So, you all know what this is right?!
That's right its a purse! But it is not just any purse this is my purse. Today I was out shopping for things for Ben's end of the year picnic party, and I noticed I was becoming quite frustrated at every single store when I went to pay and when I went back to the van. Then it dawned on me. My frustration was a result of this treacherous place I have now fondly named "the bottomless pit." My purse is literally busting at the seams. Have you ever seen those shows for kids where one of the characters can pull ridiculously large things out of some sort of hat. Well, that's my purse, crap comes out of there that I don't even know how it fits in there or where the hell it came from. If Let's Make a Deal was still on I would totally rock that show because there are so many weird things in my purse. Oh yes, and ladies, I am a monster at home parties, you know the ones when you have to find items in your purse that begin with certain letters. That's right racking up the tickets, don't hate the player, hate the game! Holla!
So back to my "pit" my day went something like this:
Go to Big Lots, get items, go to pay, search for ten minutes looking for my wallet while my sunglasses are falling off my head, start freaking out that the wallet is actually lost or stolen. Unload contents onto register (totally embarrassed), find wallet, pay, try to leave parking lot only to repeat above steps at van looking for keys. Curse under my breath at this stupid ass purse!!
Go to Dollar General, get items, go to pay, search for 10 minutes before I get to the register (so as not to be embarrassed again) for my wallet while sunglasses are falling off my head and trying to balance the purse with the items I'm holding while looking. Get frustrated, unload items onto floor in empty aisle, find wallet (again), go pay, try to leave parking lot, repeat above steps to try to find keys, find keys, hear phone bing with message, search for 10 minutes for phone while getting sweaty cause the air hasn't cooled down yet. Yell at purse and tell it to stop swallowing my stuff! Promise myself to get a new purse because this one sucks.
Get smarter than the purse and put the keys, phone and wallet in the side pocket so it doesn't get lost in "the pit."
Go to Dollar Tree, get items, go to pay, search 10 minutes for wallet, can't find it, unload items at register, still can't find it, begin to rummage through all the stuff looking for it, sweat starts to bead on my forehead, begin to freak out, then remember I was smart and put it in the side pocket so it didn't get lost. Finish loading all my crap back in my purse, pay, stop holding up the line, go to van, remember they are in the side pocket, get in van. Return to homeostasis after the small freak out session in the Dollar Tree.
