Fruits

I have started reading Tender Mercy for a Mother's Soul. If you are a mother and you haven't read it, it is a must read. I am only a few pages in and I am already going back to re-read the beginning again because it so speaks to my soul. She talks about how her children are God's instruments to grow her in the fruits of the spirit. She gives examples of how God is doing that and I thought I would do the same for my own children, because it reminded me that sometimes things I think of as inconveniences might be opportunities that God is using in my life to grow me through my little ones.

Love: I definitely have learned what it means to love someone for who they are not what they can do for you, what position they are in society, how funny they are, what they look like, or even how good of a person they are. Love is a warm snuggly little body laying next to you and whispering I love you when you look a mess with morning breath. Love is hearing them run to the door calling your name when you come home. Love is being the only one who can soothe a hurt knee or spirit. Love is having your heart burst with pride when they share their toy with a friend or remember to throw away their juice box container in the trash instead of on the floor. Love is the smile that comes when you let them have a sip (or gulp) of your coke. Love is wanting to be with your children more than having a pristine home. Love is deep, heartfelt and soulful.

Joy: Joy now takes so much less than it used to. I can remember the heart brimming joy when both of my children said I love you with out me saying it first. Just knowing that they felt that in that morning and wanted to say it was a joyful moment not be forgotten. Joy is listening to my kids laughing their heads off together in their carseats for a reason that is beyond me all together. Joy is letting them help bake cupcakes just so they can eat the batter off of spoons and eat more frosting than they put on the cakes. Joy is watching my daughter dance in her recital or hearing my son say watch me as he does his latest dance move. Joy is soap smelling, frizzy headed toddlers snuggled up watching a movie we have all seen a thousand times, but still being totally engrossed in it.

Peace: Peace used to be about quiet. Peace is now more of a state of being. It is being peaceful when the chaos of everyday life ensues, knowing it is part of what being a mom is about.

Patience: I don't ever think that I would have realized the amount of patience that would be required when being a parent. Patience is letting Grace try on 3 different outfits before she chooses one. Patience is not hurrying even when you are late (because toddlers do not understand hurry). Patience is holding the treat bowl for 5 minutes while they root around to find the perfect treat. Patience is saying the same thing 10 times without yelling at them because little ones are still learning what it means to listen . . . and then remember. Patience is getting up 10 times a night with a newborn or a sick child.

Kindness: I always thought that I was a kind person, but until I had children I did not understand the full scope of kindness in its truest sense. The sense that looks out for others, that desires better for others than for yourself. It is what allows you to go without and make sure your kids have all they need . . . and sometimes want. Kindness is pushing your kids on the swing for 1/2 an hour when you have tons of laundry to do or just need to rest.

Goodness: Goodness is a hard one to define. Goodness is a heart thing. Goodness is having a heart that matches what God's desires for your children are and doing them, even if it is hard. It is teaching instead of punishing and providing a home where God is glorified.

Faithfulness: My children trust me and rely on me, they have faith in me that I am going to do what is best for them. That I am following God's desires for them. Faithfulness that I love them no matter what they do or say. Faithfulness is a trust beyond words, undefinable.

Gentleness: Gentleness cares about scraped knees about kissing them and putting on cream. It helps them hop around the house on one foot because their boo boo hurts that bad. Gentleness lets your kids fall asleep in your bed because they are scared their room. Gentleness is letting your little girl do your makeup and your hair and then say it is beautiful and how much you love it even though it will take you an hour to wash it all off and comb out the knots.

Self-control: Self control is an internal waiting. It is letting your son help you with the laundry or the dishes when it would be faster to just do it yourself. Self control is letting your kids watch the same show over and over and over and watching it with them. Self control is slowing down so your kids don't have to catch up. Self control is taking a second trip around the block even though you are hot and want to go inside. Self control is putting your son back in bed for the 10th time without yelling when you have had a busy day and just want to rest.

Being a mom is amazing. God continues to help me grow and learn from them everyday and I hope that never stops. He is using these little people called Grace and Ben to shape parts of my heart and soul to be better each day. Who knew people so little could have such a big impact.