Charenboley and Burning Calories While You Stand?

You know there used to be a show called "Kid's Say the Darnedest Things" and it was like AFV only kids and their hilarity of comments when they are small, but what I have come to find out is that laugh out loud funny doesn't stop just because they get older.  Even at 12 and 14 my Grace and Ben crack me up . . . Teens say the darnedest things too. So here you go . . . a little Grace and Ben say the darnedest things.

So I am driving in the car with my sweet Ben, and while I can't for the life of me remember the exact topic of our conversation, I know it had to do with the town we live in looking like a ghost town after a certain time.  He then proceeds to say, "Yeah, its like "Charenbowley (pronounced chair-en-bowl-ee)!"  I stop for a second and let that word sink in.  Then I sit for about 10 seconds more just pondering what in the world is Charenbowley? Then the clouds part in my brain and it hits me . . . He had been studying Russia and the Ukraine a couple of months back in school and he means . . . wait for it . . . Chernobyl (insert laughing/crying emoji here). I start laughing til I can't breathe, and Ben of course is confused and says, "What mom?" I catch my breath and say, "You mean Chernobyl?" He's responds with a, "Yeah, that place!" And proceeds to enlighten me all about Chernobyl, what happened, when, who was affected, how long the effects last, how it was an abandoned town due to a nuclear disaster and is now uninhabitable for years.  I listen intently and nod.  I actually learned some things I didn't know, but in the back corner of my mind I'm laughing because all I can think about is Charenbowley.  Now, I'm not sure why this was so funny to me, probably because my sweet son has the same dry humor his dad does and sometimes just the way they say things is funny even when they don't mean to be, but never the less, its forever burned in my brain and clearly in Ben's too because in his quick wit, now when it's all quiet in the town it's "Charenbowley time."  I love my son, he is the absolute best and always makes me laugh and smile.  Love you Ben . . . especially when we are driving and it is just like "Charenbowley" and we get home traffic free.

It's after school and we are at home hanging around the kitchen island.  I am getting my daily sit rep of all that happened during their school day with their friends and teachers.  Grace is up first and she is talking about her PE/Health class (which she has first period . . . horrible) and does not enjoy.  She proceeds to tell the story of how some of the students in her class (Grace was in this group) had to STAND and work on their computer on an assignment for the health portion of the class while other kids did some athletic activity.  Granted Grace is fine not doing the athletic activity as she will tell you she is NOT athletically inclined and prefers the fine arts mostly, it's the standing that is the annoying part for her. She's talking in her very dramatic, animated, speedy voice which indicates she is very peeved about this happening and finishes her story with this statement, "It's not like standing burns calories or anything (insert eye roll)!" Now the minute it left her lips, she realized what she had said hadn't come out like she meant and she tried to correct it, but it was too late.  Ben and I are laughing and she's trying to talk over us and correct the fact that she does know that it burns calories, but not that much more than sitting and it was hard to balance the computer on one hand.  In truth, I totally agree with her, holding a computer standing to type is cumbersome and I don't really get the standing thing either, but the dramatic flair in which she proclaimed standing doesn't burn calories was priceless.  Sorry sis, I just can't let this one die, it's just too good.  In fact, I'm sitting right now as I type this since standing doesn't burn calories . . . I love you sweet girl and I totally agree with you sitting is so much better.

I think I have amazingly awesome kids and really do adore them.

Passion and Drive

So as you can guess 6 years is a long minute and in that minute my beautiful little babies are now . . .  well . . . beautiful big babies (since they will always be my babies no matter how old they are). Grace is 14 and stunning and Ben is 12 and handsome as ever.  They bring amazing amounts of joy into my life every day in a million different ways.  When they were little it was all about the cute things they said or did and now it is real life accomplishments and still some silliness along the way.

I have seen my son become a budding artist with a creative brain that astounds me with all that it can conjure and create.  He plays the saxophone and is generally one of the most thoughtful people I know.  On the other side of the coin, he is still Ben . . . always in motion, with an activity on his brain or in his hands.  I have seen him turn a cardboard box into a desk, literally swing on his pull up bar into some type of flip, and complete a variety of "life hacks" in his room (can you say bread ties as cord keepers.) He has grown so much, but the crazy little boy that couldn't sit still for one television show still reigns supreme.

Grace has developed the most beautiful voice and has accomplished great feats in choir, from all region to just recently all state here in Georgia.  She is dedicated to her music and has even started teaching herself piano.  She loves school and her friends and strives for that A in every class (she is her mother's daughter.) She is a social butterfly and shows kindness to others that makes her friends and her family adore her.  On the other side of the coin, my little princess still drinks chocolate milk, eats cheese, grapes, and chicken exclusively and still hates all sauces of any kind.  She is studious and loves to read and when she is into something she is IN to it.  When she was little it was the Disney Princesses, now, its Riverdale.  Ask her anything and she can tell you.  There isn't a video, interview or post she hasn't seen.  She is the ultimate fan.

My babies bring amazing joy to my life and as any proud mom would, I had to take a moment to put down in writing . .  for posterity . . .  what amazing people they are.  They are gifts that God blessed me with and I cherish them so much. 

Hoverboards Don't Really Hover . . .

So both of my lovelies got a hoverboard from their Nana and Papa for Christmas this year.  Now Grace and Ben took to those things like ducks to water and were zooming about within minutes.  I however took a little bit longer to get my feet wet, but I do have to say . . . I did pretty amazing riding around on it after a million couple tries.  With my new found hoverboard confidence I decided to take my skills to the streets!  No reason to hide my hoverboarding prowess behind closed doors, oh no no no, everyone should get a chance to witness a master in action. So Ben and I took those little boards outside and onto the street for a ride to the park.  Now other than it being ridiculously cold (hence the reason I brought a blanket to wrap myself in) things were going pretty well.  As I read that back I wonder to myself, why not a jacket . . . a blanket really? None the less, we are boarding and killing it.  I am traversing sticks and pine needles that have fallen in the street like a boss.  Ben and I are talking and having a good little chat when I question him about why his hoverboard is constantly making incessant beeping noises.  Grace's hoverboard that I am riding is silent and purring like a kitten.  Ben informs me that it is a warning that he is going to fast and he should slow down. I ask him, does it kick you off the board or is it just a warning.  He informs me with great confidence and even shows me that it doesn't kick him off, it just beeps.

Now I honestly cannot tell you what in the world was going through my head during this next part of the ride, but let's just say, it wasn't my brightest or finest moment,  and it definitely belonged on one of those "epic fail" YouTube Videos. . .

We are just yards from the house, I have my blanket cape flapping in the wind, I haven't fallen once, and even did some pretty sweet turn around moves and then I say with great confidence to Ben, "Grace's never beeps, I must not be going fast enough, I am going to get this baby going"  and so I take off without a thought . . . I get it going . . . FAST.  So fast that the warning beep and the immediate "safety stop" occurs all at the same time and all the momentum keeps me going even when the hoverboard comes to a screeching halt. Now granted I am wearing my blanket cape, but neglected to put shoes on so as I go flying (my cape which was in no way helpful in slowing the fall, clearly I do not have superman abilities) my feet are dragged across the road and I land on my butt and shoulder hard while the hoverboard ends up on the complete other side of the street.

Now at this moment you may be sucking your breath in wondering am I okay??? Did I break anything?? OR you may be like my son who is bent over at the waist (still on his hoverboard) sucking wind because he is laughing so hard.  Here I am a gray furry blanket heap on the side of the road and he literally rolls over on his board and says between laughing breaths "Are you okay mom?"

Uhhh . . . NO I'M NOT OKAY!! I just crashed and at 38 that is a full body experience!  I got up and hobbled my way the rest of the way (laughing to myself at the complete ridiculousness of the whole ordeal) to the house not daring to look around and see if anyone was out in their yard watching my epic crash and burn.  Ben is doing some weird breathing in and out to keep from laughing as he helps me clean up my scratched up feet.  And I can only wait to hear this story back when he tells his sister.

Now we are a couple of days later following the epic crash and I have to say . . . I . . . AM . . . SORE.  Like I got in a car accident and my neck and shoulder and ass hurt and ache. Now I'm not telling my sweet babies that because those little boogers snicker every time its brought up because I have to admit it had to have looked completely ridiculous, blanket cape and all. But for me, note to self . . . I am too old to be going def con 5 on the hoverboard, I will leave that to Grace and Ben, and of course never laugh when they fall . . . or maybe just a little.

Oh . . . and maybe shoes next time . . . insert eye roll here . . .

Hey There Old Friend . . .

It's been a hot minute . . . just 6 years is all . . . a lot has changed, life has moved and so have I, twice in fact. We left Japan in 2015, spent three years in Austin, Texas, then headed to the current stomping grounds . . . the budding metropolis of Richmond Hill, Georgia.  I can barely say that with a straight face.  Richmond Hill is a teeny tiny town about 45 minutes out of Fort Stewart and in this town I have encountered one of my pet peeves . . . the dreaded roundabout.  Now let me tell you, I LOVE me a good roundabout because it keeps that traffic moving and keeps me from having to stop at a stop sign or stop light and traffic backing up to kingdom come.  However, the peeve part comes in when the drivers in this town treat that wonderful roundabout as a stop sign!!! Not a stop sign guys, that red triangle says yield which means no cars coming you can just . . . wait for it . . . keep going!  No need to stop, just ease that Honda Accord right out into the roundabout and go on with your bad self.  Honestly there are times when I want to put on a fluorescent vest and direct the traffic at that circle.  So if ever you decide you want to pop down for a visit and you see a chick hanging out at the roundabout with a pink whistle wheeting at the cars . . . it might just be me, I mean we all have our breaking point.

Babies??

Pregnant . . . . ???  Nope, I am sitting here tonight avoiding doing my parent conferences forms contemplating my conferences forms and was drawn into looking at old family photos.  As I flipped through them on the computer I was shocked. The first thought that came to my mind was, "Where did my babies go?" I got teary eyed looking at photos of my sweet baby girl striking a pose, wearing a tiara and ponytail on Easter just because she can, singing into a kalidescope, and just being the sweetest thing on the planet. 

And my baby boy being the master water slider, wearing glasses,
playing with phones (his obsession when he was little), and being the cutest thing ever. 

I thought to myself, the chubby faces are recognizable, they spark memories of when those pictured were captured, but my babies . . . are gone.  Today I have a budding actress and singer who loves school, her teacher, learning, being dramatic, her friends, writing stories, being on the computer, being silly, fashionable, and texting on her ipad.  Today my son is always moving (well I guess that hasn't changed much), building lego structures, reading, studying, working on endangered animal projects, writing stories, learning how to play chess, and playing sports.  Gone are the days of when holding them was easy and I could carry them to bed without breaking a sweat, diapers, sweet baby smell, and laughter or the silly things toddlers say.  Gone is the wonderment over the simple things like nerf guns and fake phones that sing mickey mouse clubhouse songs. Gone are the days of innocence that Mickey Mouse is a real person and not just a guy in a costume and Tinkerbell really has fairy dust to make you fly.  With that realization came a heaviness and a longing to have them small again.  To cuddle them and chase them around as they toddled instead of walked or ran, to push them on the swing because they didn't know how to do it on their own yet, to see them push around in their flinstone cars because they can't ride bikes yet.

But as I sit here and look around at my surroundings I am struck by the things I see.  A chapter book about believing in fairies, imaginary lego structures that only my boy can decipher what they are, a conversation that made me laugh out loud about school and their friends, Grace's "happy face", Ben literally playing soccer indoors, wanting to be tucked in like a sandwich, mac&cheese, or a chicken taco (its a Dell thing people I can't explain it), my daughter's love of picking out the perfect accessory and the fact that she still sits at her Rapunzel vanity to get ready, my son crawling up next to me and my daughter with her head on my shoulder. 

Maybe my babies aren't as far away as I thought they were . . .

Veteran's Day

Veteran's Day . . . for many this holiday is a day off to have barbeques and spend time with family, for others it is a day to remember their lost love ones, for some a day to celebrate their servicemember, for others a day to think about their servicemember 10,000 miles away in a deployed environment and missing their face and their arms around them.

I have spent Veteran's day in almost all of these fashions.  Prior to joining the military, Veteran's day was the day we had a BBQ with my family and watched television and played games.  We never really had discussion of this holiday and without any military members in our family it wasn't one where we thought of others.

I have spent this day with just my children while my husband was deployed to Afghanistan.  Wondering what he was doing, hoping and praying he was okay and missing him so badly it hurt.  I have sat at church while they asked all military members past and present to stand and cried as my Soldier was asleep in a tent somewhere in the middle of a war zone and wishing that he was right here next to me and sending up a silent prayer for his safety. 

Today I am spending my Veteran's Day celebrating my Soldier.  Loving him and holding him close.  Being proud of the sacrifice he has made and walking tall knowing that his service is part of what continues to allow this nation to be great.  To know that my husband is part of the one percent of people who give back to our country, an amazing place that allows us to have all the freedoms we do.  I am so proud of him and when I think of him in his ACU or his blues I can't help but smile from ear to ear and say, "That's right I am the PROUD wife of an American Soldier. 

Today as you spend time with your family, take a moment if you don't have a Soldier of your own, to say a prayer for all the Soldiers without their families, working day in and day out to ensure the greatness of America and its safety is protected, for all the families left to keep the home fires burning til their Veteran is back, for all the kids who go to sleep each night and pray for their mommy or daddy's safety, for every wife who serves as mom and dad while her Soldier is deployed, and for every family who spends today remembering their veteran who will never return home because he paid the ulitmate sacrifice.

Our nation is great because of these men and women who give tirelessly of themselves to protect our nation and I am proud to call myself the wife of a veteran.

                                                                                      

On a personal note to my veteran:
I love you honey.  I am so proud of you and the man of integrity and character that you are.  I think you are brilliant at your job and the Army (greatest branch Hooah!) is lucky to have you.  You bring a fresh perspective, a keen eye, and exceptional leadership to the table.  I think you are the smartest person I know and I know everybody so that is a totally legit claim.  Your service is to our country is to be commended and celebrated because you are a man who has put on the uniform and chosen to serve his country at great sacrifice, you are a veteran and most importantly MY veteran.  There was a time when I never thought the military would be part of our story, but as we walk out this life in the military I am continually reminded of all the wonderful parts it offers and how much it gives us in the sense of pride, patriotism, and partnership.  I love you with all that I am and today I hope you realize your continued service to this country is part of the fabric of our American history and our story will forever be part of what makes this nation great.  I salute you love, because you deserve it.  My chest swells with pride as I think about being your wife, my American Soldier.  Kisses baby.

 

Peter is 35!!!!!!

Peter Dell is 35 and I just love him to death here's why . . .

1. I love the way you get sleepy eyes at night.

2. You are the peppiest morning person I know . . . and I love it.

3. You always look like a kid in a candy shop when I come have lunch with you.

4. You're stunningly handsome.

5. You're literally the smartest person I know . . . and I know alot of people.

6. I love that we have inside jokes with each other.

7. You are a great dad.

8. I love that you go along with my crazy ideas like marshmallow fights and gak making.

9. Your words of encouragement and affirmation are like gold because I know you actually mean them and you aren't just blow smoke up my you know what.

10. I love sitting in a class with you and making fun of other people.  Shallow I know but totally true.

11. You are a great driver and navigator.  I am not. 

12.  I love that you let me add cake decorator to my "CV."

13.  I love your hugs and how your arms wrap all the way around me and when you are giving me a really great hug you cradle my head in your hand. 

14.  I love giving you a really great kiss after we have been apart . . . because you are a really great kisser.

15. You're an amazing social worker.  I am constantly amazed at how brilliant you are.  When it comes to human behavior I would bet on you every time.

16. You are a great boss.  There I said it! It only took me 15 years.  Was it worth the wait???

17.  You are thoughtful and I cherish the special words you write me.

18. I love that you feel invigorated after showers it totally changes your whole demeanor.  I know I am always getting a happier, soft haired hubby after a shower.

19.  I love that you respect my no touching the pruny fingers after a shower for 30 minutes rule. And the no touching the hands in the shower either!

20. I love that you never hesitate to get EVERYTHING on the birthday list event though I tell you not to.

21. It makes me smile when I look at your phone and there is a page of my sizes, my favorites, and all the nuances of how I like my food ordered.

22. I love that when you go to buy me a gift you "channel your inner Angela."  That cracks me up.

23. I love that where I am weak, you are strong.

24. I love that when common sense never occurs to me, it is the first thing you think about.

25. I love that we talk things out together, things between us, things at work, all of it.  I don't care if our kids say we talk to each other too much.

26. I love that you try to get up and go work out in the morning, but staying cuddled in with me is just too tempting.  Now the alarm . . . I do not love it.

27. Your smile lights up my day.  It is one of the things I love seeing most in the day. 

28. I appreciate your insight and input when I need it.  When I need advice or someone to remind me of the truth in any situation I can count on you to be right there.

29. I love that I always have a shoulder to cry on.  That you stroke my hair and comfort me.  That you let me sit in the hurt for a minute and aren't afraid of tears.

30. I love your sense of humor.  Only you can put me into a fit of laughter that causes a snort.

31.  I love that you have "looks."  I love that your face can say a thousand words before your mouth can even say one.  Now sometimes I don't like what the face says . . .

32.  I think it is crazy you don't understand how incredibly handsome you are and are caught off guard by my . . . perceptive nature about this very fact.

33. I love that you find the most meaning in a card or a note.  When you say its the thought that counts, it really is true.

34. I love that you think you sound like Kenny Rogers or Conway Twitty.

35. But most of all I love you with all my heart, my 35 year old hotty. You are what makes my days brighter and my dreams better.  I love being your wife and partner in this life.

Happy 35th Birthday My Love!!!!

Toys and Swimming

My kiddos love to swim and they love playing with toys, mix the two and you have a match made in heaven . . . most of the time!

Sometimes toys can take a turn and become something altogether not what was intended.  If your a mom, you totally know what I'm talking about, a matchbox car becomes a missile, bracelets become handcuffs, and goggles become x-ray glasses.  A child's imagination can be a whimsical place.

We were recently at a hotel pool and being the sweet, kind parents that we are, Peter and I bought the kids little toys while we were in Walgreens for toiletries.  Grace chose a little pony and DVD combo and Ben in his infinite wisdom says, " I am getting these motorboats (wind up) to race in the pool tomorrow!" I thought, great that will give him something to play with (thinking of the ultimate combination of swimming and toys) and me time to read my book!

So the next morning we trek down to the pool and Ben tries to play with his $5 motorboats.  After about 2 or 3 minutes I witness this:

Yes, that is my little man chucking his boats across the pool and yes his sister is doing the same.  I ask him what in the world he is doing and he explains very matter of factly, as if this is what the boats were made for, "We are having a contest to find out who can throw the boats the farthest!" And then he proceeds to chuck the boat and I watch as it sails 10 feet, hits the water, and the motor pops off.

I don't want to laugh, I want to look at him and ask him, Son, what in the world are you thinking, that is not how the boats are supposed to be used? Why did I spend $5 on boats for you to throw them? Then teach a lesson on respecting your toys and give him the lecture about not getting him any other toys if you can't use these properly along with a timeout! But before my righteous indignation can get the best of me, I see his tongue out, full body throw and huge smile as it sails across the pool and I can't do anything but chuckle.

Then it dawned on me, so what if that isn't how the boats are supposed to be used? They were having a blast, laughing up a storm and having a great time.  Isn't that what toys are supposed to be for? Last time I checked toys were for bringing happiness to the kiddos we bought them for and they seemed to be doing that in a . . . non-traditional way. Now don't get me wrong, if I saw them playing football with their Nintendos I would have to call a no-go on that one, I mean you have to draw a line somewhere right! But in this instance, talking about $5 boats, there wasn't any harm in what they were doing and it was highly entertaining to them and in all honesty, me too.  Plus, when I asked him why he was throwing them he made his case that this was completely the right activity by telling me, "Mom, they don't motor good in the pool and the motors go right back on! Plus this is way more fun!"  How can you argue with the logic of a 5 year old.  No one can morph a boat into a missile better than kids!

Needless to say, they had a blast and Ben won throwing it the farthest the most times, which he was very proud of and let me know that boat throwing was now one of his special talents. My little man and his "special talents" I will add that to the list which currently contains, a handstand, locking locks, and drawing people.

Now whether or not the man trying to swim laps appreciated the boat chucking, I can't really say?

Hours

Today has been an extremely unproductive day.  I am in the midst of making invitations for my parent's vow renewal and since Lawton does not have a scrapbook store I ventured into Wichita Falls (an hour away) to get some fabulous paper only to be told they can't get me anymore of the only paper I like.  Complete defeat.  During this waste of a time trip I was confronted with several things that really irk me.  And since I know you are just dying to know, I made a short list (the only thing I accomplished today):

1. Lack of yielding green lights (already addressed this one)
2. Going into a store that has a play area then getting the stare down from the store clerk when my kid actually chooses to use it.
3. People who are not helpful and don't know how to do their job.
4. People who talk over me.
5. People who ask RETARDED questions when there is a line behind them. (For example:Your done checking out and you begin to leave. Then turn around to ask the cashier, "How long have you been here?" Which then fosters a 10 minute conversation about the store. Who CARES!!!)
6. Only being able to find one shoe.
7. Going through the drive through and having your order screwed up.  I went through the drive through so I didn't have to come inside.
8. Drivers who won't turn right on red.  It's not against the law people and no one is coming - GO!!
9. People who say, "I'm just sayin" Your just sayin what??? What does that mean?
10. Shopping carts with broken wheels.
11. Having to repeat myself over and over and over.
12. When someone jiggles your locked bathroom stall and says anyone in there?  Uhh yep sure am hence the LOCKED door.
13. People who call and then don't leave a message.
14. People who write checks in the express lane.

Unproductive days do not bring out the best in me - Ugh!  However, my daughter is going to make me one of her "mug cakes" and I believe that will make it all better.

The Purse

So, you all know what this is right?!

That's right its a purse! But it is not just any purse this is my purse. Today I was out shopping for things for Ben's end of the year picnic party, and  I noticed I was becoming quite frustrated at every single store when I went to pay and when I went back to the van.  Then it dawned on me.  My frustration was a result of this treacherous place I have now fondly named "the bottomless pit."  My purse is literally busting at the seams.  Have you ever seen those shows for kids where one of the characters can pull ridiculously large things out of some sort of hat.  Well, that's my purse, crap comes out of there that I don't even know how it fits in there or where the hell it came from.  If Let's Make a Deal was still on I would totally rock that show because there are so many weird things in my purse. Oh yes, and ladies, I am a monster at home parties, you know the ones when you have to find items in your purse that begin with certain letters. That's right racking up the tickets, don't hate the player, hate the game! Holla!

So back to my "pit" my day went something like this:

Go to Big Lots, get items, go to pay, search for ten minutes looking for my wallet while my sunglasses are falling off my head, start freaking out that the wallet is actually lost or stolen.  Unload contents onto register (totally embarrassed), find wallet, pay, try to leave parking lot only to repeat above steps at van looking for keys. Curse under my breath at this stupid ass purse!!

Go to Dollar General, get items, go to pay, search for 10 minutes before I get to the register (so as not to be embarrassed again) for my wallet while sunglasses are falling off my head and trying to balance the purse with the items I'm holding while looking.  Get frustrated, unload items onto floor in empty aisle, find wallet (again), go pay, try to leave parking lot, repeat above steps to try to find keys, find keys, hear phone bing with message, search for 10 minutes for phone while getting sweaty cause the air hasn't cooled down yet.  Yell at purse and tell it to stop swallowing my stuff!  Promise myself to get a new purse because this one sucks.

Get smarter than the purse and put the keys, phone and wallet in the side pocket so it doesn't get lost in "the pit."

Go to Dollar Tree, get items, go to pay, search 10 minutes for wallet, can't find it, unload items at register, still can't find it, begin to rummage through all the stuff looking for it, sweat starts to bead on my forehead, begin to freak out, then remember I was smart and put it in the side pocket so it didn't get lost.  Finish loading all my crap back in my purse, pay, stop holding up the line, go to van, remember they are in the side pocket, get in van.  Return to homeostasis after the small freak out session in the Dollar Tree.