Tuesday, April 19, 2011

What Not To Say

So I was at a store the other day speaking to a woman in line who was commenting on how adorable my kids are (and yes they are ridiculously cute and well behaved when they want to be) and through conversation I mentioned that Peter was overseas and her response was . . . let's just say not the best (it's number one on my list). So it got me thinking of all the things that people say to me that I would rather not hear, so here is my list of the most ridiculous and irritating things I have heard in the last 11 months.

1. Aren't you afraid he isn't going to make it home?
Uhhh, yes I am! Every night I go to bed alone, each recital I attend without him, every bag of trash I have to take out because he isn't here reminds me of the fact he is in danger and I had just managed to forget about it for about 2 seconds, but thanks for reminding me again.

2. How much longer do you have?
I know this is a talking point, but really I try NOT to focus on how much longer I "have left." Ever hear the saying a watched pot never boils? The same concept applies. If I obsess about how long he has been gone and how many days are left it only makes it feel like time is inching by at a snail's pace, so please don't make me hash it out I try REALLY hard not to look at the calendar every day and calculate how many days, hours and minutes there are before he returns.

3. How long has he been gone?
Again like number 2. I really don't want to dwell on the fact that he has been gone for 10 months has missed our anniversary, 3 birthdays, graduation, first day of school, valentine's day and Christmas and all that is in between.

4. I just don't know how you do it!
I know you are trying to pay me a compliment with this statement, but really I am just one of hundreds of thousands of military wives across the country doing the same thing. We are all asked to do extraordinary things in our lives that some would deem impossible, but in truth put in the same situation you would figure out how to cope just like each wife does.

5. So do you miss him?
Duhh! Yes I miss him! What kind of question is that? If I didn't miss him I am thinking we have some serious issues. I miss him every time I get up and there is no little note to tell me how much he loves me, no one calls during the day to see how I'm doing, no one helps clean up after dinner, I am the only person who sleeps in my bed and no one asks how my day was. Yes a resounding yes I miss everything about him.

6. You only have 2 months left - that's not that long at all, it is right around the corner.
Uhhh, yeah sure two months isn't that long but the eleven months he has been gone have been. Please don't try and cheer me up by saying 2 months isn't that long. Trust me I feel like he has been gone for eleven months and the two months left still feel like an eternity to me and my kids.

Having a deployed soldier is tough. I miss him every day and our kiddos serve just as hard as he and I do missing their daddy and figuring out how to cope without a daddy around except through the computer. We are making it through one day at a time and I can't wait to have him home!

Changes

So it has been forever since I have been on this blog. Life has changed quite a bit. Peter is still deployed, yes I know it seems like he should be home - trust me I know, but it isn't too far off. He came home for R and R what seems like forever ago and we went to Disney (so much fun), I took a job teaching kindergarten and I lost 20 pounds. Grace has grown, Ben has grown and school is coming to a close in just one short month believe it or not. The Dell's are still here, we are just monumentally busy all the time it seems. But we are still alive and well in Lawton and Peter overseas. Have I said in the last 5 minutes how much I miss my husband and can't WAIT for him to come home?