I picked my daughter up from school today and she was beaming. I asked how her day was and she informed me that she found ole' Maggie (her "best friend") on the playground today. I am continually amazed after all the time they have known each other that she still so thoroughly enjoys playing with Maggie. You would think at 4 years old playing with the same person would become old news, or because they are not in the same class that they would kind of fall away and find new friends in their respective classes, but amazingly enough, that is not the case. Grace still asks daily about her, about going to her house, whether she will be there today, and it is always clear when I see her in car line if Maggie was there that day or not. Oh, she has other girls she plays with when Maggie isn't there, but her enjoyment level is different. She isn't nearly as excited, nor does she announce in the car when she has played with someone else.
When I thought about the simple easiness of their friendship it made me think about my friends. I have to say that the only person I feel like I can duplicate that type of relationship with is my husband. He truly is my best friend. He is the person I turn to for advice, for comfort, love, laughs, and time away. He is my respite after a weary day and my partner in life.
But as I thought about a woman that I would spend time with and share with I was at a loss. I have great relationship with mom and I love her with all my heart, my relationship with her is easy and strong, but the relationship is more than a friendship, it's a family bond. Who would I consider "my Maggie"? An outside friend I have forged a relationship with, as my daughter would say "boys go with boys" and girls go with girls", who would I consider "one of my girls." I have had friends like that in the past, Paige and Tracy. But today I don't speak with them as often as I used to, we don't hang out as kids and responsibilities have taken over our lives. I still talk to them, but the conversations are different, and the feel is not quite the same.
So is that type of friendship only for the young? Does being a mom and incredibly busy inhibit me from making close friendships with other women? Is it a lack of effort on my part? Does this time in my life just not lend itself to having close friends? As my kids get older and need me less, will increased free time allow me to have more friends? I am not sure of the answers, but what I know is I hope that one day I find "my Maggie" or rediscover my friendships with girls I knew during a different time in my life. I think being friends with other women is important, it allows for a common ground that you can't find with a man, even if he is your husband. The thought of fitting one of those type friendships into my daily life now is completely exhausting, my husband always says that he is a terrible friend because he knows he can't give the time a friendship needs to flourish and I have to say I feel the same. My hope is one day that I will desire and find a close friend rather than look at it as a chore as I do now.
When I thought about the simple easiness of their friendship it made me think about my friends. I have to say that the only person I feel like I can duplicate that type of relationship with is my husband. He truly is my best friend. He is the person I turn to for advice, for comfort, love, laughs, and time away. He is my respite after a weary day and my partner in life.
But as I thought about a woman that I would spend time with and share with I was at a loss. I have great relationship with mom and I love her with all my heart, my relationship with her is easy and strong, but the relationship is more than a friendship, it's a family bond. Who would I consider "my Maggie"? An outside friend I have forged a relationship with, as my daughter would say "boys go with boys" and girls go with girls", who would I consider "one of my girls." I have had friends like that in the past, Paige and Tracy. But today I don't speak with them as often as I used to, we don't hang out as kids and responsibilities have taken over our lives. I still talk to them, but the conversations are different, and the feel is not quite the same.
So is that type of friendship only for the young? Does being a mom and incredibly busy inhibit me from making close friendships with other women? Is it a lack of effort on my part? Does this time in my life just not lend itself to having close friends? As my kids get older and need me less, will increased free time allow me to have more friends? I am not sure of the answers, but what I know is I hope that one day I find "my Maggie" or rediscover my friendships with girls I knew during a different time in my life. I think being friends with other women is important, it allows for a common ground that you can't find with a man, even if he is your husband. The thought of fitting one of those type friendships into my daily life now is completely exhausting, my husband always says that he is a terrible friend because he knows he can't give the time a friendship needs to flourish and I have to say I feel the same. My hope is one day that I will desire and find a close friend rather than look at it as a chore as I do now.
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