Hoverboards Don't Really Hover . . .

So both of my lovelies got a hoverboard from their Nana and Papa for Christmas this year.  Now Grace and Ben took to those things like ducks to water and were zooming about within minutes.  I however took a little bit longer to get my feet wet, but I do have to say . . . I did pretty amazing riding around on it after a million couple tries.  With my new found hoverboard confidence I decided to take my skills to the streets!  No reason to hide my hoverboarding prowess behind closed doors, oh no no no, everyone should get a chance to witness a master in action. So Ben and I took those little boards outside and onto the street for a ride to the park.  Now other than it being ridiculously cold (hence the reason I brought a blanket to wrap myself in) things were going pretty well.  As I read that back I wonder to myself, why not a jacket . . . a blanket really? None the less, we are boarding and killing it.  I am traversing sticks and pine needles that have fallen in the street like a boss.  Ben and I are talking and having a good little chat when I question him about why his hoverboard is constantly making incessant beeping noises.  Grace's hoverboard that I am riding is silent and purring like a kitten.  Ben informs me that it is a warning that he is going to fast and he should slow down. I ask him, does it kick you off the board or is it just a warning.  He informs me with great confidence and even shows me that it doesn't kick him off, it just beeps.

Now I honestly cannot tell you what in the world was going through my head during this next part of the ride, but let's just say, it wasn't my brightest or finest moment,  and it definitely belonged on one of those "epic fail" YouTube Videos. . .

We are just yards from the house, I have my blanket cape flapping in the wind, I haven't fallen once, and even did some pretty sweet turn around moves and then I say with great confidence to Ben, "Grace's never beeps, I must not be going fast enough, I am going to get this baby going"  and so I take off without a thought . . . I get it going . . . FAST.  So fast that the warning beep and the immediate "safety stop" occurs all at the same time and all the momentum keeps me going even when the hoverboard comes to a screeching halt. Now granted I am wearing my blanket cape, but neglected to put shoes on so as I go flying (my cape which was in no way helpful in slowing the fall, clearly I do not have superman abilities) my feet are dragged across the road and I land on my butt and shoulder hard while the hoverboard ends up on the complete other side of the street.

Now at this moment you may be sucking your breath in wondering am I okay??? Did I break anything?? OR you may be like my son who is bent over at the waist (still on his hoverboard) sucking wind because he is laughing so hard.  Here I am a gray furry blanket heap on the side of the road and he literally rolls over on his board and says between laughing breaths "Are you okay mom?"

Uhhh . . . NO I'M NOT OKAY!! I just crashed and at 38 that is a full body experience!  I got up and hobbled my way the rest of the way (laughing to myself at the complete ridiculousness of the whole ordeal) to the house not daring to look around and see if anyone was out in their yard watching my epic crash and burn.  Ben is doing some weird breathing in and out to keep from laughing as he helps me clean up my scratched up feet.  And I can only wait to hear this story back when he tells his sister.

Now we are a couple of days later following the epic crash and I have to say . . . I . . . AM . . . SORE.  Like I got in a car accident and my neck and shoulder and ass hurt and ache. Now I'm not telling my sweet babies that because those little boogers snicker every time its brought up because I have to admit it had to have looked completely ridiculous, blanket cape and all. But for me, note to self . . . I am too old to be going def con 5 on the hoverboard, I will leave that to Grace and Ben, and of course never laugh when they fall . . . or maybe just a little.

Oh . . . and maybe shoes next time . . . insert eye roll here . . .