The Kids

So Grace is on vacation for Thanksgiving all of this week. Sounds great right?! Well, I have come to believe that my children (when together) conspire with each other to make the biggest mess humanly possible, find as many things as they can to get into (and subsequently tear up), and use Mooommmmy! (yes they drag it out like that, and if you are a mom, you can literally hear it in your head right now can't you!) at least every other word.

I have come to this conclusion of the team approach after much research (not!, like I have time for that, I don't even get to go to the bathroom on my own half the time.) Grace and Ben alone are a joy to be around, you can play with them, you can get work done, have a conversation, essentially it is quiet and calm. That is my life 5 mornings a week while Grace is at preschool, I have Ben and it is wonderful and easy. Then they get together and for the first few hours they play with each other and have a great time making a giant mess as mentioned above, I rarely have to intervene, but about 5 o' clock, BOOM!, orange juice and toothpaste, they can't stand to be with each other, all they do is annoy each other and we move into the Moooommmmy! stage. Well with Grace being home in the morning, it brings on the latter even sooner, in essence making it last longer and I think I might just lose my mind sometimes. I mean really, how many times can you be the referee on who had the Thomas the Train toothbrush that plays music first, my count today on that issue 6 times.

Granted my kids love playing with each other, they can be soooo sweet with each other, (I mean Grace even calls him sweetheart), but I think when the schedule is changed or interupted for extended vacations like Thanksgiving and oh boy, Christmas, I don't think they know what to do with themselves and all that extra time together.

Well, they are playing like angels right now (making a mess of the playroom that I just cleaned), so I am off to folding laundry before the madness ensues, and trust me it will.

Journal

So I wrote in the last page of my journal today. My husband got me this journal last year for Christmas and I have treasured its special meaning. I went back and read the first couple of entries I made in the journal which would have been December of 2007. In the prayer I prayed that God would let us find a church that is home. I was struck by the fact that almost exactly one year ago we were looking for a church home, one that we could feel comfortable and that would "fit", we have tried a few this year and well, I am happy to say that we are a part of Element Church and it is home. We all really love it and find it to be a great place to worship God. It is exciting to think about raising our kids there and them knowing that church can be and is different where we worship. That we the people form the church and our heart is for our community.

In fact, today as we were driving by Riverview High School Grace said, "We used to go to church there!" I asked her which church she liked best and she said, "The one we go to now." When I asked her why, she told me because she likes her teachers and class there the best, that they do fun things and even though they don't go outside, it is her favorite, and it takes alot to be "going outside in Grace's book.

Greatest Story

So I have heard the song by Avalon called "The Greatest Story", but I have never really listened to the words with purpose. I heard the song the other day and I was struck by the message in the words. For those of you who haven't heard it, here's the beginning:

Some days your own resolve is strong
And other days you bend
it's two steps forward, one step back
and a stumble now and then
You wonder if you'll ever really make the difference
you've prayed that you will
Well, I know that prayer will be fulfilled 'cause
Your life woven day by day
is a new design of the glory God displays
on the canvas of creation
Through the poem of history
in the pattern of redemption
running through the tapestry
Your life in christ can be
the greatest story ever told.

My first reaction to this was, Wow, how awesome to think about my life being the greatest story ever told, to have made a difference, a difference I prayed for, a world changing difference. My life mattering to more than just me. I started to think about what big dream would be fullfilled through my life, what big thing God could do through me! It was in that moment of grandiose thought that God spoke clear and loud to me saying, your life is the greatest story ever told because you live that life for me, whether it be being a great mom to your kids or a wife that supports her husband, a good friend to those in your life, or even a good daughter and sister. These are the things that make your life great. They are what make the biggest impact, they are world changing all in themselves. Your life matters to more people than just you, every tear you dry, every scraped knee you kiss, each resume you write, or holiday you host, each person you call, or time you invest, each task you do is world changing to someone even if they don't know it in that moment I do and I see you. Don't get me wrong, God can totally use me to change the world, I might be the next first lady, you never know, but I can't only dream the big dream. I have to remember to relish the small dreams, the little things in life that make up my everyday, because it is those little things that are woven day by day and displays God's glory to those around me. So I choose to continue to dream about the big things, but relish in the "small things" that I get to do each day, because they matter.

The Week in Review

So I have totally flaked on my blog here the last few days. Let's start with the fact that the air conditioning has been broke for two weeks. Yes, you heard me two weeks. It wasn't so bad the first week because it was so cold it was actually nice, but this last week, whoa! I am a Florida girl, but 85 outside is 90 inside with no air. You know you are hot when you have to change your shirt midday because you are sweating so much. Eww, gross I know! They came today with our new system since the old one was unrepairable. An expense I would have rather done without, but Florida without air would be as bearable as licking an ashtray. I realized I could have bought 840 McDonald's value meal, or 104 pairs of shoes with that money.

On another note, I have been thinking about running a 5K in March. It sounds like a good idea in theory, but the question is can I actually get my butt in gear and do it. I refuse to run/walk it. Either it is run the whole way or forget it. Having to walk part of a 5K means you should have never signed up to begin with, that would be so lame to have to walk. So I am contemplating it, but no decision as of yet.

Grace spent the afternoon at her friends house this week and when she came home (after crying for five minutes about not being with her best friend) she proceeded to inform me of how cool everything is there. She let me know they have a TV in their van, and her mom calls them pumpkin and pea, and she has a leapster, and she . . . on and on and on. So typical, the grass is always greener on the other side.

So for those of you that don't know, I sell Premier jewelry. I really love it, it is alot of fun and I make good money. I am working hard at sponsoring some more jewelers by January. I really want to make designer by then. That means I need to sponsor 6 more jewelers personally, it seems unobtainable, but I am going to work hard at it. It would be really great to earn funds for flying from the Mahusay's. Anyway, I am calling, calling, calling. Doing an event this month to help with the sponsoring. I am praying God will bring those people that could benefit from Premier into my life and that I would seize the opportunity with them, which is half my problem I think, sometimes I miss them. I need some courage and words beyond my own self to inspire others to think about the business.

Anyway, I have a book to read, so I am out of here!

Quote

Here's a quote from Phyllis Diller for all you mom's who have a messy house like me!

" Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."

That is exactly how I feel. It never ends and seems to be the most fruitless activity I do sometimes.

Fruits

I have started reading Tender Mercy for a Mother's Soul. If you are a mother and you haven't read it, it is a must read. I am only a few pages in and I am already going back to re-read the beginning again because it so speaks to my soul. She talks about how her children are God's instruments to grow her in the fruits of the spirit. She gives examples of how God is doing that and I thought I would do the same for my own children, because it reminded me that sometimes things I think of as inconveniences might be opportunities that God is using in my life to grow me through my little ones.

Love: I definitely have learned what it means to love someone for who they are not what they can do for you, what position they are in society, how funny they are, what they look like, or even how good of a person they are. Love is a warm snuggly little body laying next to you and whispering I love you when you look a mess with morning breath. Love is hearing them run to the door calling your name when you come home. Love is being the only one who can soothe a hurt knee or spirit. Love is having your heart burst with pride when they share their toy with a friend or remember to throw away their juice box container in the trash instead of on the floor. Love is the smile that comes when you let them have a sip (or gulp) of your coke. Love is wanting to be with your children more than having a pristine home. Love is deep, heartfelt and soulful.

Joy: Joy now takes so much less than it used to. I can remember the heart brimming joy when both of my children said I love you with out me saying it first. Just knowing that they felt that in that morning and wanted to say it was a joyful moment not be forgotten. Joy is listening to my kids laughing their heads off together in their carseats for a reason that is beyond me all together. Joy is letting them help bake cupcakes just so they can eat the batter off of spoons and eat more frosting than they put on the cakes. Joy is watching my daughter dance in her recital or hearing my son say watch me as he does his latest dance move. Joy is soap smelling, frizzy headed toddlers snuggled up watching a movie we have all seen a thousand times, but still being totally engrossed in it.

Peace: Peace used to be about quiet. Peace is now more of a state of being. It is being peaceful when the chaos of everyday life ensues, knowing it is part of what being a mom is about.

Patience: I don't ever think that I would have realized the amount of patience that would be required when being a parent. Patience is letting Grace try on 3 different outfits before she chooses one. Patience is not hurrying even when you are late (because toddlers do not understand hurry). Patience is holding the treat bowl for 5 minutes while they root around to find the perfect treat. Patience is saying the same thing 10 times without yelling at them because little ones are still learning what it means to listen . . . and then remember. Patience is getting up 10 times a night with a newborn or a sick child.

Kindness: I always thought that I was a kind person, but until I had children I did not understand the full scope of kindness in its truest sense. The sense that looks out for others, that desires better for others than for yourself. It is what allows you to go without and make sure your kids have all they need . . . and sometimes want. Kindness is pushing your kids on the swing for 1/2 an hour when you have tons of laundry to do or just need to rest.

Goodness: Goodness is a hard one to define. Goodness is a heart thing. Goodness is having a heart that matches what God's desires for your children are and doing them, even if it is hard. It is teaching instead of punishing and providing a home where God is glorified.

Faithfulness: My children trust me and rely on me, they have faith in me that I am going to do what is best for them. That I am following God's desires for them. Faithfulness that I love them no matter what they do or say. Faithfulness is a trust beyond words, undefinable.

Gentleness: Gentleness cares about scraped knees about kissing them and putting on cream. It helps them hop around the house on one foot because their boo boo hurts that bad. Gentleness lets your kids fall asleep in your bed because they are scared their room. Gentleness is letting your little girl do your makeup and your hair and then say it is beautiful and how much you love it even though it will take you an hour to wash it all off and comb out the knots.

Self-control: Self control is an internal waiting. It is letting your son help you with the laundry or the dishes when it would be faster to just do it yourself. Self control is letting your kids watch the same show over and over and over and watching it with them. Self control is slowing down so your kids don't have to catch up. Self control is taking a second trip around the block even though you are hot and want to go inside. Self control is putting your son back in bed for the 10th time without yelling when you have had a busy day and just want to rest.

Being a mom is amazing. God continues to help me grow and learn from them everyday and I hope that never stops. He is using these little people called Grace and Ben to shape parts of my heart and soul to be better each day. Who knew people so little could have such a big impact.