Tears

So it finally happened. My go with the flow, everything is alright, I can pretty much go along with anything little man cried over missing his Daddy today. I hear him crying back in the playroom and he comes out and crawls up in my lap and says, "I miss daddy. I want to show him all my moves and he isn't here. I just miss him." Then he snuggled his head in my chest and cried. Break my heart into a million pieces please. We talked about Daddy and how they were going to have a boy's night at El Chico when he gets back and then he felt better. I have to say seeing tears in your babies eyes is one of the hardest parts of deployment. Although I am always amazed at how resilient kids are, 5 minutes after I let him go he was back to wreaking havoc on everything in his path as "The Sheriff" courtesy of his treasure chest pick from school today. Love my little man and the tenderness he showed today. Grace and Ben are just too sweet for words - they are amaziningly special in more ways than I can count.

Preschool Profanity

If you are a parent of preschoolers or toddlers you know what preschool profanity is. Is it the four letter words that we grown ups are so familiar with? Nope, I am talking about those very interesting threats and name calling that can only come from a 3-6 year old's mouth.

For example, my son looked right at his sister and called (or should I say yelled) with all the fury his 3 year old little body could muster, "Diaper Butt."

Or how about the ultimate preschool profanity, the king of all the "four letter words", screamed "Fine then, I'm not your friend!" which garners the response, "Fine, you're not my friend!" The ultimate insult.

They are like those Orbit's gum commercials, the ones where they curse by calling each other names like "lint licker." They are so funny when they try to be mad. Sometimes when I watch how they act stomping around, getting all huffy I think how I sometimes feel that way on the inside and unfortunately I can't stomp around and throw a hissy fit even if I wanted too. No I'm a respectable 30 year old mom who sets an example for her kids, but I think the next time some cashier with a bad attitude crosses my path I might just pull "diaper butt" out and lay it on her, see how she likes that!

So don't cross me I might just have to tell you that you're not my friend if you don't watch out.

Milk

Can someone explain to me where all the milk goes in my house? I bought two gallons of milk, a half gallon of chocolate milk, and my neighbor gave me a gallon milk because they were going out of town and all I have left is a 1/2 gallon of 1% left? I swear someone is drinking milk in their sleep!

Is it even healthy to drink that much milk?

Cleaning and Cleaning and Cleaning

Today I had to deal with a child sobbing because of a toilet. Strange right?! Let me expound on how a toilet can cause red face alligator tears. Today I had the kids help clean up the house that literally looked like a tornado hit it. Normally I only make them clean their rooms and the playroom, but since they had taken it upon themselves to drag their stuff (mess) around the entire house, I had them help with all the rooms.

So they cleaned spills and marks off the floor, vacuumed the rug, cleaned their rooms, the playroom and then I essentially ordered them around to clean other things.

So the big moment: I tell Benjamin to go get a wipe and clean up the toilet - Grace obviously thinks that sounds like something she would like to do, so she rushes and yells, "I'll do it!" Ben runs after her and says "No Mom said me!" At this point they are literally arguing over who is going to wipe down the toilet. I go back to settle the argument and Ben is on his bed bawling, red faced with huge tears. So to settle the argument and quell the tears, I promise Grace she can vacuum and tell Ben he can do the toilet. This makes everyone happy (including me) and the tears cease. All is right with the world again, Ben gets to clean the toilet and Grace gets to vacuum - isn't life grand.

When we are done, Grace informs me that she and Ben did all my job and I hardly did anything (yeah right). Now she has become the mess nazi getting onto anyone that leaves a mess anywhere in the house. Maybe I will make them help with the house everytime, the house has been clean for 2 full hours and the kids are "exhausted of cleaning" and watching t.v. Life is good and my house is clean. What more could I ask for? Uhhh . . . well maybe my husband home, a million dollars, the ability to transport myself like on Star Trek or a private plane, and a bikini body again? That's not too much right? I guess I will settle for a clean house and exhausted children.

Comedians

So being a mom is tough sometimes, but at other times it is probably the funniest place on earth to be. The innocence of a child, unaware of social norms and proper etiquette can create some of the funniest moments ever.

Case and point, today my dad was playing the board game "Trouble" (ironic right) with the kids. About 15 minutes into the game my son decides to express his feelings about the game . . . in song. So he begins to sing, "This is booorrriiinnnggg." Then he proceeds to pull his playing pieces off the board and try and stick them on his fingers - In other words, I am so done with this game.

Or

I go to check on Ben and he is in his room dancing around singing, "Zoo Pals, the lion says roar, zoo pals, the cow says moo, zoo pals the dog says ruff." And on and on it went - Zoo pals for those of you that don't know are paper plates in the shape of animals. Ben's take on them, "They are a must have thing mom." (His words)

Or

I see Grace my sweet princess, girly girl eating a snack and chugging down a juice box that then results in a burp. To which her reply is, (rubbing her belly) "That's a sign that the tank is full." She later tells me this is from Garfield. I was laughing too hard to inform her Excuse me is the correct thing to say.

So although most days I feel like I am not sure what I am doing other than making ham and cheese sandwiches, trying to entertain (and educate I think) children who switch gears every five minutes, correcting behavior, putting in movies, cleaning up and cleaning up and cleaning up, and getting snacks and making sure no one is in dire harm, I do have moments of pure joy when my little ones suprise me with some silliness that is just normal for them and I get a huge laugh that still makes me smile when I think about them now.

Love my babies even if they do give me gray hairs and drive me crazy from time to time, or maybe lots of time? They are the sweetest and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

Walking Accident

So I have a walking accident, his name is Benjamin. We have been at the beach all week long and we are playing on the beach and low and behold Ben is driving his truck gets stuck and flys face first into the sand inadvertently hitting his nose on his truck resulting in a bloody (very bloody) nose and the beginnings of a black eye. How does a kid get hurt on soft sand? I really can't even explain what happened and I saw it first hand, if there is a way to get hurt, he will find it. I can only imagine what my future doctor's visits and surely hospital visits will look like. I really can't even explain how the accidents happen. So for now I am trying to keep my walking accident upright sans scraped knees, bloody noses, any more missing teeth, broken bones, and swollen anything. Thus far I haven't been that successful, but I will press on and keep trying.

Motherhood

When I think about how I walk out motherhood everyday I sometimes find that I am disappointed in myself. There are times when I feel like I have it spot on or that I have a plan that will make it better and then there are other times when I feel like I am failing on all sides. That my boat is taking on water and I can't bail out the water fast enough. I know that every mother has feelings of failure from time to time, but that thought never helps in the moment you feel like a failure.

Nothing momentous has happened that has made me doubt whether or not I am doing a good job, but I have an overall feeling of failing with my kids that is weighing heavy on my mind that I can't seem to shake. I think it is a build up of alot of things. Yelling more than normal, not enough patience in the face of requests that would normally never even faze me. An anxiety producing thought that my daughter is 6 and already experiences deep guilt when she is in trouble. Wondering if I have played a role in making that so. Do I put too much pressure on her because she is older? The answer to that I am afraid is yes. Am I raising good kids?

I have read some great books on parenting "The Most Important Place On Earth", "Scream Free Parenting" to name a couple and their messages speak directly to my heart, to the mom I want to be for my kids and feel like I am failing to do. Have I done irreparable damage to them that can't be undone? I know the answer is no, but sometimes it feels like I have and I am not sure what to do with that thought.

I know the answer in my head, tomorrow is a day to do things differently. To make better choices, no one is perfect and your children love you. You are a good mother Peter would tell me and my children tell me they love me all the time.

All that being said, I think some heart searching and prayer is in order for me tonight. I need some quiet time to think, to take these thoughts captive and choose to be the mother I want to be, the mom I know I can be.

My Face

So I have the hugest cold sore known to man on my face thanks to some Abreva. How might you ask does medicine that is supposed to take it away make it huge, let me expound on this ridiculous medicine.

It begins with the tingle and I know that a cold sore is coming on so I decide to break down and buy some Abreva. Abreva is $16 a tube which is a ridiculous amount to pay but I am hoping it will live up to all the hype and shorten the lifespan and heal this sucker quickly, I mean how could they charge $16 if it doesn't work, wouldn't someone have blown the top off of Abreva Inc. if they were just a total sham?

So I buy it and do what it says rub it in 5 times a day (even setting my alarm for 3am as to not miss a dose), it says it is fine to get it on your healthy skin around the cold sore it won't affect it at all just make sure it is rubbed in all the way. When I wake up I have the hugest coldsore I have ever seen and my whole lip seems to be swollen. Why is this thing so huge, it wasn't like this yesterday? My dad sees it and when I tell him I used Abreva he says he has also fallen prey to the scam called Abreva and it simply spread more cold sores around the one he had. At that point I realize that even though it says that it is safe for healthy skin and the cold sore, it is a fallacy, yeah it won't hurt your skin but what it does do is take the virus from the local it is and spread it as big as the circle you rub in. Hence the cold sore on my lip that is the size of a freaking nickel. It is awful as is all cold sores. So my recomendation stay away from Abreva, just leave it alone, there is nothing that works to shorten the time that hideous thing is going to be there, you can't shorten it, but it can make it longer by messing with it.

Like everyone always says, if it is too good to be true, it is. Unfortunately it didn't follow the adage you get what you pay for, which would have been my preference.

School Supplies

So I started to get ready for school, you know uniforms, school supplies all the necessities. I am currently in for $300 for uniforms - why such hideous clothes made of awful fabrics are so expensive I am not sure. But then I looked at the at the school supply list they just sent out. Between the two of them I have to buy 6 boxes of crayons. Can someone explain why Grace needs 4 boxes of 24 count crayons? Last year the list required her to bring in two boxes of crayons and when the school year ended I got one box of crayons back unopened.

Then I got to Ben's list. For him I have to send in regular school supplies, glue, crayons, markers and then at the bottom for the lunchroom for the "resource room" it says he also needs to send in paper towels, napkins, cardstock, baby wipes, clorox wipes, tissues and cups. So normally I wouldn't think anything about sending in what they ask. However, last year I got a note home saying that I needed to make sure I was sending a napkin in Grace's lunch because the napkins in the lunchroom were only for those that buy lunch. I wonder if these are the same napkins I am sending in at the beginning of the year?

What isn't on Ben's list - pencils and erasers?

School supply lists are an enigma. I just buy it and send it in, I bet if you asked the teachers they couldn't explain it either.

Mini Fashionista

I oficially have a mini fashionista on my hands. Grace will be 6 in a couple of weeks and I had briefly talked to her about going school shopping for uniforms while in Florida because they are easier to find than in Oklahoma. So the first thing that she asks is "what about school shoes?" I tell her we can look for those too. Then she says the magic words. . . Mom I'm going to be 6 soon and I really NEED a pair of twinkle toe sketchers. EVERYBODY in my class has them. Do you think I can get them?

How can a 5 year old NEED a pair of shoes? How does EVERYBODY have them? I thought that I had at least 5 more years before we got to the everybody has them and I need them too conversation.

So I give in, I tell her we can go look at them and see if she likes them and if they fit well. So we look, I see $40 for a pair of kids shoes and I almost gag. Now my daughter is a real girly girl, not a tennis shoe wearing type. She lives in "high heeled sandals" and "sparkly shoes" most of the time. I think she has worn her tennis shoes she has now maybe a dozen times in the whole year so I think she will try them on and realize they are TENNIS SHOES and that she will only get one pair (She is allotted $40 for school shoes) and then say no thanks I'd rather have 4 different pairs from target.

I was wrong, she tries on the brightly colored diamond studded, light up twinkle toes and is in love. Now the only size we can find is a 10 and they fit just right and I would rather get a 1/2 size bigger so she can wear them longer since they are so freaking expensive for a kids shoe (I am more of a 9.99 from target kind of shopper.) I tell her she can spend her $40 for school shoes however she wants and that we will get the 10's and look at other places for a 10 1/2. She agrees and is ear to ear smiles.

So tonight we are saying our prayers and what does Grace pray for . . . "please help me find a 10 1/2 twinkle toes."

I have a fashionista - a jewelry wearing, accessory loving, twinkle toes, almost 6 year old fashionista, Lord help me.

Sunshine and Swimming

So we are back in the Sunshine State for a month visiting the grandparents, and for my kids that means swimming - all the time. Now we have pools on post back in Oklahoma, but for some reason when we get here they want to swim all the time.

Don't get me wrong I love a good swim from time to time, but not as much as my kids and not as long. If you have ever spent any time with me you know I have a certain problem with extended periods of time in water, swimming, baths, doing dishes by hand. I cannot stand when my hands get pruny. I don't like touching anything and I don't like other people touching me when their hands are all pruny.

Weird, I know, but I really can't stand it, so all the swimming poses a problem. I don't like not getting in the water because I worry about their safety and it is hot jsut sitting in the sun, but I also don't want to get in because the kids like to stay for HOURS. Hours = Pruny hands and feet.

Inevitably I will get in and swim, get all pruny, and then get out. Now up until this point no one has needed anything from me, but 10 seconds after getting out with my pruny hands I am bombarded with requests, I need to go to the bathroom and I can't get the door open, I can't get my swimsuit off, I can't get my swimsuit back on, my goggles aren't right, I got something in my eye, I bumped my head, my hair is falling out, I want my hair out, I want my hair back up, and the list goes on. All these things require me to touch stuff and I'm pruny and I just hate it.

So my conclusion, there is no good solution, I will just have to grin and bear it as we literally become waterlogged . . . and pruny.

Gross

My little man Ben is a great eater. He will try just about anything, loves just about everything and rarely says no to an unknown food item. He is the type of eater that every mother loves to have, not picky and willing to at the very least give it a try.

Now with this adventurous eating personality there is another side that you may not be aware of and that is the self creation of food dishes.

Ben loves "sauce" better know as ranch, ketchup, or mustard on EVERYTHING. No I am not exaggerating when I say everything, I mean pancakes, eggs, fruit, mac and cheese, hot dogs, vegetables, everything he eats must have a sauce with it on his plate and he really doesn't care which one you choose for him, just a sauce. I hae seen him use yogurt as a sauce, mayonaise on occasion if there isn't anything else.

Recently he has developed a dish called cheez-it soup. Which is cheez-its or goldfish with apple juice poured over the top. (Yes that equates to soggy disinegrating cheez-its in a bowl of cold apple juice.)

Another infamous Ben drink is orange soda and coke mixed together or milk and coke mixed together. (I made him quit the last one with the milk, I was too afraid it would make a reappearance later and I was NOT interested in cleaning it up.)

His latest creation today was baked beans, hot dogs and cantaloupe mixed together. I get the beanie-weenie part, but he lost me at the cantaloupe.

Maybe one day this fascination with mixing foods will end by him being an illustrious chef with a famous restaurant, but for right now I am staying away from his creations. I prefer not to throw up.

30

So I turned 30 yesterday. It was a very unmomentous kind of day. Other than now when people ask me how old I am I have to say 30 everything seems to feel the same. I do have to say that saying you are 30 does seem very adult. No more I'm in my 20's, no more being a "young mother." Now I guess I am home free until I get to 40, now that seems older. Like if I haven't gotten it together by the time I am 40, it may never happen. The scary thing is that is only 10 years away. Ask me 10 years ago and 10 years seems like forever, ask me now and 10 years seems very short. To think that in 10 years I will have 2 teenagers? Totally weird to even look at my babies and realize that. Well the next decade will be filled with alot of changes so I guess I better start to prepare now.

The Little Things

You know, as I go through my day I am, due to the absence of my husband, constantly assaulted by the little things in life that I miss every day and those that I have taken for granted.

I miss having someone tell me they love my cooking and wonder why we ever go out to eat.

I miss someone saying in their southern drawl, "Hey Baby, I'm home."

I miss seeing big clunky Army boots and a uniform somewhere in our bedroom.

I miss having someone who gets my humor (3 and5 year olds don't).

I miss having someone get onto me about the van being on 0 miles because they are concerned with my safety.

I miss the fun of a 10 oclock run to the Orange Leaf Ice Cream Place

I miss someone to tell me that I am beautiful when I feel fat and ugly.

I miss someone to listen to me gripe about a meeting or an interaction that I have.

I miss cleaning up the bathroom of shaving cream and toothpaste and gel before I can brush my own teeth.

I miss the comfort of knowing that if I have a flat tire I have someone to call.

I miss having someone want to hold me, instead of someone wanting me to hold them.

I miss playing sequence and hand and foot at night.

I miss having someone to sit with at church.

I miss not having any of his laundry to fold.

I could go on forever it seems like, there are so many ways that I miss him. So for everyone else out there. Take the time today to appreciate the little things about the one you love. Even the things you don't think you appreciate like cleaning up after them, laundry, and the like. Because even though they seem like hassles now, if they were absent from your life, you would miss them. I know I do.

Teeth

I have a confession to make . . . I hate loose teeth. I think they are totally gross. I don't like wiggling them, I don't like the way the gums look when they are gone, and I don't like the way teeth look when they are growing back in, yuck. The whole process is totally disgusting to me.

Luckily my loose teeth days are over, however, my daughters are just beginning. I took her for a cleaning and they showed me that her bottom tooth was loose and going to come out soon. I cringed. I checked Grace's tooth tonight while I brushed her teeth and it is really loose. So my problem is I don't think I can pull it out, just thinking about it gives me goosebumps. I am scared to death that I am going to grab hold of it and yank and it is not going to come out and then what? Ugh, I am going to have to google this or something, any volunteers to be the tooth puller?

Lost It

So what do you do when you have totally lost it with your kids. You have flown off the handle, your upset, they are upset, and you're not sure how to take a step back and look at the reality of the situation. You have gone so far over the edge that climbing back out seems harder than just staying mad?

I found out the answer today, slowly but surely you calm down, apologize, try to mend the hurt in them, explain in rational tones why you were upset, and take back the consequence you gave letting them know you are human too and you just made a huge mistake and ask for their forgiveness.

I hate it when I have to learn the hard way. Lesson learned.

T***h

Trash . . . it's like a four letter word, I hate taking it out. The words MOOOM, the trash is full and falling on the floor, I can't throw away my juice box is almost like a curse word to me. And amazingly I hear those words at least once, a lot of times twice a day. I wonder what is in that trash can?? How does it fill up so fast? I just don't get it, what is getting thrown away? I don't like taking it out of the can (usually because it is overfull and spills everywhere), I don't like taking it outside, I don't like remembering to take it to the road on Mon. and Thurs.

I had several people offer up their help if I needed it while Peter was gone, do you think it would be too much to call them to take out my trash? Probably overkill, I will have to just grin and bear it. If only Ben were older. Until then I am stuck as the trash taker outer at the Dell house ugh.

Lightbulbs

So amazingly every single lightbulb in the kitchen is blown with the exception of the one under cabinet light by the door. So I think no problem I will just take out the bulbs take them to Picerne (housing office) and get some replacements no big deal, right? WRONG!

All the under cabinet lights are flourescent lights, so I am pulling on them and looking for some type of release button to no avail. At one point I am tugging so hard I am concerned I am going to break them. In case you haven't guessed I have never changed a flourescent bulb before we have always had the ones that just screw in, the regular 40-watts.

So I give up realizing if I can't change the under cabinet ones I definitely am not going to be able to climb up to the ceiling and get out the big ones. At this point I am totally frustrated because the kitchen is dark and I have to call Picerne to schedule a maintenance appointment just to change lightbulbs (they can't come out for a week)which feels ridiculous I mean I have a college degree for crying out loud I should be able to do this.

So I am about to look it up on the world wide web and get some answers when I get a call from the hubs. I mention the problem and he says in a very matter of fact way, just twist it and it should come loose. I twist and he is right, comes right out no problem. Unfortunately that still doesn't solve the problem that I don't have a ladder and I am not tall enough to get to the ceiling, but at least I can get the ones under the cabinets changed and have some light in the kitchen.

So thanks babe! you came to my rescue even though you are 3,000 miles away!

2am Is Not My Friend

So I have yet to get to bed before 2am since Peter left. It is just impossible to unwind at night without him around it seems. I didn't realize what calm he brought until he wasn't here. So instead I find it impossible to shut down the endless list of things that need to get done, or what tomorrow holds, etc. Which in turns makes me tired in the morning making me not want to do anything on my list. It is a vicious cycle.

It is totally weird to watch movies by myself, to crawl into an empty bed, okay maybe not empty, I have been letting the kids sleep in our bed temporarily. But the house just isn't the same without Peter, which is the way it should be I guess. An integral part of our house is gone and without him there is a hole.

Ican't wait to spend lots of money on plane tickets to Germany when he comes home next year. But until then, we make the most of some really great mommy and kids time!

Chores

Chores always seem like a good idea. I give the kids chores, they do them, that is less work for me, everyone is happy. No, instead chores require alot of management when the kids are 3 and 5. Making sure they put their stickers on the right day, reminding them of their chores answering questions about how it has to be done, when it has to be done, dealing with crying when they forget and can't get the sticker. I almost would rather just clean the room myself it seems at times.

However, we are soldiering on and will continue with the chores, why, because it teaches character, responsibility, money management and a bunch of other things that are beneficial for kids. And for me it teaches patience when have to explain that brushing your teeth includes not making a giant water/toothpaste mess all over the bathroom, cleaning out under your bed is part of cleaning you room, and just telling Benjamin what to do is not helping to clean the playroom.

So I guess we all learn something that we need to work on.

Missing My Soldier

So he's gone, he left today to meet up with his unit for a year long deployment. Surprisingly, the kids handled it really well. Grace laughed more than she cried, and well Ben, is Ben and just goes with the flow. I think we had talked about it with Grace so much that she was ready. We also opted not to take him to the airport, but instead said goodbye at home. I think that helped too.
In all honesty, I think I took it harder than anyone else. I really thought I would be able to "man up" and be the strong one for the kids, but instead they were the ones who took it in stride. I don't think I have cried so much in a really long time.
I still find myself doing little things out of habit that remind me that he isn't coming home for a while, like I took out four plates for dinner tonight until I realized there were only three of us. When I cleaned the bathroom I put all of Peter's toiletries in the corner of the counter so he can get ready in the morning until I realized he won't be getting ready in the morning at home for a long while. It's almost as if my mind doesn't want to make the shift that he's really gone for a year.
I spent most of today taking care of a sick little boy and missing my husband. Tomorrow is a new day and its time to make the most of this year, to take the opportunity to grow and improve areas of my life. However, it doesn't change the fact that his pillow still smells like him and I will continue to miss his presence until he returns home.

Lost Toy

Why do they make children's toys that have pieces so small? My son has a pirate set that has the tiniest pieces I have ever seen and it seems to be what he wants to play with all the time. Amazingly the kid has a mind like a steel trap when it comes to how many miniscual swords should be in this set (Yet he can't remember to put his shoes away even though I have said it a thousand times). So inevitably I hear, "I can't find the little sword, I can't find the gold sword!" So I comb through the carpet to find a sword that is a 1/2 inch long so the captain and the matey can have swords, very important.

As for Grace - Barbie, need I say more to anyone with a girl that is over the age of 5. She has a fold out Barbie house that has removable toothbrushes and a tube of toothpaste. Yes, toothbrushes for a barbie (very small).

Obviously who ever created these toys do not have any children otherwise the pirate swords would be fused to the hands of the pirates and the toothbrushes would not come out of the holder. I think in the realm of tortuous toys I would rather have the loud annoying alien gun and the princess toy that only plays 2 songs than the current favorites. Ugh I am off to comb through my rug for the "small sword" they are all small, how they can be smaller than small I don't know , but it must be found, the matey can't be without his sword, why you might ask, "because how will he fight the bad guys, mom his arms don't move for punching?"

We Need That

So it has hit my son full force. What might you ask? Commercials. I used to think of them as innoccous little annoyances that kept me from my show, but I am now aware that are actually meant to torture me through these words, " Mommy, I need that, I am going to get that for Christmas." Now we have just encountered this problem recently since my kids have started watching Nick Jr. versus Disney (who only has commercials about other Disney shows). My son has come to a full awareness that the commercials that come on in between Nick Jr. shows are for random crap - - I mean children's toys that he now needs. Not wants, but needs. So currently on his list are Bendaroos, some foaming bubble machine for the bath, various action figures, transformers, games, and the like. And since Christmas just passed, where he got a myriad of toys he now associates all gift giving with Christmas. So I say hello to the hell of commercialization and my sons obsession with owning every single thing that crosses the tv screen including non toys at times.

New Year

With a new year comes resolutions, desires, dreams and the like. I read a devotional today that marked for me the desire of my heart this year. " Be today who you want to be tomorrow." It really resonated with me because so many times I say that I will do it tomorrow, that I will do better tomorrow, but why not today. Why not get up earlier today, exercise today, love those around me today. So my hope and my "resolution" is to be today what I shouldn't put off until tomorrow. To love my children the best that I can today. To tell my husband that I love him whenever I think about it. To be thankful for the blessings of today and not worry about tomorrow. To embrace teaching again today and not worry about it. To volunteer now, to love what I do and be true to myself. To remember it is not always about me. To be careful to listen to God's words today and to be cognizant of my effect on others around me. To care about my attitude and how I speak to others. To be the woman God created me to be, to be the woman I want to be tomorrow . . .but instead make it today.