it means to listen . . . and then remember. Patience is getting up 10 times a night with a newborn or a sick child.

Kindness: I always thought that I was a kind person, but until I had children I did not understand the full scope of kindness in its truest sense. The sense that looks out for others, that desires better for others than for yourself. It is what allows you to go without and make sure your kids have all they need . . . and sometimes want. Kindness is pushing your kids on the swing for 1/2 an hour when you have tons of laundry to do or just need to rest.

Goodness: Goodness is a hard one to define. Goodness is a heart thing. Goodness is having a heart that matches what God's desires for your children are and doing them, even if it is hard. It is teaching instead of punishing and providing a home where God is glorified.

Faithfulness: My children trust me and rely on me, they have faith in me that I am going to do what is best for them. That I am following God's desires for them. Faithfulness that I love them no matter what they do or say. Faithfulness is a trust beyond words, undefinable.

Gentleness: Gentleness cares about scraped knees about kissing them and putting on cream. It helps them hop around the house on one foot because their boo boo hurts that bad. Gentleness lets your kids fall asleep in your bed because they are scared their room. Gentleness is letting your little girl do your makeup and your hair and then say it is beautiful and how much you love it even though it will take you an hour to wash it all off and comb out the knots.

Self-control: Self control is an internal waiting. It is letting your son help you with the laundry or the dishes when it would be faster to just do it yourself. Self control is letting your kids watch the same show over and over and over and watching it with them. Self control is slowing down so your kids don't have to catch up. Self control is taking a second trip around the block even though you are hot and want to go inside. Self control is putting your son back in bed for the 10th time without yelling when you have had a busy day and just want to rest.

Being a mom is amazing. God continues to help me grow and learn from them everyday and I hope that never stops. He is using these little people called Grace and Ben to shape parts of my heart and soul to be better each day. Who knew people so little could have such a big impact.

Excitement

So I am so excited!! Why I can't really pinpoint just one thing. There are definitely things going on that are totally annoying like there is something wrong with either the electricity to the A/C or the A/C itself, which I am for sure is no cheap fix, my floors have not been mopped in . . . I really have no idea when the last time was, my laundry is overflowing, my mother in law is requiring an extraordinary amount of care, and my kid's have to go to the dentist tomorrow (please let there be no cavities), but none the less, excitement.

I would have to say most of it is because Peter is going to be done with his hospital job next week (yeah), but also, I sponsored a new jeweler (yeah, Paige that's you if you didn't know that already!), My jewelry business is going well, my kids are happy, tomorrow is Halloween (which promises to be fun), and God is faithful!

I thank God for moments like now, when despite the yuck parts of my day, I still have lucidity about all the great things God is doing in our lives and in our family. I am not missing the little things and focusing only on the big pressing things. I know God has great things in store for us and I am excited!

Schlumppy

So I am such a shlump, it was so cold this morning and I was tired so . . . I totally dropped Grace off in my giant jean skirt that is to the floor and is missing the button so I use paperclips to keep it shut and Peter's giant blue sweater that I essentially swim in. I can only imagine what people thought when I walked into school this morning. Granted I am no supermodel in the mornings generally, but this morning I think I might have looked like a walking laundry hamper just swimming in clothes, not to mention the slapping jean noise that this monstrosity of a skirt makes when you walk. It screams Little House on the Prairie, all I need is a bonnet and a basket of wildflowers to fit in. I am the poster child for that show What Not to Wear today. I could take a picture so you can see what I mean, but I won't subject you to the horror that is my wardrobe choice today.

Kids

It's Monday:

Grace got sick earlier this morning, No actual throw up (until later) only wretching, which I don't know what is worse? As a mommy, I know that you should have some immunity to throwing up, poop, and all the other gross things that go along with kids, but to tell you the truth, I still find throw up turns my stomach. Oh, I sit there in the moment and hold her hair back and tell her everything is going to be okay, Mommy's here, but I am breathing through my mouth the whole time. And now all I can think about is the trailer for that new movie (which looks hilarious by the way) Four Christmases with Vince Vaughn and Resse Witherspoon. She's holding that baby and it throws up on her and he just starts gagging and telling her she has to leave or else he's going to throw up too. I literally am laughing while I am writing this picturing the scene. If you haven't seen the trailer, you won't get what I am saying, but if you have I know you are right there with me . . . hilarious and so true. Anyway, baby girl seems to be doing much better and is watching Movie Time Monday. She's eating Cheez-It's, hopefully they don't make a reappearance later.

Element

So, it's been a while since we left the church Peter and I had attended for over 15 years . . . in truth it has been 2 years since we left. And in that time we have tried different churches looking for one that we could call home. This process has been very difficult because we had attended our previous church for so long and our roots went very deep in that church, plus we had been jaded and burnt out by church work. We tried a couple of different churches in our area for a while, but never seemed to be able to put down roots and begin growing again. However, for the first time in a long time I feel like we have found a church that we could call home. It is called Element church (http://www.iamelement.org/). The lead pastor there, Bobby Triplett, is someone that we have known for a while and actually was on staff with Peter at our former church home. He and his wife have a vision for doing church differently and Bobby is a leader that is transparent and real when he speaks. I feel, for the first time in a long time, excited to go on Sunday morning. Not because the worship is amazing, or the speaking is out of this world, but because it is a place that is real and authentic. And isn't that what church is supposed to be?

Nicholas Sparks

Okay, it is official, I am done reading Nicholas Sparks books. The last three I have read have been so depressing and I saw Nights in Rodanthe, all of them were Ughh! I read Dear John, horrible. I just finished At First Sight, severely depressing. I also read The Choice, not as bad as the others, but still not good. It seems like all the ones I have read lately end in someone dying or something horrible happening. I read books as a way to relax and escape reality and live in a world were depite all odds people who are meant for each other end up together, not where people get married and have a baby just to have the mother die in childbirth! Where are the books like the Notebook Mr. Sparks? I am going to have to find another author, when is Stephanie Meyer coming out with her next book? C'mon already!

Ghetto and Fabulous

So I have admit, I have always considered myself a little on the ghetto side at times, but aren't we all. For example, I have a bad habit of taking things off the shelf, then finding something comprable at a better price on some other aisle and I will leave my original purchase where ever I am in the store. Ham comes to mind. I once had the lady slice me some ham at the deli counter and then when I got the prepackaged meat section they had buy one get one free on Hillshire Farms ham, so I just left my deli ham there in the case and took the buy one get one ham instead Hey don't judge me, at least I left it in a cooler area instead of on a shelf, although I have done that before too.

And I won't even go into the tarp incident that I had today, let's just say it involves my neighbor's yard and giant, plastic, blue, walmart tarp with neon orange stakes attached to it, need I say more.

I also find that I don't always wear shoes to drive and pick up Grace from preschool. God forbid they ever need me to get out of the van for some reason, the ghettoness of it all will be too much . . . I don't even want to think about it, I may have to come up with some excuse like my butt is glued to the seat?!? I also don't wear shoes when I take the kids outside. My across the street neighbor is out there regularly and she and her daughter wear shoes, as well as my next door neighbor and her boys. I have on occasion looked around and realized my kids and I are not wearing shoes and Ben is regularly in just a tshirt and diaper (all he needs is bottle full of coke to complete the look). Grace is hair all a mess and wearing her latest wardrobe creation (and I use the word creation loosely) and think uhhh, wow I'm so ghetto and I am wearing off on my kids too.

So here I am in all my ghetto fabulousness raising little prodigies of shoeless Riverview existence with my dear husband (who I think lacks the ability to be ghetto in any way) and loves us all the same. Amen for a hubby who can look past permanently redneck dirty feet, a stained shirt and sticky faced kids and think wow I have the best family in the world.

Wednesday

I swear it feels like it is perpetually Wednesday! Constantly the middle of the week. Most people say they despise Mondays, but I have to disagree, for me it is Wednesday. I don't mind Monday, getting back into the groove the beginning of a fresh week, no problem, but by the time Wednesday hits it feels like I have been in the grind for days and there are still days ahead before the weekend break. I say we get rid of Wednesday altogether, or make Wednesday a day off mid week. Yes, I know I am dreaming of the unobtainable dream! Most likely people would want to add a day to the week and only have a one day weekend to "increase productivity." Gross. I will press on through Thursday with the promise of a Friday date night with my husband and haircut (hopefully)! As my hair is growing into a mullet practically, it needs to be cut badly. Ugh, but first I have to finish out my Wednesday, and there is a load of laundry calling my name.

Collision

What do you do when two dreams, two worlds collide head on. When one person's thoughts about their life completely differ from yours. When you believe one thing about your life, but someone else living the same life thinks totally different. It feels like a shock of reality. How do you reconcile two lives so irrevocably intertwined that to unravel it would be unbearable, but to leave it the same means someone is unfullfilled. How do you ovecome feelings of regret, hurt, and inferiority to be able to think clearly and make a decision not based on how you feel, but what you know. How . . . the answer, the ability to feel differently escapes me.

The Bag

So my husband bought me the best red bag ever today, I have always wanted a red bag and this one is perfect. The picture does not do it justice at all. It is the perfect shade of red, not too maroon and not bright red, just the right mix. It is like patent leather so it is shiny and has silver accents. It is big enough to carry all my jewelry business stuff, but not so big I feel like I am carrying a suitcase.

I saw it at Best Buy a month ago and really liked it, but didn't get it because it was more money than I would ever spend on a bag for myself. I have to say that I was so excited to get it and when I took it with me tonight for my meeting I felt totally professional. It is a great bag and my honey is the best husband ever. I can't wait to go to training, because I know everyone is going to love my bag just as much as I do! If you're reading this babe, I love you and I love my new bag! Thanks for thinking I was worth it and making a special stop even if I did give you a hard time! You are my number one!

Patience

Sometimes I feel like my patience is paper thin. Things that would normally never bother me become life and death. A misplaced crayon bucket becomes an international affair until it is found, a messy playroom is marked as a disaster area until it is cleaned, and a toy left on the floor is like hazardous waste that requires a 20 minute discussion on why it wasn't put away properly. I swear sometimes I think I'm crazy or getting very close to the edge. I hate when I yell at my kids and when I get to this point I generally do about ridiculous things. It totally stinks to yell and the apologize, because I know that I have already wounded them with my words. I am so thankful that they are so forgiving and full of unconditional love for their imperfect mommy.

My Baby Girl

Grace is my baby girl or as she likes to me say my number one best daughter. She was my first born and the singular love of my life as a mom for two years before Ben came along. She is kind and caring to those around her and strong in character as well. She can light up a room with her charm. She has the best real smile ever, not the bared/gritted teeth fake smile that she seems to give in posed pictures. She is happy,fun, and easy to be around. She has her Daddy's sense of humor and makes me laugh all the time with the things she says. She is smart and desperately wants to please people, disappointment just crushes her. She encompasses the definition of a sweet spirit. There is nothing sweeter than to see her face light up when you walk in the door from being gone. She is human sunshine.

She loves the Imagination Movers, Mover Rich is her favorite she tells me because she likes his scribble sticks, but I think it is because he looks most like Daddy. She loves all things Disney Princess. She owns all the princess movies, dresses, crowns, necklaces, makeup, and shoes in the whole state of Florida I think. She doesn't wear anything but dresses and sparkly shoes to school. Shorts and pants are the worse than punishment to Grace, they take some real prodding to get on when in comes to going to school. She is all about the twirl in the skirt. She is my true girlie girl. She loves to play dress up together and fix my hair and put makeup on me, although I don't think that lipgloss should be applied to every area of the face as Grace does. She loves anything sweet, chocolate, cake, brownies, donuts, you name it and she loves it. She has a great imagination and can entertain herself (and Ben) with games and stories she comes up with on her own. She is quite a character and I adore her.

When I think about her future, I know that God has something amazing for her. She is so bright and talented already, I can only imagine what her future holds. I can see people being drawn to her honesty and gentleness. Her ability to stand her ground and stand up for others in the face of something bigger than she is will win the hearts of many. I can see her faith growing and becoming stronger and sturdier as she leans on Him for bigger and bigger things. No matter what she decides to do with her life, I know that I will watch in wonder as God shapes her into the woman she was meant to be and as she makes a difference in this world by simply being my Grace.

Proud Mommy

I have had a couple of proud Mommy moments in the last couple of days with Grace.

I had Maggie's mom (Maggie is Grace's best friend) tell me how my Grace stood up to some boys on the playground in defense of her friend. I guess these little boys were chasing Maggie and trying to pull off her bandaid that was covering the incision from a recent surgery and Grace got in between the boys and Maggie and told the boys to stop because they were being mean and told Maggie to run away. They ran together and were "so fast" as Grace and Maggie explained it. I was so proud to hear that she had stood up for her friend in a selfless and courageous act to boys that I am sure were probably bigger than her. I so admire her brave spirit and am proud to say that is my little girl.

Also, today, we went over Maggie's house for a play date. Benjamin came with us (of course) and he wanted to play with everything and anything that the girl's were playing with. Maggie, not used to being around smaller children, had a harder time adjusting to Ben's presence, but Grace, my sweet girl and big sister rolled with the punches. I can't say that Benny was a complete angel and didn't annoy the girls, but she rolled with it and didn't complain or throw any fits about Ben being there. I was so proud of her ability to work things out, include Ben (or ignore him when necessary), or find another area/toy to play with, no arguing or tattling,which is rare. I am sure being at Maggie's house with her added to her ability to be so flexible, but I can say that no matter what the reason, I was so happy to see her playing with her friend and not let Benjamin annoy her. To roll with her surroundings and still be able to enjoy herself and her friend even though Benjamin might be horning in on some of her fun. She is getting to be such a big girl.

Benny, My Little Man

Benny, my little man is such a lover. He is always quick with a hug and kiss for anyone and anything. In fact, he just hugged and kissed his juice and his bike while I was writing this. Benjamin can be irritable and stubborn in one moment and hugging you in the next. His personality is magnetic, he gets more waves and "aww, he's so cute" from cashiers and strangers than any kid I know. He is gentle and sweet, yet rough and tumble at times too.

Boys are so different from girls and I am daily confused by him, by his moods, his desires, his wants. He can eat 4 packs of fruit snacks in a row and still want more. He loves Coke and declares himself a "Daddy's boy." He is literally a snacking machine. He can eat a meal and still want to walk around with a bag of cereal to munch on. I found or should I say heard him once after we moved him to a toddler bed at 2 o'clock in the morning sitting in the playroom with a bag of cereal eating. He loves to play hide and seek, but hides int he same place every time. He is scared of the dark, and currently his room too. He will sleep through the night only if he is in Mommy and Daddy's bed. He loves his sissy, but also loves to irritate the dickens out of her any chance he gets.

When I think about his future, I know that God has something great for him and I pray God's favor and blessing on his life. That he give him a sweet spirit of compassion for others and an abundance of giftings that he uses to glorify God. That he surround him with Godly friends and build within him integrity and strength. That he bless him with intelligence and the ability to be an influence in his generation. I thank God for this little boy that has stolen my heart, my little man, no matter how old he is.

Friends

I picked my daughter up from school today and she was beaming. I asked how her day was and she informed me that she found ole' Maggie (her "best friend") on the playground today. I am continually amazed after all the time they have known each other that she still so thoroughly enjoys playing with Maggie. You would think at 4 years old playing with the same person would become old news, or because they are not in the same class that they would kind of fall away and find new friends in their respective classes, but amazingly enough, that is not the case. Grace still asks daily about her, about going to her house, whether she will be there today, and it is always clear when I see her in car line if Maggie was there that day or not. Oh, she has other girls she plays with when Maggie isn't there, but her enjoyment level is different. She isn't nearly as excited, nor does she announce in the car when she has played with someone else.

When I thought about the simple easiness of their friendship it made me think about my friends. I have to say that the only person I feel like I can duplicate that type of relationship with is my husband. He truly is my best friend. He is the person I turn to for advice, for comfort, love, laughs, and time away. He is my respite after a weary day and my partner in life.

But as I thought about a woman that I would spend time with and share with I was at a loss. I have great relationship with mom and I love her with all my heart, my relationship with her is easy and strong, but the relationship is more than a friendship, it's a family bond. Who would I consider "my Maggie"? An outside friend I have forged a relationship with, as my daughter would say "boys go with boys" and girls go with girls", who would I consider "one of my girls." I have had friends like that in the past, Paige and Tracy. But today I don't speak with them as often as I used to, we don't hang out as kids and responsibilities have taken over our lives. I still talk to them, but the conversations are different, and the feel is not quite the same.

So is that type of friendship only for the young? Does being a mom and incredibly busy inhibit me from making close friendships with other women? Is it a lack of effort on my part? Does this time in my life just not lend itself to having close friends? As my kids get older and need me less, will increased free time allow me to have more friends? I am not sure of the answers, but what I know is I hope that one day I find "my Maggie" or rediscover my friendships with girls I knew during a different time in my life. I think being friends with other women is important, it allows for a common ground that you can't find with a man, even if he is your husband. The thought of fitting one of those type friendships into my daily life now is completely exhausting, my husband always says that he is a terrible friend because he knows he can't give the time a friendship needs to flourish and I have to say I feel the same. My hope is one day that I will desire and find a close friend rather than look at it as a chore as I do now.

My Title

I am starting this blog to be able to record my thoughts. I have always been an avid journal writer, but blogging vs. writing seemed like fun. I hope to record my thoughts, my struggles, my joys . . . my life as a wife, mom, and business owner. I want to preserve memories of my children, my husband, and of myself.

I chose the title of my blog because it is the philosophy my husband and I have adopted about our family. It was so easy for us to look at our lives as a book and in our book were chapters. Chapters like newlyweds, first jobs, college, first home, children . . . but after realizing what it meant to have children, to be a family, we realized that our family was much more than just chapters in our book, but instead family was the book and the chapters all revolved around it. It was a paradigm shift in our minds and one that has served us well. All our decisions run through the family filter and because of that I think we have a stronger marriage and happier children.

A little about my life thus far:
I love being the wife of Peter my husband. He is a great man and I love him with all my heart. He was the first boy I ever dated that treated my like a girl should be treated. We met when I was 16 while working at Winn-Dixie. He used to give me a hard time and I really do remember disliking him thoroughly. What you ask happened then to change my mind? All I can say is two words: Divine Intervention. Peter was the man that God had for me and he came in and changed my heart to see him as the man he had made hime to be. Two years later we were engaged and 1 more year later we were married.

We were both in school at the time, I working on my teaching degree, and Peter working on his degree. We had no money, but God provided a home for us for $100 that we loved and made our own with finances that just always seemed to be there (thank you God)! I finished school and went on to teach second grade while Peter finished up his master's degree in social work. We moved into our "starter" home in 2002 as they call it.

And a couple years later we started our family with the arrival of our dear daughter Grace in 2004. I was blessed to be able to stay home with her. She was easy to love and a joy to have in our lives. She wrapped her Daddy around her finger in a matter of moments and he remains there still today. She makes each day brighter and her smile is infectious. Then in 2006 Benjamin arrived. He is such a lover. Always ready with a hug and a kiss. He is adorable and has the most beautiful smile that you can't help but stare.

I think families are like snowflakes, no two are alike. Some can be similar but none are the same, and that is no different for the Dell's. We are unique, special and we love each other with our whole hearts and all of beings. We are a family, and family is the essence of life.