Excitement

So I am so excited!! Why I can't really pinpoint just one thing. There are definitely things going on that are totally annoying like there is something wrong with either the electricity to the A/C or the A/C itself, which I am for sure is no cheap fix, my floors have not been mopped in . . . I really have no idea when the last time was, my laundry is overflowing, my mother in law is requiring an extraordinary amount of care, and my kid's have to go to the dentist tomorrow (please let there be no cavities), but none the less, excitement.

I would have to say most of it is because Peter is going to be done with his hospital job next week (yeah), but also, I sponsored a new jeweler (yeah, Paige that's you if you didn't know that already!), My jewelry business is going well, my kids are happy, tomorrow is Halloween (which promises to be fun), and God is faithful!

I thank God for moments like now, when despite the yuck parts of my day, I still have lucidity about all the great things God is doing in our lives and in our family. I am not missing the little things and focusing only on the big pressing things. I know God has great things in store for us and I am excited!

Schlumppy

So I am such a shlump, it was so cold this morning and I was tired so . . . I totally dropped Grace off in my giant jean skirt that is to the floor and is missing the button so I use paperclips to keep it shut and Peter's giant blue sweater that I essentially swim in. I can only imagine what people thought when I walked into school this morning. Granted I am no supermodel in the mornings generally, but this morning I think I might have looked like a walking laundry hamper just swimming in clothes, not to mention the slapping jean noise that this monstrosity of a skirt makes when you walk. It screams Little House on the Prairie, all I need is a bonnet and a basket of wildflowers to fit in. I am the poster child for that show What Not to Wear today. I could take a picture so you can see what I mean, but I won't subject you to the horror that is my wardrobe choice today.

Kids

It's Monday:

Grace got sick earlier this morning, No actual throw up (until later) only wretching, which I don't know what is worse? As a mommy, I know that you should have some immunity to throwing up, poop, and all the other gross things that go along with kids, but to tell you the truth, I still find throw up turns my stomach. Oh, I sit there in the moment and hold her hair back and tell her everything is going to be okay, Mommy's here, but I am breathing through my mouth the whole time. And now all I can think about is the trailer for that new movie (which looks hilarious by the way) Four Christmases with Vince Vaughn and Resse Witherspoon. She's holding that baby and it throws up on her and he just starts gagging and telling her she has to leave or else he's going to throw up too. I literally am laughing while I am writing this picturing the scene. If you haven't seen the trailer, you won't get what I am saying, but if you have I know you are right there with me . . . hilarious and so true. Anyway, baby girl seems to be doing much better and is watching Movie Time Monday. She's eating Cheez-It's, hopefully they don't make a reappearance later.

Element

So, it's been a while since we left the church Peter and I had attended for over 15 years . . . in truth it has been 2 years since we left. And in that time we have tried different churches looking for one that we could call home. This process has been very difficult because we had attended our previous church for so long and our roots went very deep in that church, plus we had been jaded and burnt out by church work. We tried a couple of different churches in our area for a while, but never seemed to be able to put down roots and begin growing again. However, for the first time in a long time I feel like we have found a church that we could call home. It is called Element church (http://www.iamelement.org/). The lead pastor there, Bobby Triplett, is someone that we have known for a while and actually was on staff with Peter at our former church home. He and his wife have a vision for doing church differently and Bobby is a leader that is transparent and real when he speaks. I feel, for the first time in a long time, excited to go on Sunday morning. Not because the worship is amazing, or the speaking is out of this world, but because it is a place that is real and authentic. And isn't that what church is supposed to be?

Nicholas Sparks

Okay, it is official, I am done reading Nicholas Sparks books. The last three I have read have been so depressing and I saw Nights in Rodanthe, all of them were Ughh! I read Dear John, horrible. I just finished At First Sight, severely depressing. I also read The Choice, not as bad as the others, but still not good. It seems like all the ones I have read lately end in someone dying or something horrible happening. I read books as a way to relax and escape reality and live in a world were depite all odds people who are meant for each other end up together, not where people get married and have a baby just to have the mother die in childbirth! Where are the books like the Notebook Mr. Sparks? I am going to have to find another author, when is Stephanie Meyer coming out with her next book? C'mon already!

Ghetto and Fabulous

So I have admit, I have always considered myself a little on the ghetto side at times, but aren't we all. For example, I have a bad habit of taking things off the shelf, then finding something comprable at a better price on some other aisle and I will leave my original purchase where ever I am in the store. Ham comes to mind. I once had the lady slice me some ham at the deli counter and then when I got the prepackaged meat section they had buy one get one free on Hillshire Farms ham, so I just left my deli ham there in the case and took the buy one get one ham instead Hey don't judge me, at least I left it in a cooler area instead of on a shelf, although I have done that before too.

And I won't even go into the tarp incident that I had today, let's just say it involves my neighbor's yard and giant, plastic, blue, walmart tarp with neon orange stakes attached to it, need I say more.

I also find that I don't always wear shoes to drive and pick up Grace from preschool. God forbid they ever need me to get out of the van for some reason, the ghettoness of it all will be too much . . . I don't even want to think about it, I may have to come up with some excuse like my butt is glued to the seat?!? I also don't wear shoes when I take the kids outside. My across the street neighbor is out there regularly and she and her daughter wear shoes, as well as my next door neighbor and her boys. I have on occasion looked around and realized my kids and I are not wearing shoes and Ben is regularly in just a tshirt and diaper (all he needs is bottle full of coke to complete the look). Grace is hair all a mess and wearing her latest wardrobe creation (and I use the word creation loosely) and think uhhh, wow I'm so ghetto and I am wearing off on my kids too.

So here I am in all my ghetto fabulousness raising little prodigies of shoeless Riverview existence with my dear husband (who I think lacks the ability to be ghetto in any way) and loves us all the same. Amen for a hubby who can look past permanently redneck dirty feet, a stained shirt and sticky faced kids and think wow I have the best family in the world.

Wednesday

I swear it feels like it is perpetually Wednesday! Constantly the middle of the week. Most people say they despise Mondays, but I have to disagree, for me it is Wednesday. I don't mind Monday, getting back into the groove the beginning of a fresh week, no problem, but by the time Wednesday hits it feels like I have been in the grind for days and there are still days ahead before the weekend break. I say we get rid of Wednesday altogether, or make Wednesday a day off mid week. Yes, I know I am dreaming of the unobtainable dream! Most likely people would want to add a day to the week and only have a one day weekend to "increase productivity." Gross. I will press on through Thursday with the promise of a Friday date night with my husband and haircut (hopefully)! As my hair is growing into a mullet practically, it needs to be cut badly. Ugh, but first I have to finish out my Wednesday, and there is a load of laundry calling my name.

Collision

What do you do when two dreams, two worlds collide head on. When one person's thoughts about their life completely differ from yours. When you believe one thing about your life, but someone else living the same life thinks totally different. It feels like a shock of reality. How do you reconcile two lives so irrevocably intertwined that to unravel it would be unbearable, but to leave it the same means someone is unfullfilled. How do you ovecome feelings of regret, hurt, and inferiority to be able to think clearly and make a decision not based on how you feel, but what you know. How . . . the answer, the ability to feel differently escapes me.

The Bag

So my husband bought me the best red bag ever today, I have always wanted a red bag and this one is perfect. The picture does not do it justice at all. It is the perfect shade of red, not too maroon and not bright red, just the right mix. It is like patent leather so it is shiny and has silver accents. It is big enough to carry all my jewelry business stuff, but not so big I feel like I am carrying a suitcase.

I saw it at Best Buy a month ago and really liked it, but didn't get it because it was more money than I would ever spend on a bag for myself. I have to say that I was so excited to get it and when I took it with me tonight for my meeting I felt totally professional. It is a great bag and my honey is the best husband ever. I can't wait to go to training, because I know everyone is going to love my bag just as much as I do! If you're reading this babe, I love you and I love my new bag! Thanks for thinking I was worth it and making a special stop even if I did give you a hard time! You are my number one!

Patience

Sometimes I feel like my patience is paper thin. Things that would normally never bother me become life and death. A misplaced crayon bucket becomes an international affair until it is found, a messy playroom is marked as a disaster area until it is cleaned, and a toy left on the floor is like hazardous waste that requires a 20 minute discussion on why it wasn't put away properly. I swear sometimes I think I'm crazy or getting very close to the edge. I hate when I yell at my kids and when I get to this point I generally do about ridiculous things. It totally stinks to yell and the apologize, because I know that I have already wounded them with my words. I am so thankful that they are so forgiving and full of unconditional love for their imperfect mommy.

My Baby Girl

Grace is my baby girl or as she likes to me say my number one best daughter. She was my first born and the singular love of my life as a mom for two years before Ben came along. She is kind and caring to those around her and strong in character as well. She can light up a room with her charm. She has the best real smile ever, not the bared/gritted teeth fake smile that she seems to give in posed pictures. She is happy,fun, and easy to be around. She has her Daddy's sense of humor and makes me laugh all the time with the things she says. She is smart and desperately wants to please people, disappointment just crushes her. She encompasses the definition of a sweet spirit. There is nothing sweeter than to see her face light up when you walk in the door from being gone. She is human sunshine.

She loves the Imagination Movers, Mover Rich is her favorite she tells me because she likes his scribble sticks, but I think it is because he looks most like Daddy. She loves all things Disney Princess. She owns all the princess movies, dresses, crowns, necklaces, makeup, and shoes in the whole state of Florida I think. She doesn't wear anything but dresses and sparkly shoes to school. Shorts and pants are the worse than punishment to Grace, they take some real prodding to get on when in comes to going to school. She is all about the twirl in the skirt. She is my true girlie girl. She loves to play dress up together and fix my hair and put makeup on me, although I don't think that lipgloss should be applied to every area of the face as Grace does. She loves anything sweet, chocolate, cake, brownies, donuts, you name it and she loves it. She has a great imagination and can entertain herself (and Ben) with games and stories she comes up with on her own. She is quite a character and I adore her.

When I think about her future, I know that God has something amazing for her. She is so bright and talented already, I can only imagine what her future holds. I can see people being drawn to her honesty and gentleness. Her ability to stand her ground and stand up for others in the face of something bigger than she is will win the hearts of many. I can see her faith growing and becoming stronger and sturdier as she leans on Him for bigger and bigger things. No matter what she decides to do with her life, I know that I will watch in wonder as God shapes her into the woman she was meant to be and as she makes a difference in this world by simply being my Grace.

Proud Mommy

I have had a couple of proud Mommy moments in the last couple of days with Grace.

I had Maggie's mom (Maggie is Grace's best friend) tell me how my Grace stood up to some boys on the playground in defense of her friend. I guess these little boys were chasing Maggie and trying to pull off her bandaid that was covering the incision from a recent surgery and Grace got in between the boys and Maggie and told the boys to stop because they were being mean and told Maggie to run away. They ran together and were "so fast" as Grace and Maggie explained it. I was so proud to hear that she had stood up for her friend in a selfless and courageous act to boys that I am sure were probably bigger than her. I so admire her brave spirit and am proud to say that is my little girl.

Also, today, we went over Maggie's house for a play date. Benjamin came with us (of course) and he wanted to play with everything and anything that the girl's were playing with. Maggie, not used to being around smaller children, had a harder time adjusting to Ben's presence, but Grace, my sweet girl and big sister rolled with the punches. I can't say that Benny was a complete angel and didn't annoy the girls, but she rolled with it and didn't complain or throw any fits about Ben being there. I was so proud of her ability to work things out, include Ben (or ignore him when necessary), or find another area/toy to play with, no arguing or tattling,which is rare. I am sure being at Maggie's house with her added to her ability to be so flexible, but I can say that no matter what the reason, I was so happy to see her playing with her friend and not let Benjamin annoy her. To roll with her surroundings and still be able to enjoy herself and her friend even though Benjamin might be horning in on some of her fun. She is getting to be such a big girl.

Benny, My Little Man

Benny, my little man is such a lover. He is always quick with a hug and kiss for anyone and anything. In fact, he just hugged and kissed his juice and his bike while I was writing this. Benjamin can be irritable and stubborn in one moment and hugging you in the next. His personality is magnetic, he gets more waves and "aww, he's so cute" from cashiers and strangers than any kid I know. He is gentle and sweet, yet rough and tumble at times too.

Boys are so different from girls and I am daily confused by him, by his moods, his desires, his wants. He can eat 4 packs of fruit snacks in a row and still want more. He loves Coke and declares himself a "Daddy's boy." He is literally a snacking machine. He can eat a meal and still want to walk around with a bag of cereal to munch on. I found or should I say heard him once after we moved him to a toddler bed at 2 o'clock in the morning sitting in the playroom with a bag of cereal eating. He loves to play hide and seek, but hides int he same place every time. He is scared of the dark, and currently his room too. He will sleep through the night only if he is in Mommy and Daddy's bed. He loves his sissy, but also loves to irritate the dickens out of her any chance he gets.

When I think about his future, I know that God has something great for him and I pray God's favor and blessing on his life. That he give him a sweet spirit of compassion for others and an abundance of giftings that he uses to glorify God. That he surround him with Godly friends and build within him integrity and strength. That he bless him with intelligence and the ability to be an influence in his generation. I thank God for this little boy that has stolen my heart, my little man, no matter how old he is.

Friends

I picked my daughter up from school today and she was beaming. I asked how her day was and she informed me that she found ole' Maggie (her "best friend") on the playground today. I am continually amazed after all the time they have known each other that she still so thoroughly enjoys playing with Maggie. You would think at 4 years old playing with the same person would become old news, or because they are not in the same class that they would kind of fall away and find new friends in their respective classes, but amazingly enough, that is not the case. Grace still asks daily about her, about going to her house, whether she will be there today, and it is always clear when I see her in car line if Maggie was there that day or not. Oh, she has other girls she plays with when Maggie isn't there, but her enjoyment level is different. She isn't nearly as excited, nor does she announce in the car when she has played with someone else.

When I thought about the simple easiness of their friendship it made me think about my friends. I have to say that the only person I feel like I can duplicate that type of relationship with is my husband. He truly is my best friend. He is the person I turn to for advice, for comfort, love, laughs, and time away. He is my respite after a weary day and my partner in life.

But as I thought about a woman that I would spend time with and share with I was at a loss. I have great relationship with mom and I love her with all my heart, my relationship with her is easy and strong, but the relationship is more than a friendship, it's a family bond. Who would I consider "my Maggie"? An outside friend I have forged a relationship with, as my daughter would say "boys go with boys" and girls go with girls", who would I consider "one of my girls." I have had friends like that in the past, Paige and Tracy. But today I don't speak with them as often as I used to, we don't hang out as kids and responsibilities have taken over our lives. I still talk to them, but the conversations are different, and the feel is not quite the same.

So is that type of friendship only for the young? Does being a mom and incredibly busy inhibit me from making close friendships with other women? Is it a lack of effort on my part? Does this time in my life just not lend itself to having close friends? As my kids get older and need me less, will increased free time allow me to have more friends? I am not sure of the answers, but what I know is I hope that one day I find "my Maggie" or rediscover my friendships with girls I knew during a different time in my life. I think being friends with other women is important, it allows for a common ground that you can't find with a man, even if he is your husband. The thought of fitting one of those type friendships into my daily life now is completely exhausting, my husband always says that he is a terrible friend because he knows he can't give the time a friendship needs to flourish and I have to say I feel the same. My hope is one day that I will desire and find a close friend rather than look at it as a chore as I do now.

My Title

I am starting this blog to be able to record my thoughts. I have always been an avid journal writer, but blogging vs. writing seemed like fun. I hope to record my thoughts, my struggles, my joys . . . my life as a wife, mom, and business owner. I want to preserve memories of my children, my husband, and of myself.

I chose the title of my blog because it is the philosophy my husband and I have adopted about our family. It was so easy for us to look at our lives as a book and in our book were chapters. Chapters like newlyweds, first jobs, college, first home, children . . . but after realizing what it meant to have children, to be a family, we realized that our family was much more than just chapters in our book, but instead family was the book and the chapters all revolved around it. It was a paradigm shift in our minds and one that has served us well. All our decisions run through the family filter and because of that I think we have a stronger marriage and happier children.

A little about my life thus far:
I love being the wife of Peter my husband. He is a great man and I love him with all my heart. He was the first boy I ever dated that treated my like a girl should be treated. We met when I was 16 while working at Winn-Dixie. He used to give me a hard time and I really do remember disliking him thoroughly. What you ask happened then to change my mind? All I can say is two words: Divine Intervention. Peter was the man that God had for me and he came in and changed my heart to see him as the man he had made hime to be. Two years later we were engaged and 1 more year later we were married.

We were both in school at the time, I working on my teaching degree, and Peter working on his degree. We had no money, but God provided a home for us for $100 that we loved and made our own with finances that just always seemed to be there (thank you God)! I finished school and went on to teach second grade while Peter finished up his master's degree in social work. We moved into our "starter" home in 2002 as they call it.

And a couple years later we started our family with the arrival of our dear daughter Grace in 2004. I was blessed to be able to stay home with her. She was easy to love and a joy to have in our lives. She wrapped her Daddy around her finger in a matter of moments and he remains there still today. She makes each day brighter and her smile is infectious. Then in 2006 Benjamin arrived. He is such a lover. Always ready with a hug and a kiss. He is adorable and has the most beautiful smile that you can't help but stare.

I think families are like snowflakes, no two are alike. Some can be similar but none are the same, and that is no different for the Dell's. We are unique, special and we love each other with our whole hearts and all of beings. We are a family, and family is the essence of life.